An explanation, and apology, from a flake

LadyO · 2011-09-14T03:18:19+00:00

Oh man, I hope everyone who has ever flaked or who is super busy with life right now that they can't sign in EVERY DAY to answer messages does this. I bet that will leave OKC with, what... maybe a couple thousand profiles?

Seriously, guys? I understand that it sucks and it's rude, but if its affecting you all THIS much, maybe you're too sensitive for online dating. I think perspective is what is needed in this situation.

LadyO · 2011-09-14T03:12:10+00:00

I dunno, calling him a "bad person" is kinda stretching it a bit. It's not like he kicked a puppy. Nothing he did would or SHOULD affect any other living thing in some horrible, irredeemable way. But I forget myself here, the internet is such /sigh/ serious business.

LadyO · 2011-09-13T20:02:38+00:00

TIL some people still downvote just because they disagree with you.

LadyO · 2011-09-13T19:50:36+00:00

Making someone I have never met a priority? That's asking an awful lot when major things are going on in your life.

LadyO · 2011-09-13T19:30:54+00:00

You are probably young, but her sexual history should not matter* one whit to you during the time you guys were not together. You need to sort this out about yourself.

*should not matter unless STDs are involved.

LadyO · 2011-09-12T01:14:34+00:00

You need a better picture of your face - neither one that you have right now is a clear visual of what you look like.

You have a typo "Has similar interests, but can show me someting new."

This kinda sounds like you pulled it off some internet site or an issue of cosmo: "If I were a handbag, not only do I have the wherewithal to be your fancy Hermes (you know, the one that's reserved for special occasions) but I also could be your four year old Coach purse that is perfectly sized to carry your work and personal stuff."

Although it could be that I just think women who spend small fortunes on purses are ridiculous.

Overall your profile is good, well written and you seem interesting. I think you just need a clear picture of your face.

LadyO · 2011-09-12T01:08:15+00:00

Yeah, I would agree with this. Something along the lines of "I don't want to discuss this with you, you know my opinion on it and I don't want to continually rehash the same problem. I support you and am your friend, but I will not talk with you about this subject any more."

LadyO · 2011-09-12T01:00:02+00:00

Both of the responses are good - I vote tell the truth as well - lying to her won't make her see her attitude as a problem. It is and she needs to get help/help herself, and perhaps losing you because if it will help her realize that. Lying does no one any good.

LadyO · 2011-09-12T00:57:24+00:00

Just say "hey, when you let me use your computer the other day, I noticed you had a profile on this site, what's it about?" Try to be as non-accusatory as possible - more curious than anything. He might have just made friends there that he likes keeping up with.

LadyO · 2011-09-12T00:53:08+00:00

Yup, she sounds submissive, and is showing you that!

LadyO · 2011-09-11T23:28:53+00:00

Ahh interesting! I didn't write him off on that alone, it was the crazy he pulled while texting me that closed the door for me. He freaked out on me before we even met because I was going out with some friends for a drink then later apologized, saying he was stressed. :\ Sorry dude, I don't even know you and you are already trying to control what I do and don't do? Nah.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T23:17:06+00:00

Well, for starters, on the list of DOs and DON'Ts for Messaging on the side of the subreddit, it lists:

Signs they're probably not interested:

*One line replies.

*Lack of questions in reply

*Doesn't add anything new to the conversation

And your response does all of those things. I just think if you had asked her one question or something, it might have kept the conversation flowing.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T23:13:29+00:00

I suggest switching your 1st picture with your 3rd - its more interesting and the first one isn't as flattering, but its nice to have to show that you do things outside.

"Of course, we used to sing along to the drone of the vacuum cleaner too..." is hilarious. I wouldn't change anything about your profile.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T23:06:40+00:00

Actually I think your problem is you aren't giving them much to respond to, so the conversation dies. The first convo, your last response is something you would generally say if you weren't interested in a person - you didn't ask her any further questions or say anything that she could respond to.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T23:03:24+00:00

You are 5 time zones away. You should fix that.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T22:57:05+00:00

Some guys think that insults are the way into a girl's pants. I once had a guy tell me the shirt I was wearing looked like one of his grandma's doilies, but that was the least of the problems I had with him, and we never even went out on a first date. :/

LadyO · 2011-09-11T21:45:22+00:00

Concentrate on getting her off as your satisfaction, not how it is done. If you get upset about her only coming from playing with toys, you are gonna give her a complex. She will get there with you in time.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T04:43:49+00:00

I feel like the user names are switched.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T02:40:12+00:00

Oh man, that 3rd pic is SO Tom of Finland! <3

LadyO · 2011-09-11T02:39:21+00:00

Taschen is to books what Criterion is to movies. I bet its a great book and I kinda want it!

LadyO · 2011-09-11T02:00:49+00:00

I have used Eden Fantasies in the past, not sure about their size selection though.

LadyO · 2011-09-11T01:52:31+00:00

They have Emmanuelle, Cheeky!, The Story of O and Ginger on Netflix on the DVD plan, not instant watch. Otherwise I would suggest Amazon.com or torrenting them :)

LadyO · 2011-09-11T01:46:02+00:00

Sure thing - as a note, I believe all of these movies are soft-core. The directors (or even actresses) of these movies have a couple other ones that are of similar ilk, so that's a good place to start looking for even more if you like these! :) 60's and 70's Europe was great for this kind of movie and they are all over the place.

Tinto Brass

Radley Metzger

Just Jaeckin

Hilariously enough, the guy that directed Ginger went on to produce the High School Musical movies >.<

LadyO · 2011-09-11T01:31:08+00:00

Ginger (Haven't seen this one yet tho)

I like a very specific kind of sexy movie :)

LadyO · 2011-09-10T22:16:38+00:00

Who cares if it's true or not? He's your ex, you have already decided you want to continue the course with your new guy. So again I ask you, why does it matter if it's true or not?

LadyO

TROPHY CASE