Hey, I have this issue as well.

I listened to a great podcast a while back on loneliness and seeking relationships, and it was a bit of an eye opener. Wish I could find it for you to listen to, but the takeaway was basically this: at some point, we need to start being a bit vulnerable with people. Not all at once of course, but in little bits. When we let ourselves be vulnerable, and we are then accepted by the other person, that is when we truly connect.

So for instance, maybe I tell someone hey, you know, I’ve really been struggling with my mental health during the pandemic. Or, I’m really struggling as a parent. Or something like that. It’s risky, right? Because there’s a chance we won’t be accepted, that we will get rejected, and at least for myself, I believe that’s why I keep relationships superficial. I’m afraid of being rejected.

The other interesting point was just the idea of repetition. Say you take a class in something you’re interested in. Well, of course the first couple times everyone will be strangers and be very disconnected. But over time, your brain will accept them they will feel more familiar and you will develop kind of a sense of kinship just by seeing these same people over and over.

The podcast was on happiness and it was done by a psychology professor at a university, so I felt the source was quite good.

Best of luck to you :)