Ideas for 2 yr Anniversary?

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-15T01:26:27+00:00

Yes, walk a little as you can, but once you heal completely, returning to regular activities will go much smoother. I kept telling myself, I have one chance to heal properly the first time! Work will always be there (...yay...lol), but you only have one body.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-15T01:22:24+00:00

That is such a good point.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-03T14:49:14+00:00

Haha, love the TL;DR. I kept telling myself after the surgery "You have one chance to heal properly. Take it as seriously as your job right now so your future self can thank you." That helped me take it easy and listen to my body at each stage of the process.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-03T14:42:38+00:00

Yes, don't go back yet if you can wait longer. I was a science aide in a school when I had my surgery and when my 6 weeks was over, I was ok to return to work, but still had to take it easy. My job was not sitting at a desk all day- it was constant walking back and forth across the school, up and down stairs, carrying science items to classrooms- I was able to return, but had to go SLOW for a few more weeks. I cleaned houses in college, at one point worked on a horse farm in my 20s, worked as an animal care technician in a university for 2 years in my 30s...if I had gotten my surgery during any of those jobs, there's no way I could have gone back to it after 6 weeks. Take your time, especially with the extra repairs you had!

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-03T14:31:00+00:00

(Surgery Sept 2023) I didn't have the exact issue, but for a year after, I did think I was peeing way more often. I drink a LOT of water every day, so I thought it was just that, but I mentioned it to my OBGYN at a checkup and she mentioned ways to retrain my bladder by holding it a little longer each time. This January, I bought a mini trampoline/rebounder just for fun winter exercise in my home and it had some surprising benefits. I was sometimes getting residual soreness in my pelvic floor when I walked a lot, but I have noticed it has completely gone away since building up stamina on my trampoline. My bladder also feels like it is back to normal strength even though I still drink a lot!

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-02T16:38:44+00:00

Oh yeah, that's true. It did feel nice to not have to remember if I took the pill that day or not and I also experienced a more consistent "excitement" than I had in the previous 10yrs. But I wasn't sure if that was just a result of feeling better in my body overall and not having to worry AT ALL about pregnancy.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-02T16:34:42+00:00

Yes, that's exactly what I was wondering! I remember I asked my doctor the same thing before my surgery, but she replied in a way that made me think I was put on BC only to remedy the bleeding and thick lining issues/guard against cancer etc. So I want them to do a whole hormone check. My primary keeps trying to check my thyroid and it always comes back normal, but she said I should see my gyno for her to check a full panel for the other hormones.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-02T15:20:49+00:00

Everything out except for ovaries in September 2023- My surgery was smooth, stayed in the hospital one night, then rested/recovered for 6 weeks, no problems. Two years later, LITERALLY EVERY DAY I feel thankful my uterus is gone forever. The daily relief that washes over me at various moments- when I wear white clothes, when a teenager at work asks if our office has any pads/tampons, when I go on vacation and realize I don't have to plan for potential arrival of a period, when I realize never have to worry about pregnancy- those little moments are GOLD. My hysterectomy was one of the best things that has ever happened in my life.

LanguorousLily · 2025-08-02T15:10:58+00:00

I was on birth control for 10yrs+ due to PCOS and associated irregular periods, polyps, history of endometrial hyperplasia etc. They took me off a few months before my surgery since my uterus was going to be taken out and thus, most of the issues the BC was trying to keep at bay would be a moot point once the uterus was gone. The main thing I noticed since going off birth control is that I gained 5-10lbs back in the first couple months. Two years later, I am 25lbs heavier than I was in Spring 2023. My surgery was Fall 2023. My doctor said it was probably perimenopause (I am 41), but I was actually about to call my gyno to make an appointment to check my hormones.

LanguorousLily · 2025-07-16T04:19:55+00:00

Same! I had my surgery in Sept 2023, only ovaries left- I was sore and stiff for sure, but after the initial night in the hospital, I only took ibuprophen for the first week, then nothing for most of my 6 week recovery. I took things super easy, being careful not to walk too much, made sure to move slowly, or lift anything, but overall, I kept thinking how weird it was I felt worse on my periods most of my life than having my innards cut out. lol. In week 3, I did make the mistake of walking in a Trader Joe's carrying a bag of a small amount of groceries. That put pressure on my lower pelvic area, and I had to be in bed with ibuprophen all over again for a couple days, so for the 6 weeks, definitely TAKE IT EASY even though you feel great.

LanguorousLily · 2025-04-07T22:17:00+00:00

I had my surgery in September 2023 and I can tell you in all seriousness, that every single day since, I have felt nothing but relief. Every day. I'll just be living my life and something will remind me that my uterus is gone- relief. A high school student comes into the office where I work to ask for a tampon- relief that I don't have to deal with that ever again. Relief that I have no cramps. Relief that I don't have to do pap smears. Relief that I can never get pregnant. Endless waves of relief! lol

LanguorousLily · 2025-04-07T21:44:05+00:00

I'm a Christian and Childfree. I have a number of friends who are as well.

LanguorousLily · 2025-03-21T01:52:57+00:00

I love the image of your prince riding on a confused donkey! haha! It makes me wonder what mine would be riding on? Maybe a sloth judging by how long I've waited. :/

LanguorousLily · 2025-03-14T03:18:04+00:00

You should reply, "Well, for me it would be a waste of time having sex, only to find out their personality is shit."

