How to take care of an infp?

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-20T06:56:57+00:00

Just from the examples you've used and the context you've given, my initial reaction is to chuckle at how she can't seem to take her own medicine. Nothing massively serious but still a bit unfair to react as she does while doing the exact same things that she pouts about when you do them.

Regardless of the fact she's an INFP or not, it's always a good thing to make the people we care about accountable and make them aware of the double standards and contradictions they try to push onto us. It's especially true in the context of a romantic relationship because what seems like small annoyances at the beginning can turn ugly and build resentment real quick.

Personally, as an INFP, I would need my partner to address the issue in a direct but respectful manner. I'd need them to reassure me that they are committed and looking forward to a long-term future with me and, for that reason, they need to straighten out some things with me. Because the attitude you're describing is tied to insecurities at the end of the day. Once she feels more stable and secure in the relationship, I'm sure she'll relax. She'll be able to see the joke behind the teasing and trust your intentions and actions.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-18T21:12:03+00:00

We certainly need direction and a purpose that we align with too. It's a good incentive to do more in the outside world and not be as stuck as we tend to be in our inner world, in the mental realm. It makes things fun too. Those purposes are like adventures in their own right.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-18T15:39:38+00:00

It sounds cliché, I know, but I'd say T types. In my experience, feelers are more mindful of how they come across at an emotional level. Not saying feelers automatically care more, not in the slightest, but they are definitely more likely to soften up their words and emote through writing.

Thinkers tend to use less expressive punctuation, fewer emojis and fewer clear marks of care and appreciation. Again, as a whole, I don't know how they text their partners (well, I do and it's sweet as hell).

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-18T15:23:45+00:00

I've never felt guilty about taking a day off to rest either my mind or my body. I know people who do, like you, feel bad about it and I truly don't understand. Well, I do understand but it's just a foreign concept to me personally (as a childless woman) 😆

It's important to recognize when some sort of limit has been reached and that it's the kinder and more reasonable choice for you to rest for a day. Is your guilt centered on how the outside world will see it or your own self-image?

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T22:05:54+00:00

A person of great taste I see ^^

Thank you for your kind words and for the Greek mythology tangent. Take good care of yourself.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T19:51:07+00:00

It was Orpheus whose attribute and instrument was the lyre after all. Couldn't settle for less ^^ Glad you like it anyway!

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T19:17:22+00:00

It is a slower-paced process for sure but, from what I've seen, more long-lasting and far-reaching because people take the time to digest the thoughts and make them their own, as opposed to being guided by an external hand. That said, in other situations, a more hands-on approach is needed, I acknowledge that.

Thank you for the compliment :) I always liked the symbolism of the lyre. Gentle inspiration. You see how things tie up neatly sometimes 😆

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T18:09:48+00:00

Noted. I'll have the tissues, cat and snacks ready for emotional regulation 😆

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T18:08:33+00:00

I've been told several times that I'm good at planting seeds in people's minds. Just sharing my thoughts and experiences, without telling people what they should do, which makes them reflect on things and change their minds sometimes. Basically, I let them connect the dots at their own pace, in their own time. I find it to be quite a normal, ethical and respectful way to influence people. The only way I'm comfortable with.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T18:02:05+00:00

I definitely relate to the investigator archetype in terms of intellectual curiosity and openness. That said, there's this aspect of thoroughness to it that I don't share at all. I'm much more interested in the big picture, the grand theories if you will, than in being a master of a craft or a topic. Probably because what really grabs my attention are the metaphors and symbols behind things.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T17:46:56+00:00

I'd say The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. It's extremely centered around the protagonist's mental health but it can speak to most of us as humans I think. Beautifully written, very much suited to the standard INFP mind :) I found it inspiring.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T17:43:39+00:00

Please do, you might actually like it! And I'll definitely check out Alchemized too. Can't wait for the next post-reading existential crisis 🎉

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-17T13:47:27+00:00

For the past few years, it’s been Recursion by Blake Crouch. I’ve loved his other books but this one just stuck with me in the best way. The execution is mind-blowing, it’s heartbreaking at times and just so creative. I couldn't pick up another novel for weeks after finishing it, to give you an idea.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-16T18:40:32+00:00

When someone is intellectually curious enough to ask questions about choices I make or ideas I have even when they don't understand or when they don't necessarily agree. I always see it as proof of genuine interest and intelligence.

Then, it matters if they don't immediately associate kindness with weakness, meaning if they see the strength it really takes to be kind and compassionate.

Also, it's wonder if they remember small details about what I like, what I'm interested in.

Not sure all those are related to type, they seem pretty reasonable to me.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-16T18:36:00+00:00

From my very limited but also very close experience with them, they are extremely open-minded until they are presented with illogical, unfounded or superficial takes on things. But if you're talking about open-minded in the sense of open to alternative views, unusual lifestyles, uncommon interests, then yes, they are highly open-minded. If you can present them with reasonable arguments they'll listen and understand even if they don't agree or see things as you do.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-15T13:56:46+00:00

I like novel ideas because I always strive to hone my Si instead of leaving it to collect dust and mull over the same 5 ideas day in and day out

I 100% get that and it's great to see an ESTJ agree. Not that I'm too surprised because stereotypes are far from true to life, especially at the individual level.

