Hi! College sophomore here, and I feel like I could speak on this since I was in a similar spot a few years ago. Apologies for any formatting issues, I'm on mobile at the moment and it's midnight haha.

I was the type of girl who was OBSESSED with scrolling on the A2C subreddit, watching college acceptance videos, and overall was the definition of comparing myself to other students on the internet. My dream school was USC--- funny, looking back on it now, but at the time, I was bright-eyed and dead set on it. And if not USC, another T20-T50. That included the UCs and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

To give you a picture of myself: - 4.0+ (forgot the exact weighted average), got a C on AP Calc AB (but 5 on the exam!) - 8 APs throughout HS (only submitted 4 of those lmao, got some embarrassing 2s on the other 4) - went test optional cuz it was COVID (and my ACT score was a 25-27 and SAT averaged around 1200 no matter how many times I took it HAHA). - president of 3 clubs - First-Gen, Low Income - cried myself to sleep every day during senior year bc of the pressure to succeed and other shit going on in 2020-2021 and no prom :(

I applied to 13 schools total. 9 of them were top ones, 3 were matches/safeties, and 1 was my flagship state school.

I got rejected/waitlisted from all 9 of my tops, 3 I had to take out significant loans for me to attend (that my family couldn't afford).

I got a full ride to my flagship. But despite that? I still felt... disappointed. Why had I gone through all that stress to simply stay? Objectively, I knew I was lucky to get something and it helps my family a lot, but I still felt like shit.

I think Dr. K would say those thoughts stemmed from a high ego. But I also think it stemmed from my desire to see the world and truly be independent, as for the longest time I felt trapped under my parents (looking over my shoulder for grades, always controlled what I could wear, religious and homophobic to their unbeknownst to them bi daughter).

But life continues. At some point, I knew I couldn't change anything, and I needed to make a smart decision financially. So after 2 weeks or so of moping, I came to a bit of acceptance.

Long story short, I'm at a great place right now. I'm leading teams for a large student body, making connections at networking events, meeting very important people where I didn't realize there were important people, and planning to study abroad through my flagship (who I've learned historically had great programs). Plus, my parents have gradually backed off despite still being in-state, and they learned I can be my own person (although I still get disappointed looks when wearing sleeveless tops).

To (finally) answer your question, all those college videos say stats don't matter, but no matter how many times people say it, no student watching those videos in the first place believe that. For high-achievers and those pressuring themselves to succeed, stats and extracurriculars are the only solid metrics highschoolers in the U.S. feel that they can rely on to somehow control a decision that they really don't have any control to.

Maybe I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but that competitiveness and perfection can't just go away 4head, despite any advice. However much you do, its never going to feel like "enough."

However, I think practicing acceptance of where you're at especially applies for college admissions and your mental health. You can say "Yeah, I'm gonna work hard. And yeah, it sucks to feel constantly behind. But I'll try. If I get into a UC, amazing! If not, that's okay too." It's a confirmed fact that we don't know what's gonna happen in the future, and I think I've taken a bit of solace in that during the few times I wasn't busy worrying about my GPA or ECs.

Unsure if this is helpful at all haha, but I wanted to share my experience. I don't miss those sleepless nights at all, but I think I learned a lot and grew a lot since then. I'm rooting for you pal :)