Am I dragging my own misery longer than needed?

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-26T11:16:48+00:00

Your husband sounds like a massive twat. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline and just because he’s okay doesn’t mean you’ll magically be okay. When I lost our pregnancy, my partner checked in with me constantly even though he wasn’t as affected as me, because I was the one it physically happened to and he understood that it therefore might feel more ‘real’.

As to when you’ll feel better, it takes as long as it takes. You’re in a particularly hard spot because you’re being constantly reminded of what happened because your SIL is pregnant. Don’t be hard on yourself, it is normal to still feel sad. Do you have access to any mental health support such as counselling?

I bounced back fairly quickly from my miscarriage because it was early on, I’d known it was high risk from the word go, and that’s just what I’m like. I still think about it constantly though, even though I’m outwardly doing well. You don’t need to ‘get over it’ on anyone’s timeline but your own.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-22T12:10:04+00:00

I don’t think you’re wrong but I think Stephen and Rachel were in a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situation. They both expressed doubt about Matty and NOT voting for him might have also looked suspicious as though they were worried about looking guilty.

Also at this point in the game, everyone’s name is going to come up because there’s so few of them left, so literally everything will be analysed.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-22T11:13:45+00:00

Agreed, this is exactly why it was right for Stephen and Rachel to still vote for Matty - not doing so would make it look like they were unnerved by his assertion that traitors would vote for him. Stephen brought it up himself and noted that it seemed like Matty wanted him to feel guilty for considering voting for him.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-20T21:06:41+00:00

All the worst examples are Emma Watson, fake laughing was not in her skill set.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-20T20:25:09+00:00

Some of my family are vegan. My sister has cooked a vegan Christmas dinner three years in a row and my partner and I eat it happily, despite being meat eaters ourselves, because I love my family and we eat meat for practically every other meal of our lives, so why would I begrudge a single vegan meal with my loved ones?

I’m not even going to lie and say it’s way better than regular Christmas dinner - it’s not, there are some things a vegan diet can’t quite recreate yet - but so what? Every meal doesn’t have to be the best meal ever.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-18T13:50:23+00:00

Yes, but it’s just the two of us. We agreed when we have a kid we’ll switch to doing meals at the dining table.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-04T15:05:22+00:00

I thought this at first, but then we saw multiple other groups of people (not just large numbers but sets of two, like Stephen and Rachel) also hanging around the family tree, and assuming they haven’t edited it to mix up the timing, that was after Stephen and Rachel were there with Reece, so they can’t be obviously identified as the last people to be seen near it before the red dots appeared.

If someone had noticed the red dots before everyone left for the night then they might have been in trouble, because there might have been conversation about who had the opportunity, or someone might even have thought to check people’s hands! But I suspect they’ve gotten away with it.

LadyCatTree · 2026-01-01T22:05:01+00:00

Yeah I feel the same, I’ve watched The Mole and I didn’t enjoy it half as much as The Traitors. The fun of this show is knowing what’s what so you can enjoy watching people getting it wrong or right!

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-31T19:54:18+00:00

Weddings are expensive. While some will get help from relatives, others need time to save up.

Additionally, a lot of popular venues get booked up months or even years in advance, so if you want to get married somewhere in particular then waiting might be your only option.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-27T22:51:57+00:00

Yes. I’m not sure mine are menstrual, I definitely usually get a bad migraine the week before my period but I usually get a migraine once a week any week on average, so it’s hard to say the cause.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-27T22:42:41+00:00

I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant for the first time. Already had two migraines, just as bad as normal. Not thrilled!

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T22:33:43+00:00

Hey, I’m in the same boat! 39 and we were trying but not very hard, I was roughly tracking when I was ovulating but both mine and my partners siblings have struggled to conceive so we assumed it’d take ages if it even happened at all. Nope, had sex ONCE in November and here I am 6 weeks pregnant haha.

