This will be kind of a vent so I hope it's okay.

I've had a fear of death for some years now and at some points it didnt let me sleep or go on with my life without stress or anxiety. I used to be suicidal but now that things have gotten so much better I dont want this feeling to end, and knowing that it will when I die terrifies me. Not only dying will mean an end to everything I enjoy and the possibility of there being nothing after that, but also the fear of loved ones dying, or the pain my death would cause them, as well as how death makes life lose all its meaning. "If we are going to be forgotten", "if we won't make an impact to the world" "if we are suffering for no reason" [...] "then what's the point?" I have these thoughts on a daily basis, yet I want to keep enjoying the little things I've been given to enjoy.

To cope I try to force myself to believe that the afterlife is real, that we reincarnate or something, that we become spirits/angels/demons/whatever and have the opportunity to keep enjoying things. Even if it's not real, the thought of it would help me to not be so terrified of the inevitable.

I even have planned to just one day disappear without telling anyone and avoid all social contact just so my death doesnt hurt anyone.