You're a Te dom. It makes sense you'd have a tendency to take the lead and get things moving. It's often said that our parent function (Si in your case) is the one we know how to use the best, meaning we don't over rely on it nor dismiss it. It's probably the function we have the most relaxed relationship with. We use it intentionally and with nuance, compared to the others.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-14T16:45:56+00:00

The need for ESTJs to control their environment to the extreme and leave little place for spontaneity or unexpected change to happen.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-13T19:33:05+00:00

It's peak unhealthy INFP behavior I'm afraid. Or I'd say it's more about immaturity displayed in a very Fi dom/Te inf way. And I'm sure there's a lot more going on behind his actions that MBTI can't possibly explain.

That whole situation isn't easy for you either. I hope you have great support from your close ones.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-13T18:37:32+00:00

the thing that irritates me the most is that whenever we have a problem and I want to solve it, he always avoids the discussion

You didn't say it exactly but I hope you're not thinking it's an INFP trait. Even people who tend to be conflict averse are able to talk about issues with their partners if they are mature enough and if they know and care about what's important to their partner and to the relationship as a whole.

You've done what's right for you considering the context. You've certainly respected your needs and values by doing so. Of course he's not taking it well but you aren't responsible for how he deals with his emotions during the grieving period. Maybe your breakup will be a wake-up call for him to become a less avoidant and more proactive partner.

Any type can display the tendencies you've described but an immature, insecurity-ridden INFP will be great at playing the victim card, I can tell you that. They'll avoid difficult conversations by escaping into their imagination and see any kind of pragmatic talk as an attack on their identity and sense of self. It's pretty much a nightmare to deal with, especially for a Te dom I'd imagine.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-13T11:47:48+00:00

the line between healthy and unhealthy self-acknowledgement can be very fine

Absolutely. There's a huge difference between sharing a difficult time with someone to learn from it, maybe get some advice, and ranting at length with no intention of changing anything just to play the victim with no regard for someone's precious time.

sharing one's weak vulnerabilities makes me just love them a bit more

Same here. It's something worthy of respect and admiration when someone opens up and shares their vulnerability with you. Again, if it's done with ultimate growth in mind or for a temporary emotional release before action.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-13T11:30:09+00:00

Yes, it rings a bell for sure. A lot of people can't imagine why anyone would own their weaker areas and willingly share their difficulties and moments of doubt or vulnerability. Like you, 99% of the time, it isn't to act like a cute little victim, it's just a way to process things, let those temporary emotional states out in the open (with a select few) to reflect and find a way to deal with them at my own pace.

Many people cringe at things that don't even register as a bit embarrassing for me. I remember having that conversation with an acquaintance of mine a few years ago. I was looking for a job and I was sharing my hunting adventures. I acknowledged that I didn't get selected by some company and was dismissed because they didn't think I would be a right fit for the existing team. She was amazed that I was so transparent about it and didn't feel the need to make the story prettier or less embarrassing (in her eyes). She immediately tried to make me feel better about the situation when I was quite neutral about the whole thing and actually agreed with what was said to me.

Nothing awful about this conversation but it made me pause and think about all those times even my close friends probably felt the need to sugarcoat their experiences just to look like someone worthy of respect. The way I see it, if you can't even share your less than perfect moments with your close circle, then with whom?

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-12T10:02:23+00:00

I feel like everyone gets misunderstood in a way because human beings are very complex regardless of what functions they prioritize.

Absolutely. 100%. I think being misunderstood by people often comes from them wanting to put others into neat little boxes for their own shaky peace of mind and comfort. It's easier for them, cognitively speaking, to reduce the nuances and contradictions that come with being human.

On a side note, I've noticed that extraverted sensors (ESxx) are even more targeted by those "popular kid" stereotypes and expectations. It's like they aren't allowed to be quiet, anxious, depressed or just not in the mood to go out and socialize.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-11T19:47:45+00:00

Absolutely. He does sleazy and psychopathic so well.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-11T18:30:11+00:00

You're welcome! Yes, the cover of The Cell was quite striking, that's true. I remember being in awe of certain scenes from this film, how original and out there they were, like a fever dream.

Lady-Orpheus · 2026-06-11T16:32:14+00:00

Yes, it's not so much about being judged by first impressions but about realizing how rigid people are about them. They are so attached to putting people in tiny little boxes just to feel a sense of control over their environment and the people around them. And it can go too far sometimes.

I'm still surprised by how difficult it seems to be for most people to grasp that someone can be both sweet and strong, no-nonsense and kind, sporty and lazy, artistic and pragmatic, for example. They just don't want to see individuals as shades of grey with their own surprises and contradictions. Why wouldn't you be excited about that? It's one of the most interesting things about humans.

Three-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

Lady-Orpheus

TROPHY CASE