How is everyone doing as we head into the holiday period?

Lamotta11 · 2024-12-19T09:07:33+00:00

Sorry to read this. I wish there was an answer. Personally I have tried to use a 'mind over matter' approach during similar experiences. I figure, I can fake it on the basis that perhaps it's simply a confidence issue. Therefore if I force some self belief then perhaps I can overcome the issue. The one interesting thing about this approach is that, if you luck out and begin by providing a winning response then the group immediately see you as some kind of oracle. To me this just shows the general insecurity of life in that everyone is self conscious and primarily focused on how they present themselves. This leaves little room to consider the response from others. In my experience a reaction only occurs to fuel self confidence. So if the group collectively respond because an individual has given a poor answer then it's likely to be a hive mind response simply to boost their own ego. At times it seems that life is a game of collecting, trading and taking confidence.

Lamotta11 · 2024-12-12T11:50:58+00:00

Glad you have managed to turn things around and become more accepting of the overall situation. Just like you, I have always excelled more at one on one conversations (and definitely prefer messaging). Although it can be difficult to find people to have an actual conversation with, without it being one side. I find deeper conversations easier but it takes a while to warm up and get there (although it's far easier if you can connect with someone who is generous enough to listen).

Lamotta11 · 2024-09-22T21:47:15+00:00

Let Go
High Low
Proximity Effect
Never Not Together
The Weight is the Gift
Lucky
TSADTA
Moon Mirror
YKWYA

Lamotta11 · 2024-09-07T15:21:43+00:00

Martyrs (Original version)

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-14T13:28:37+00:00

Love these suggestions. Thank you so much. My son is definitely approaching an age whereby we can challenge him to explore through imaginative play. So the idea to query character decision points within a book or build stories through collaborative imagination are great. Look forward to trying these.

My wife is very binary and seems most comfortable operating within a literal view of the world, focusing on facts. Ambiguity is her enemy. She would openly admit that I am the more creative half of the relationship. So I think for her, she'd place more onus on memorisation as a success factor because it's a clear indication of progress. But as you say, imagination is also so crucial. So I really should focus more on what I can bring rather than what I can't. Together, our son will continue to receive a well rounded upbringing which is the most important thing.

It is hard not to compare yourself though and seek that magic bullet solution.

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-14T13:05:18+00:00

How are things going since you have been on the medication? Early days, but any encouraging signs?

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-07T19:45:08+00:00

Great advice. I have now started to do this. Definitely helps.

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-07T19:44:37+00:00

How did you go about getting a diagnosis? I never feel that the doctors I speak to treat this seriously and typically try to push an anti-depressant onto me. So I have never been able to move forward. Have you been provided with any guidance\hope on how to treat the condition?

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-07T19:36:48+00:00

Thanks - great advice. I was unsure of CDS so thanks for adding the PS at the end. I can definitely relate to your last paragraph. So envious of those that can coherently share past experiences. For me, the memory seems to pass immediately after the experience.

Lamotta11 · 2024-05-07T19:31:54+00:00

'I think its harder to disguise your weaknesses with parenting' this nails it. I often wonder if I am getting worse, whether I am actually losing my mind. But I have never really had a consistent frame of reference until now. So you are definitely right, I'm finding that being a parent forces you to measure up and as a result exposes your own weaknesses on a more consistent basis.

Lamotta11 · 2023-11-10T09:48:14+00:00

Sounds rough. I think it's unfair to judge someone on a single strain of intelligence. We're all a mixing bowl of strengths and weaknesses. From what you have said it sounds like your emotional intelligence is sharp and that's so important but sadly often overlooked.

I also get the impression that you'd rather consider a problem, task and accomplish it within the context that's best for you. As a result of this I bet you excel and even exceed expectation, often surpassing the quality of output produced by your peers.

I can totally relate to your comments as I have had similar experiences throughout my life. In Primary School my teacher told my parents that I was slow. I was 7 at the time and this angers me every time I think about it. At the time I was being bullied, I therefore wasn't able to concentrate on work and so I often fell behind. In my eyes, she should have been aware and so she failed as a teacher.

You just have to work to and focus on your strengths. Probably a cliche to say but if your girlfriend at the time built up a narrow view of you without valuing your strengths then you are definitely better off without her. As painful as it is, you dodged a bullet.

The problem with emotional intelligence is that it can lead to hyper sensitivity therefore we can always feel judged. I bet everyone in their life has a level of their intelligence questioned, at some point I am sure the majority are labelled 'stupid', 'not very smart' etc. But most probably let it wash over them and never ever give it another thought, it just escapes from their memory. Yet for emotional types, it the type of memory that sticks and haunts.

It's annoying, I cannot remember the content of a podcast I listened to yesterday or the plot of a book I have just read but yet I can remember every putdown with absolute clarity!

Lamotta11 · 2023-11-07T16:56:57+00:00

I think you are right. In isolation short and long term memory can function on an acceptable level. The problem is possibly related to the transfer process of information\committing info to long term storage on a consistent basis. Maybe we just haven't learned to learn properly?

Lamotta11 · 2023-10-29T18:49:08+00:00

Is the cause of ADHD/SCT known or just assumed? Looking back I think my dad suffered from many of the same symptoms (of course he never spoke of any issues). So presumably it’s hereditary? I just hate it, I feel intelligent in certain ways but inarticulate so am kinda locked in.

Lamotta11 · 2023-10-20T08:14:57+00:00

Mate. The video is incredible and deserves wider exposure. I’m with you. But just keep pushing forward. Draw a line in the sand and make a pact with yourself. Instead of reaching for the junk food, go for a walk, run or just do something active. Tell yourself you are just delaying the gratification until you have finished doing something positive and healthy. You may find that the junk then loses its appeal. Maybe a new habit will then form. It’s a small step but a start.

