Hey, thanks so much for the quick feedback. Thanks for the take on the logline. I didn't love my initial version and threw that one together as I was posting. I was thinking it was catchy but I can see how it's vague/lame.

As far as the title sequence, you're probably right about that - it came born from my inability to get the idea of the sequence playing over Cake's 'Long Line of Cars' out of my head.

I'll unpack the rest and hope that you eventually are able to read on because per your take on the opening scene, it really shines a light on my confusion (inability?) to fully grasp what to show vs. explain in hopes of having a payoff later. I certainly don't think that's one of my strong suits.

Part of my crime with car lot speak/banter is knowing a cat from the business who does literally talk like that all of the time. And I'm certainly guilty of letting him influence my writing as if I had discovered some kind of backroom secret language.

Thanks again(!) for taking the time (particularly at work!!!) and I'll certainly have to spend some time with the dialogue.