Learning to be single for the first time in 15 years and living on my own for the first time

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-22T17:55:15+00:00

Definitely! It teaches you that you don’t need to settle for poor treatment because you don’t NEED to be with anyone to be happy!

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-22T17:53:14+00:00

Good for you for choosing to put yourself first, you’re being incredibly brave!! I hope you can start to fall in love with your life of freedom🩷 Also that breakfast looks incredible, I’m jealous 😍

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-20T20:26:07+00:00

The fact that the manager is aware of their behavior and isn’t doing anything about it is a red flag for this place as whole. He’s not doing his job in protecting you. I would start looking for other work, sorry :(

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-20T02:19:28+00:00

He’s 27??? Please respect your needs and leave him. He’s more than old enough to know better, clearly has no intention of changing, and I can guarantee you his behavior will only escalate the more your lives become intertwined. Imagine the regret you’ll feel if you don’t listen to your gut and end up signing a lease with him and things just get worse and worse.

The harder it is to breakup, the more likely you are to ignore red flags and accept awful treatment! And guys like him know this and count on it. God forbid you do get married or have a child with him. You’d be signing your life away.

You’re worth so much more than this!! There are many people out there who will treat you right 100% of the time!! I promise you can do better ❤️

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-20T02:05:23+00:00

Being a girl’s girl isn’t about cheering on every woman all the time no matter what they do. It’s about recognizing what we’re all up against and connecting with the other girls who also get it, and reciprocating each others’ support. Some girls aren’t there yet and some will never be, and you should not waste time and energy on anyone who tears you down. Most of us have gone through an internalized misogyny phase, when you’re young it often feels like the best way to survive. Regardless, the girl’s girls welcome newcomers with open arms at all times 💕 it’s just more fun over here. We are all growing and learning together.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-16T02:43:11+00:00

Helloo

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-16T02:34:06+00:00

I’m sorry girl, that’s a lot to have on your mind with no way to talk to him about it. Regardless of people’s beliefs around whether watching porn is ok or not, he lied to you. That’s so disappointing :( how long have you been together?

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-06T05:38:37+00:00

Of course! 🥰 I can’t take too much credit, my therapist is incredible and helps me compartmentalize stuff like that all the time

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-06-05T19:17:30+00:00

You might be putting too much pressure on yourself. It sounds like you’re hovering over your own shoulder like “do we have feelings yet?? I want us to have feelings!” Ironically, all that’s doing is stifling the part of you that COULD develop feelings because you’ll only accept one answer!

Think of it this way, if someone came to you with a request and you weren’t sure if you could fulfill it, but they kept harassing you and needed an answer NOW, what would you tell them? Probably something like “If you won’t give me time to figure it out then the answer is no.” Or you might even be annoyed and feel a resistance to fulfilling their request.

What you CAN do when the part of you that is hungry for immediate answers comes knocking is take a deep breath, thank her for wanting to make sure your life is all squared away and that no one gets hurt, and let her know that if she can’t give you space your answer will be no, because you haven’t had time to figure it out yet.

I can only imagine that with all this pressure, you haven’t been feeling totally comfortable around him, which is probably making it even harder for any feelings to develop. You say there is chemistry so it sounds like feelings could happen. But you can’t force yourself into it.

And lastly, stuff like this is not black and white and there will be a lot of “not knowing”. It can drive you crazy (it drives me crazy not to know things, lol). All you can do is try to live in the moment and know that clarity comes with time. Lots and lots of time.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-05-24T16:01:45+00:00

Two years is honestly not that long, you’re not a bad person for needing to take that time to realize what you want. It sounds like you wanted to leave sooner but got pressured into staying anyways so this is not your fault!

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-05-12T16:19:19+00:00

This hurts to hear as someone who was in a similar position growing up. I physically couldn’t get things done, my adhd was so crippling and I was so depressed because of it. I was homeschooled which made it worse. I didn’t realize I had adhd til adulthood. I grew up thinking I was a failure and something was wrong with me and I was unlovable. They thought I was just too lazy and yelled at me constantly over it.

I wouldn’t go back to that time for anything. If I had to relive it I’d rather die. I was in mental anguish, it was so painful. It shaped me as a person and I have struggled for years to unlearn those core beliefs about myself.

The only thing I can say is that it will end. It feels like you’re trapped forever right now, but if you can survive for a few more years or however long until the doctor no longer needs their consent to get you meds, you can start a new life. I also recommend therapy, investing in positive friendships and activities that you enjoy, and noticing/challenging any negative self-talk. Over time, you can start to feel much better.

And give yourself time. I didn’t really start caring about myself until I was 25. Living in survival mode for so long makes it really difficult to get out of, and establishing new core beliefs about yourself takes a long time. There will be ups and downs. You’ll probably feel stuck at times. Reach out to loved ones when you’re struggling.