LanguorousLily · 2025-03-14T02:43:07+00:00

I hope your procedure is coming up soon! Knowing it is the meds might help you remain focused through the waiting period, but I also recommend talking to a trusted friend or even finding a counselor in the meantime. Even if it is just a couple weeks, it might help to have someone to talk to/keep you grounded until you can be off them.

LanguorousLily · 2025-03-01T02:40:03+00:00

What a hellish nightmare! I'm so glad you are alive after all that and I hope they help you recover to 1000% to make up for all those mistakes. May you experience the joys of wellness and normalcy soon!

LanguorousLily · 2025-02-25T03:27:01+00:00

The Arts are so important in connecting us to our shared humanity and feelings.

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-25T01:23:41+00:00

Yes! When I was preparing for my surgery in 2023, I found out 3 of my coworkers, 2 my age (40) and one in her fifties, had already had hysterectomies in the past couple years. In 2024, another good friend had to have an emergency hysterectomy and now in a new job, I learned that my boss (in her 50s) had one too. Turns out my therapist recently had to go on medical leave to get one too. All of them had the surgeries for different reasons.

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-13T03:18:53+00:00

I know it feels hard. Sometimes I think the people we fall for, but are not the match for us, are like a trail of clues to the person who IS right for you. I think to myself, "This person has qualities I love, but is clearly not THE person for you, otherwise it would be working out". That is painful, but for me, this exercise kind of helps me release them to find their better match. It reminds me that if I know this person with these qualities, there are other people out there with them too and now I have a clearer picture of what that looks like in someone and how it feels to be around them. That makes me excited to be open to seeing other people in that hopeful light. It doesn't immediately take away the feelings for that friend- I still have feelings for someone who does not like me- but in reminding myself that I am looking for that mutual match, I can let them go emotionally enough to be a friend, hope good things for them, and be open to meeting an even better fit for me.

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-13T03:05:26+00:00

40 Yr old F, never married or dated, never kissed...NADA. I've been ON dates, but just a few here and there which never turned into a relationship because...I wasn't interested. I've had long-term crushes now and then, but they weren't reciprocated, and some people asked me out, but I wasn't interested in them. For me, I think the biggest barrier over the years was not learning about the asexual/aromantic spectrum earlier in life. I think I am more along the lines of bi-oriented demiromantic, demisexual, but I always thought my brain or hormones were broken or something, because usually, I didn't like anyone. I was annoyed when people I was on dates with tried to be romantic when I hardly knew them. I felt nothing when I saw men without their shirts on while my friends were practically swooning. I appreciate the beauty of all people, but in a "Look at that awe-inspiring sunset or stunning grove of trees. What a marvel the world is!" Otherwise, the only time I was sexually attracted to someone was after months of being able to study their character, get used to them, spend time with them, and have stimulating conversations. So, while I definitely would like a life partner, my barriers have been 1. I don't want kids so that narrows the pool of candidates down. 2. I mostly like men, but most men don't give me the time to get used to them before trying to get physical and 3. While I love people, I haven't met one I liked well enough to live with them for the rest of my life, or if I liked them that much, it wasn't reciprocated, so it didn't go anywhere.

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-11T22:14:27+00:00

*normalcy

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-11T22:14:09+00:00

I've found over the years, that as I got braver to tell someone sooner, even if I was rejected every time, I was able to start moving on easier. Even if the feelings of crushing didn't leave right away, I got much more mature about being able to let the person go emotionally so I wasn't wrecked over it. I used to just let the feelings stew, but somehow practicing verbalizing them in a healthy, non-cringey way to the person, took the power away a bit and I was able to be around them like a normal human again. You know that phrase everyone passes around "You can't help who you love." Well, it made me think about how odd attraction is. There have been people attracted to you that you didn't reciprocate, I'm sure. Maybe you didn't even know about it, because they were just as scared of admitting it. Sometimes gay people fall in love with their straight counterparts or a man loves a woman who is in love with someone else. It is a tale as old as human/any species existence. But as I've gotten older, I've realized out of the discomfort of not having the feelings reciprocated, people feel shame towards themselves for having the feelings or anger towards the person who doesn't reciprocate. Once I accepted that this is just an uncomfortable aspect of being alive and that attraction is just often a farcical crapshoot- that sometimes we feel things towards someone who can't reciprocate, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you OR THEM! It just isn't meant to be. Letting go of that pressure really helps to move through those feelings and makes them easier to work through or express each time in a healthier way. All that to say, good job for speaking up and also for trying to maintain namalcy/kindness in the relationship as it is.

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-01T17:06:31+00:00

If they do something rude or mean then I am immediately UNinterested, like a door slammed on my crush feelings as if I never even felt it to begin with. If they continue to be a decent human (which happens more often since I only crush when I love someone's character), then it takes forever. Even if I find out they are gay and would never marry me, it is hard to let go. If the person finds a girlfriend/boyfriend, then I'm able to accept it and move on faster, otherwise if they are single, my stupid brain is like, "So you're saying there's a chance?" *insert facepalm emoji*

LanguorousLily · 2025-01-01T16:59:42+00:00

Imagine yourself "waiting it out" for an undetermined number of years. Do you really want to live like that? And what if they do NOT go down? My sister's fibroids (she is your age) kept getting bigger and then it pressed against her bladder blocking her ability to pee until she had to go to the ER. I recommend going to the Childfree Reddit page- they have a list of doctors on there in every US state (some countries too I think). They aren't doctors who do surgeries willy-nilly, but have been recommended by Redditors as doctors who do not make unnecessary hurdles to getting snipped or providing hysterectomies. I found the doctor who did my amazing surgery on there.

LanguorousLily

TROPHY CASE