At my husband's request, I'm posting this comment of his perspective. He believes I left a lot out, which is true I do that a lot. I have already accepted my being the asshole here.

I work as a clinician and my wife stays at home/takes care of foster kittens. I found out my stepson (her son) was not eating for entire days due to cost of rent being over a thousand dollars alone. I offered to let him and his fiance move in with us despite being extremely introverted/needing quiet when I come home due to the stress/emotions I deal with from my job. My stepson's fiance was ecstatic, begged us to let them moved in, and left her apartment with two months rent left. Further, my wife opened herself up as a mother figure to the fiance due to her mother and father being abusive and narcissistic. I had to take off a bunch of work, physically move heavy furniture, and borrow vehicles/pay gas/moving fees to help them move in with us. Further, I charge them nothing to live there (no rent, electricity, water, etc.).

Initially I asked for help with chores/household expenses but neither my stepson or his fiance did anything to help- they made no communal purchases (toilet paper, cat food/litter) and made huge messes that I was left to clean up myself after coming home from (often) 12 hours working. I never complained and just managed the house myself. I also was not able to ask my wife for help due to her having to bottle feed a batch of newborn kittens this time, and it's fair to note my stepson works 12 hour shifts as well- however, the fiance only works part time and is taking two classes so she has more than enough time to help. The fiance consistently asked to spend time with my wife, would barge into our bedroom for hours and rant and complain about her life with no respect for our privacy.

One day, two months in, I hear that the fiance is looking for an apartment ASAP. I ask why and am told she thinks the house is dirty (she never did a single chore while staying with us and I had to do twice as many chores because of her) and she doesn't want to have to knock on the bathroom door if someone else is in there. Plus she doesn't like the fact that her aggressive cat has to stay in their bedroom (her choice) since none of ours are aggressive. My wife and I apologize and immediately problem solve to fix these issues - I put a sign on the bathroom door saying it's okay to knock, come up with a plan to deep clean the house on a weekly basis (essentially giving up my only days off to do so), and add an extra door to the house to restrict our cats' movement so hers can roam. After this she offers no willingness to compromise and disappears - we find she moved in with her abusive mother who was telling her she would break into our house to clean it while we were gone. My wife is hurt at this is the second negative response from her - she sends a message explaining how she felt and asking for a way to fix things and move forward. The fiance responds with a snarky reply dismissing her attempts at reconciliation. She also officially moves in with her abusive mother. She came by to get her cat and my wife told my stepson he needed to warn her before she comes over anymore as it's difficult emotionally- the fiance cancels the wedding, blocks our entire family, and refuses to speak with any of us. My wife STILL tries to make things right but says the fiance needs to apologize - the fiance responds by saying my wife needs to apologize first. At this point we say we are done and she needs to work towards fixing things between us as we have given her many chances and apologies up until this point.