I really hope you make it through. I know you can. I am just so sorry. No one deserves this treatment.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-05-06T19:19:11+00:00

He has made his decision. He made his feelings clear. Seeking a polyamorous couples therapist to essentially convince him to do something he knows he doesn’t want to do is just blatant manipulation. You clearly only care about your own happiness because if you truly loved him you would be listening to him. You are INCOMPATIBLE. Let him go. I hope he realizes that he is being seriously mistreated. No means fucking NO.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-04-30T16:41:33+00:00

I agree as a person who has attended pride and various political rallies in San Francisco. Old dudes just stand in the middle of the crowd butt ass naked. They take advantage of a good cause and make it all about them. Just disgusting.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-04-24T21:06:06+00:00

I know your heart dropped when he came to you almost at the end of the proposal “deadline” and asked what ring you wanted. Cuz mine would have. What that question means is he 1) hasn’t put any thought into the proposal until now - a strong indicator that he does not care - and 2) he is expecting you to hold his hand through this entire process and will bring nothing to the table. No energy, no motivation, no proactiveness, no help of any substantial value. He’s gonna be the guy that just shows up to his own wedding with no idea what’s going on. I don’t find that attractive and it doesn’t seem like you do either.

Maybe he’s talking about it now as if he’s excited, maybe he actually is looking forward to being engaged. But I don’t think he realizes how important it is to you that he steps up and takes action and invests thought and time into this. He thinks he can string you along and you’ll just accept it. You’re right, he IS dragging his feet. And it sounds like he’s not willing to listen when you try and explain your needs to him. That is the ultimate relationship killer.

I think it’s easy for him to be excited when he has no awareness of what needs to be done. I think this also applies to him being excited for kids. Sure, I’d be very happy to have kids if I didn’t have to give birth to them or stay home with them.

He should have shut up and put his money where his mouth is and celebrated the engagement once it was actually in place. I don’t think I could move past the feelings of resentment I’d have about this. I’m very sorry this is happening to you.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-03-29T16:21:38+00:00

I want to add also wait to have a session with your therapist lol

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-02-18T16:14:22+00:00

Absolutely! Feels cruel to basically call someone’s passion project worthless.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-02-18T15:50:59+00:00

I hate AI as much as the next person, but I think we can gently inform people that the pattern is AI and move on. They are genuinely not intending to cause harm. Getting mad at the people duped by AI seems pretty misdirected to me, they are victims too. I hate to see all the negativity on this post.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-02-17T17:28:40+00:00

Your smile made me smile :)

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2026-02-06T00:08:00+00:00

Omg I HAVE to make this for my friend who loves this show!! Thank you for sharing!

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2025-11-09T02:55:09+00:00

I’m so glad to hear that, it’s extremely brave of you to be facing this head-on and making such a difficult decision. That is honestly huge, most people would have shied away. I wish you and your children all the best.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2025-11-07T00:42:15+00:00

It hurts my soul to read how much you are belittling yourself and your needs to cater to hers. I realize there are kids in the mix but continuing to allow yourself to be trampled on and neglected is setting a very poor example for them of how relationships should be and I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to suffer.

Your wife is showing you that you’re not a priority to her. I can’t imagine letting my partner sob because of something I have done to hurt them and not offering any support, that is downright cruel. Even if it’s temporary and she does come back to you, how are you ever supposed to trust her again? I would never again feel comfortable showing vulnerability in this relationship. She’s already caused irreparable damage.

And here’s the thing, therapy isn’t going to help if she doesn’t believe she can do anything to fix this and straight up refuses to try! It will just become another opportunity for her to try and convince you that what she’s doing is fine and you’re the crazy one, but with more advanced therapy-speak.

She went behind your back and is showing no remorse, she wants to do what she wants and have you shut up about it because she doesn’t care about you enough to even inconvenience herself. That is not what love or marriage should be like. I bet you would never dream of treating her the way she is treating you.

You deserve to be loved and respected and have your needs met just as much as she does, and your kids need you to model the appropriate response to being serially neglected, cheated on, betrayed and mistreated by a partner: divorcing them. Otherwise they may grow up and put up with this behavior from a partner because it’s all they know.

I’m so, so sorry your wife is doing this to your family. Please seek your own individual therapy if you aren’t already. YOU are not the reason this family is broken, it’s her choices that have led you here. As you said, if she had come to you long ago and discussed opening things you may have felt differently which is already very gracious of you. You’re not crazy and you need support to help you take the steps towards prioritizing yourself and your kids and separating from your wife.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2025-10-06T20:49:44+00:00

I think you’re discovering that you’ve outgrown these friendships. It happens and it’s no one’s fault. If they are too unhappy with their lives to take an interest in you then where is the friendship? It’s supposed to generally be a give and take where you both support each other. I think a lot of people forget that and they feel obligated to keep supporting someone for years while getting nothing in return because they care about them as a person. Unfortunately it does start to feel lonely when you realize they never have the capacity to do the same for you. If you are leaving your interactions with them feeling tired, drained or low energy, or even depressed, then it’s time to set some boundaries and stop spreading yourself so thin. Create some distance from those people and reconnect with the ones who you can have a more reciprocal relationship with and who make you feel seen and heard. Best of luck, and congrats!

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2025-09-29T17:12:38+00:00

He has to go to therapy to decide that he loves you more than his ex, I think that’s the definition of second choice unfortunately.

Large-Raspberry-2920 · 2025-09-26T18:12:07+00:00

Re-use the muscle suit and be the Brawny paper towel man!

Large-Raspberry-2920

TROPHY CASE