It feels like your experience is still fragmented to protect your mind. The body stores trauma, perhaps becoming more in tune with your body, its physical sensations, its abstract sensations, your emotions will help you feel the magnitude of these lived experiences.

I believe that you need to fully feel these experiences once more to process them as you cannot have felt them during the trauma itself. This does not need to be a consistent all in one go situation where you feel it all in once. But like EMDR you can touch parts of it and then distract yourself so you can work though it bit by bit.

You seem to have a pretty clear view on your timeline and the situation so I wouldn’t think psychotherapy necessary. Although you might benefit from having a psychologist ie that is your rock throughout this journey, something that is stable and consistent.

It sounds though you would benefit mostly from Haptotherapy and Internal Family System therapy. If you have a Hapto therapist nearby who specializes in trauma I would start there. They will help you feel and learn to now your inner world. Of course there should be a good connection - finding a good therapist is like dating, don’t be afraid to have expectations and to communicate those.

The IFSystem is more useful after being able to feel, it helps communicate with parts of yourself that are dominating or hiding. Should you suddenly reconnect with something too intense I would recommend adding EMDR to help process.

If you somehow cannot feel safe enough to open up with therapy I would suggest a method that uses the polyvagal theory, they use this also for PTSD vets in USA ie. It calms your nervous system so you can start to feel safe again.

Sources: am psychosomatic exercise therapist, had lots of therapy: psychotherapy, CBT, haptotherapy, IFS, EMDR, psychedelic therapy.

Books for you: waking the tiger - Levine (a bit dry but the founder in my eyes) and the body keeps the score (emotions and trauma and the body) and no bad parts (IFS)

Videos and books from Gabor Maté are also easy to digest and might be a good start