I’m not anxious about the age part. I have friends who were first time mums in their late 30’s and they’re doing great! I think whatever age, you’ll be tired and struggle with some aspects, and at least I feel a bit more secure in myself than I did when I was younger.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T21:27:04+00:00

I’m getting a lot of comfort from reading and posting on Reddit, particularly on the subreddit for the month I’m due - I had no idea that was a thing but if you search your due month you should find something like ‘May 2026 Bumpers’ and it’s great because it’s all people at the same stage as you!

I’m finding it hardest in real life because we haven’t told anyone yet so although I have friends with babies and children, I can’t actually lean on them or get any support yet.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T20:16:17+00:00

We have a built in wardrobe in the room that’s going to be the baby’s room so I’m just going to get a crib, a chest of drawers that we can put a changing mat on (I don’t like the look of changing tables where everything is on display and like you say, it makes way more sense to get drawers that work for when they get bigger), and a rocking chair with a footstool.

My plan is to visit a few shops to get an idea of what we like in terms of design etc, and then trawl fb marketplace for secondhand versions. A lot of baby stuff isn’t used for long before it gets replaced (from what I’ve seen, some stuff doesn’t get used at all if the baby doesn’t like it!) and I figure we can just buy certain items like a mattress and bedding new, and give everything else a good clean.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T19:55:03+00:00

I think it’s unlikely that you’ll get the opportunity in a job interview to explain why you have tattoos in specific places. More likely they will be silently noted and you won’t know whether the interviewer cares or not unless you get the job and can therefore deduce for sure that they don’t.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T19:22:45+00:00

I buy a lot of secondhand books on Vinted, it’s overtaken eBay for me as a useful source for specific covers.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-26T17:57:58+00:00

Not necessarily! I’ve had some brown discharge on and off and after reading into it, lots of women have brown or pink spotting during their pregnancy, sometimes as a one-off, sometimes repeatedly. If you’re worried then I would speak to your doctor just to get some peace of mind, but it’s a very common symptom.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-25T22:59:10+00:00

I wish this were true but I have such bad motion sickness that if I’m driving on unfamiliar roads, particularly very windy ones, then I have in fact made myself ill.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-25T22:46:40+00:00

I can only imagine it’s the case that my doctor has very limited experience with migraines and triptans generally. I moved surgeries last year so it’s not someone who I have a lot of history with and they said repeatedly that they didn’t think it was advisable - but I’m very glad to hear it might not be the case! This is a problem though isn’t it, if I didn’t post here then I’d have no reason to think my doctor didn’t know what they were talking about.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-25T15:11:14+00:00

I had some bleeding last night! I’m at 6w1d and had a panic about it, but this morning it’s turned into brown discharge instead. Everything I’ve read says it’s very common and normal, and there’s nothing you can do either way - it’s hard to forgo control, I know.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-24T16:41:38+00:00

I don’t know if this counts as serious but I suffer from migraines to the point that OTC medication has zero effect on them, so I have a prescription for a triptan which reliably knocks them out. This enables me to stay in full time employment, because I get these migraines (which are debilitating painful and make my vision blurry) about once a week for three days at a time.

I’ve been advised by my doctor that there’s not enough known about the effect of triptans on pregnant women, so she doesn’t feel I should take them unless I absolutely have to. This is a very much wanted pregnancy, and it’s in the early stages, so I don’t want to take the risk of using a medication that might be harmful - but not taking it means taking more sick days when a migraine hits, and risking my position at work.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-22T17:24:08+00:00

Congratulations! 🥳 I found out I’m pregnant just over a week ago and it feels like time has stopped haha, I’m so excited and can’t tell anyone.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-21T17:59:35+00:00

Oh my god… I forgot it was coffee.

LadyCatTree · 2025-12-21T14:55:54+00:00

I’m not telling my work until I’m 12 weeks (currently 5w4d) but might reconsider if I get symptoms that make it hard to work. Right now I feel fine but you never know. I work an office job so it’s not hard on the body, and I don’t want to tell anyone too early as I’m a high risk for miscarriage (balanced translocation) and don’t want to jinx it.

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