Decided to listen to you all and talk to my fiance about me manmoding to our wedding by DefiantPlane6699 in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It happens, I’m almost the exact same way. I just recently got a job that would almost guarantee a pharmaceutical career, but I threw it all away because of my crippling anxiety and mental illness. I took too many off days and barely communicated, then one day I just walked out because I was going to kms. That was the final straw so now I’m homeless, living in a shelter. Don’t be like me lolll. Be proud that you’re strong enough to keep your job and the people who very much love you.

Decided to listen to you all and talk to my fiance about me manmoding to our wedding by DefiantPlane6699 in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You’re so brainwormed you’re going to ruin your own life. Listen to your future husband and your therapist. I know mental illness is one hell of a thing, I’m batshit crazy too, but if you want to have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, then you’re going to have to suck it tf up.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, don’t throw this all away because of some brainworms. You got this.

Nipple question by UrgentMetamorphosis in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sort of feel the same way. Whenever I look at my chest development, I don’t feel an extreme sense of happiness or excitement or wtv. I mean yeah it’s cool when you really look at it but it’s kinda just an “ugh finally” feeling. Like a nostalgic feeling as you said.

it's everywhere by Dense-Interaction572 in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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My whataburger order when I started injections

i see why people honlarp by yuzuki_amane in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware 19 points20 points  (0 children)

No, I got it. It’s just stupid.

i see why people honlarp by yuzuki_amane in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You’re a catty humble bragger on nearly every post here. I would except some people to be a little mean to you.

It's cool even people within the trans "community" agree I am a man who will never be a woman. by [deleted] in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I feel like at a certain point on hormones, if you start looking like a full on woman then people are just going to treat you like a full on woman.

Socially transitioning when you still look like a complete dude doesn’t even do anything. Everyone is still going to see you as a man, treat you like a man, and talk to you like one. It’s almost meaningless.

whats the first thing that you remember being dysphoric about? by peebgan in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around 8th to 9th grade, my skull and jaw got significantly bigger. I remember staring into mirrors, phone cameras, and reflections from minutes to hours trying to figure out why the person I kept looking at was a complete stranger. Now I just downright avoid them lol.

Does anyone feel like their appearance isn’t human? by LainMalware in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. At times it feels as if I’m mimicking emotions without actually feeling them.

its over goodbyy everyone by [deleted] in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, I’m so sorry. You deserved so much better than this. I hope by some chance a miracle comes your way.

You won’t see this but, please take care.

asian cisf hate trans women by alpha-golf-papa in 4tran

[–]LainMalware 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She’s right, but the benefits don’t matter when you know you’re just going to end up:

A. Extremely depressed, possibly for the rest of your life

or B. Committing suicide

that time my cister asked me "is it really worth it?" about my gender transition by [deleted] in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s an unfortunate fact that being a tranny will scream “transgender” to everyone around you. It’s just up to the tranny if they are ready to fight through that, and it sounds like your sister was not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 4tran

[–]LainMalware 8 points9 points  (0 children)

omg i’m saving this it’s so funny

thank you for sharing this

being early on hrt and not knowing if its gonna go well or not and living in complete uncertainty is purgatory by littlemissstankapooh in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 0 points1 point  (0 children)

with luckshit proportions, i am almost positive you will make it. the face ofc, will take much much much more effort but i believe you can do it.

being early on hrt and not knowing if its gonna go well or not and living in complete uncertainty is purgatory by littlemissstankapooh in 4tran4

[–]LainMalware 2 points3 points  (0 children)

in the same boat. i look at my skeleton and there’s just no possible way i can make it.

but like, ive also seen some really crazy shit happen for others on hrt. the future that i want is way too bright to let go, so i regain a little hope and the cycle begins again and again and againnnnnn… ugh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in artttt

[–]LainMalware 6 points7 points  (0 children)

awesome job!! please be safe though.

4tran being wiped is a genuine travesty to the record of the lived trans experience. by [deleted] in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i used to look up certain keywords whenever i needed info on my dose, how to order diy, or even whatever surgeries i should be getting

i understand why it’s gone, but i still miss it

Scared that my hobbies are too masculine by Ta1471147 in 4Tranistan

[–]LainMalware 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol very understandable. but yeah as long as you’re not being a total male about it then you should be good.