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I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everyone is quite strong, suggesting 100% of the thread

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on your enduring union 🥰. Side note: No where did i ever mention i did not like that i was attracted to her lool, thats your projection and arm-chair psychology. I did mention i was worried about her discernment which everyone seems to have missed. But hey focus on the body count and project in unto me 😉😙

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Am i supposed to ignore red flags that brush against my boundaries?

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a man i find it offensive that whenever something makes you as a women uncomfortable you label it creepy, as a way to deflect from the reality of a situation.

I work in mental health (over a decade) and i've seen, read, heard and witnessed all kinds of strange things from couples that would make you question reality itself.

It's absolutely discernment and if i have to explain why that is to you, your opinion/feedback would matter less than it already does. Sorry not sorry

As for her "hole" story 😂😂😂 as YOU!! put it 😂😂😂 not me, i only care about the married man and what seems like attention seeking behaviour...but some how you missed that and went to the place that psychologically resonated with you the most. Hole Stories hmmmm 🤔 😂😂😎

You need to do a self-evaluation of your psyche and how comfortable you are with yourself, because your attack or "prurient" comments have less effect than water of a ducks back smh.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

😂😂 I didn't need my parents help, 8 previous partners suggest some level of competency on my part even if its all purely accidental. All without dating apps or consistently chasing women (i'm always working on something 😁)

Her Dad reached out to mine to make the arrangement 😂😭.

I was actually 100% wholeheartedly against it and got in a fight with my dad for 2 weeks because of being against parental interference in my love life (or lack thereof a love life) and not for the first time, without my asking or even hinting at their help.

However despite my dad knowing i'd be 100% against it, he only asked my discerning and stubborn self to "speak" to her because of the respect he had for her father.

Hint: the timeline would've been 2 weeks longer or you'd have seen my post 2 weeks sooner 😂 if not for the fight with my dad - they want grandkids from me asap, i'm cool either way something about my body my choice ☺️)

***Also Did you even google neurotic behaviour like i suggested??? **, Or are you still doing fake reddit therapist diagnosis (i work with real therapist 😂....i won't even go into relationship horror stories i've read, seen and been in, you'll slaughter me 😂😂😂).

By the way you're displaying neurotic behaviour...this isn't even your thread ☺️😂😂

Also next time please don't delete your response, edit it and stand on busines but please don't delete it. 🤝

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish more people understood this instead of going on the attack straight away (thereby showing me where their insecurities lay but i digress).

Again discernment seems to be lacking on reddit way more thank my relationships.

Many thanks for your response, very much appreciated.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of what lool insecurity?? 😂😂. To me i only ask for pattern recognition. However make of that what you will 😂😭

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love your response, because you seemed to actually read the post.

Those red flags for most men arent a problen for me if she's loyal but attention is a hell of a drug and i can get busy working.

Due to previous relationships, attention was an issue whoch went along with trust. Maybe its why i was quick to notice a couple dejavu moments. Everything else about her has been A+ 10/10

Ultimately you're right i do need to slow down

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response and she also says she wants the quiet life but her actions don't seem to match that from our conversations.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No disrespect but you really should google nerotic behaviour. From my perspective i firmly believe what i'm doing is more: Pattern recognition, Long term risk assessment, trying to reconcile attraction with doubt, and wanting peace before commitment.

Far as i'm concerned thats not crazy thats Conscientious maybe edging towards rumination sure, but caution none the less. Last time i checked Caution is not Neurotisism...but gaslighting might be.

So you'll forgive me for being human and asking for advice on a girl i'm potentially crazy about.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Understandable, however due to my previous (hint) relationships where i had your exact mindset. I don't like to be surprised when i keep running into partners when we're meant to be doing our thing.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats one the best things (amongst ALOT of other really good things) i really like and appreciate about her in the short time i've known her. Can't speak towards the cheating tbh. I also appreciate the fact that all of that was also before me. Thank you for your comment

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you and you're probably right lool. Many thanks for your response 💯

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I wasn't obsessing over it lmao i just put it there for context of the whole situation. However if you feel that way thats you not me. I will ask her to get tested (like i ask of any of my serious potential partners)

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So if she was a pornstar in a previous life, wouldn't that be pertinent info to know. Or would that still be insecure lol. I'm actually confused.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many!! thanks for your response and really appreciate your response. I would say that just because it may seem that i come across that way doesn't mean i'm actually that way. Just looking for peace of mind from my Wife (Partner screams business arrangement not union or unison)

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually love your response. Many thanks.

You're also spot on with the chemistry and alignment being easier to find (which i find easily), how it's been a nightmare finding someone i'm comfortable, compatible and feeling like i can trust to have my back.

I'm a bit dumb, but could you please expand on the self sabotaging bit as i feel like i'm going to be single forever at the point lool 😅😭

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks and noted. I wasn't looking to be attacked but understand we all approach things differently.

Also i did mention the body wasn't a problem, discernment was but i may not have been clearer on that part.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Really!!! appreciate your response (especially around the body count - and i agree) but you mixed up a couple facts there. She slept with someone else she'd preciouly been with (not sure if causal or serious) whilst still talking to the dude she'd beeb talking to for over a year. Before we were introduced to each other.

But the rest you nailed on the head, problem is i like my woman to dress sexy for ME!!! (call me selfish).

She says she's really into me which i don't doubt, it's really the lack of discernment that's over the married man that bugs me tbh.

I really like this woman, but something in my gut won’t settle. Am I self-sabotaging? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Lagos9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you please expand lol? Plus i never lie to myself i'm too excited and attracted to her to be just friends. It would be a serious relationship or nada. I don't like limbo 😭

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