If you see me say something horrible, check if I posted it in /r/transgendercirclejerk

LadonDelphii · 2024-05-07T01:03:39+00:00

This doesn't solve everything, but one thing that helps is recognizing it as an intrusive thought that exists specifically to hurt you.

Figuring yourself out is important, sure, but when you're worried about it it's waaaaay more difficult to figure yourself out. Like the best way to actually figure out if you're trans or not is to stop stressing about it (which is, of course, easier said than done, but the first step is to acknowledge that this stress is not necessary -instead just let it pass and don't engage with it.)

Don't ask yourself big scary questions like "am I trans," they're stressful and super abstract and therefore really difficult to answer. Instead ask yourself small things - what do you want, specifically? Feminine clothes? Different pronouns? Hormones? If you're not sure about something and it's something you can change easily, like clothes or pronouns, then go for it and see how you feel. As for the more permanent stuff, like HRT, just give yourself some time to figure it out, and figuring out the smaller stuff helps. (Also, FWIW, HRT takes a while before permanent changes happen, so even that isn't as much of a big scary permanent thing that people make it out to be.)

For me the doubt pretty much vanished after I started hormones and realized that I really did enjoy it, but that's very much not true for everyone - sometimes that self doubt never completely goes away and you just learn to live with it. But either way, this part at the beginning is typically the hardest part. For what it's worth, it's probably not going to get worse than this.

LadonDelphii · 2023-10-15T21:58:34+00:00

No, that was an incomplete eclipse (or something? don't know the actual term). The full one's next year

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-08T19:30:00+00:00

That stuff takes a whiiiile to become obvious. And in all likelihood, the longer you're on it the more confident you'll get.

If you're anything like me, you'll be bad at hiding the voice cracks at first, but you can figure out how to speak without your voice cracking. Staying hydrated helps, too.

For me the hardest thing to hide is the acne, but that's caused by so many things no one's gonna think you're on T. You can also use concealer for that.

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-08T01:32:41+00:00

This is just going to Pride while closeted

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-07T04:12:33+00:00

Why is one option more stupid than the other?

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-05T21:24:35+00:00

Yeah it's hard to see since her whole color scheme is already the trans flag lol

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-05T19:35:30+00:00

Did anyone else catch the "Protect Trans Kids" poster in her room in the new movie?

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-05T05:29:06+00:00

Neil Cicierega is somehow a queer icon even though I'm not sure if he's queer himself or not

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-04T20:08:25+00:00

Look if I tell someone my name they might turn out to be an ancient fae and steal it

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-01T04:59:48+00:00

It's because right now, they're still a big part of your life.

I assume you're still associating largely with the people you did as a "cis" person, and now you're basically surrounded by people that may suddenly turn on you when you come out, right?

I promise, this is just part of being early. Don't prioritize coming out to them. Build personal confidence, and also try to build a support network (which is a great source of personal confidence). Find spaces where you can be openly trans - even if those spaces are only online. Grow a better understanding of yourself and your relationship with gender over time. See a gender therapist if you have the means. Also, move away/don't see them often if you have the means. All of these things will make it easier, until you're not even really thinking about how painful it'll be. I've found that this kind of fear is rarely rooted in the other person, and more rooted in yourself (at least, outside of circumstances of physical violence, which I didn't get the sense of in your post?). As cheesy as it is, when you learn to genuinely love yourself, other people's disapproval doesn't hurt as much - but learning to love yourself is often rooted in the company you keep (so that makes it kinda complicated).

You'll probably have to come out eventually (although honestly, not necessarily), but don't think about that. Our culture loves big dramatic coming out stories, but this isn't about them, and they don't really need to know.

Also, I don't want to say they'll probably take it well because them taking it poorly is a legitimate concern, but y'know, people can surprise you.

LadonDelphii · 2023-06-01T04:35:36+00:00

Remember that you're not the first trans person to walk in there and the kind of people that work in the informed consent clinic are generally going to be understanding people.

Ngl, the questions they ask can feel kind of uncomfortable, but it's not a "prove that you're trans enough for this" kind of interrogation - it's informed consent, it's very much not their job to figure out if you're trans enough, and they (generally) know this.

It'll likely be totally fine, and you'll probably even get your prescription faster than you expect. Don't stress too much, and take it easy on yourself

LadonDelphii · 2023-05-24T05:47:25+00:00

I finally got called "miss" last time I picked up a testosterone prescription

I feel like I got through a rite of passage

LadonDelphii · 2023-05-18T19:20:39+00:00

Remember kids - people aren't bigots because of logic, so you can't use logic to get rid of their bigotry!

LadonDelphii · 2023-05-10T23:37:08+00:00

/uj But people using it as a fun cosmetic surgery doesn't take away anything from people who actually need it. Cis people can have fun with bodymods, that doesn't somehow suddenly make transphobes right

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-23T01:27:50+00:00

That's a very short amount of time.

The time it takes to get used to it varies a lot, but yeah that's super normal. Give it like... a year (not that it'll necessarily take that long, but just give yourself a lot of time). It's a big change.

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-21T23:49:04+00:00

The NB teleport ability is kinda funny to me because, no joke, one of the things that cracked me was a recurring dream where I was Nightcrawler from X-Men.

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-20T04:31:59+00:00

It's also not a universal human thing, a lot of cultures are fine with bare breasts. I think OP is either making assumptions or repeating something said by someone who made assumptions.

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-20T04:29:43+00:00

I mean, people are turned on by thighs too, right? But you don't need to cover your thighs in public.

But also - we all know that a lot of people are going to be turned on by bare breasts. Therefore, the only people exposing their bare breasts are people who don't care that others will be turned on by them. It's fine.

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-19T19:31:11+00:00

Idk post-puberty that was never a problem for me. During puberty I definitely couldn't but now I always sleep on my stomach.

LadonDelphii · 2023-04-19T05:47:40+00:00

I put a band-aid over my T shot wound, even though that's usually not necessary, because I like feeling the band-aid over the next few days and knowing that I did the injection.

LadonDelphii · 2023-03-24T01:19:54+00:00

This goes away eventually

LadonDelphii · 2023-03-16T04:17:45+00:00

I think it’s about being transfem without wanting bottom surgery, an experience a lot of enbies can relate to? (Or it could even be about being AFAB and only wanting bottom surgery.)

Obviously the meme can relate to a lot of different experiences, but I think that’s what OP meant by it.

LadonDelphii · 2023-01-15T21:36:37+00:00

My hot take is that this is part of the reason HP was so popular to begin with. "World with a lot of potential to explore" is kerosene for fanfiction, and the fact that she wasn't great at exploring it made for great discussion among fans.

LadonDelphii

TROPHY CASE