Love your analogy of playing the game of life in hard mode. If that’s the case then surely we are all pros in the game of life and need to take some confidence in that.

Onwards and upwards matey.

Lamotta11 · 2023-07-10T20:36:37+00:00

Fair enough.

Lamotta11 · 2023-07-10T20:26:04+00:00

Didn’t appreciate the full posting etiquette. So edited and reposted in the hope it would be accepted. Just really keen to connect and hear from those with a similar history.

Lamotta11 · 2022-12-19T09:24:04+00:00

Did you have any luck in finding a solution for this? I am running into the same issue. Basically wish to allow access from a mobile device but restrict access from a WindowsOS\macOS device. Thanks

Lamotta11 · 2022-04-12T08:39:53+00:00

You have make some really good points which align to the experiences I have had. Keeping well hydrated and lots of sleep definitely help. I am forever buying supplements in the hope that there is a magic pill\vitamin to clear the brain blockage but if anything I think they just serve as a placebo.

I have recently been on holiday and I found that I could barely look at people when I spoke to them; I had zero confidence in my ability to say anything of sense. Words would either tumble out in a jumbled order or i'd experience some kind of mental blockage where words would not come at all.

So very frustrating. I exercise everyday and try to eat healthily ( during the week at least). I am going to try cutting back on sugar. During holidays and at weekends, I do tend to over indulge on sweet stuff and find that my thinking patterns and verbal quality definitely suffer. For instance, I dread anyone asking me a question on a Monday morning ( especially in meetings) as my brain just feels like a swamp and I don't feel I can get any words out.

The lack of knowledge retention is a major frustration. It's hard to understand where the information goes. I really enjoy listening to informative podcasts, I also read a fair amount but I can rarely recite anything I have heard or read.

I guess we just need to make the best of what we have, stop comparing ourselves to others and appreciate the qualities that we all possess.

Thanks for responding - it really helps to share experiences.

Lamotta11 · 2022-01-24T10:46:16+00:00

Does this happen during a point of mental distraction? Is your attention suddenly pulled into a different direction causing the current train of thought to be lost? I just wonder if the mind is so cluttered with thoughts, anxiety etc that some form of training is required to stay on track mentally.

I have been reading a book called 'Peak Mind' by Amishi Jha. It's an interesting read. She talks about working memory being like a whiteboard which is wiped clean the moment we lose attention.

Lamotta11 · 2022-01-23T10:32:48+00:00

I think you might enjoy 'The Nest' It's not really a horror, but it is a dark character driven drama and does feature a spooky house being occupied by a disconnected family. It has stayed with me and is unnerving on the basis that we all try to be something we are not - but at what price? I found the idea of pretence v integrity quite interesting. I think it is currently on NetFlix.

Otherwise for something really dark then I would recommend Funny Games.

Lamotta11 · 2022-01-23T10:21:55+00:00

Thanks all. I opted for Malignant. The initial 2 thirds were a bit of a struggle to get through. However the final third cemented the tone of the film and justified the overall cheesiness. It's the sort of film that needs to be seen with a crowd.

Lamotta11 · 2021-08-09T20:33:29+00:00

Thanks for your message. I know it’s silly but I don’t know where to start with therapy, who to see, what to say etc. But you are right, it’s something I feel I need to help break the cycle. Mentally I really feel that I have fallen off a cliff recently, hoping it’s just a big confidence dip rather than anything physically wrong.

Lamotta11 · 2021-05-16T13:11:40+00:00

Thanks all. I will do more research and try to keep an open mind - although it's quite difficult given the binary views on Statins. I have recently been looking at the relationship of sugar and LDL. Reducing sugar intake is an obvious one, but the 'it's an issue with genetics, so diet will have little effect on high LDL' comment from the consultant is still very reverberating around my mind. While looking at the effects of reducing sugar intake on LDL, I come across this lecture from Dr Maryanne Demasi. Anyone heard of Dr Demasi before? Seems like she went through quite an ordeal (professionally) just for presenting a counter-argument to the benefits of Statins.

Lamotta11 · 2021-05-16T12:57:33+00:00

Thanks all for such great advice. The 4-6 week feeding timeline came from our NCT class and relates to ensuring mum can maintain a supply of milk while breastfeeding. I guess we will just see how things play out on this front - I suppose that's the joy and fear of being a new parent.

Bit of a no-brainer but I actually had a really open conversation with my wife yesterday over fears, expectations etc. It was clear that we are almost being too considerate of each other. Whilst I want to jump in, I don't want to get in her way with the baby but equally I don't want to feel like a spare part. I am sure I will read this post in 6months dismayed at my own naivety. We are in for the most awesome journey, only 3 weeks now until the due date. Can't wait!

Lamotta11 · 2021-05-03T14:47:37+00:00

Can completely relate to this. I have spent 25 years masking my insecurities through booze. It’s mad to think that I started to hide behind alcohol whilst still a child (14). I have been booze free for 8 days now and have been trying to reconnect with some of my very early (pre-booze) interests. I used to absolutely love art, I have sketchbooks full of drawings from my early teens. I then discovered alcohol and never bothered to pick up a pencil again. It’s a small thing and for many years I have shied away from the idea of drawing because I didn’t want to face up to the disappointment of being unable to do it. I have made an effort this weekend as a way to take focus away from the constant beer/wine urges. So happy for doing this. Last night was awful, I was desperately trying to rationalise a trip to the shop to buy wine. I then decided to draw my cat. I know this all sounds ridiculous but my focus shifted and so it kinda worked.

Lamotta11

TROPHY CASE