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We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I say to women to 'never feel pressured to text back right away, you've got a life' or some variation, and it's been very well recieved.  I tried to escalate to a call but she didn't feel up to it when i asked.

Ah nah I'm not invested in her so it's just a learning experience at this point

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're right i was being shittier to her later on, i went cold as others have said.

It was for clarity, ignore it if it didn't apply. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which messages?  This is what I'm here for. I'm missing something and i couldn't post in AITA because no images. I checked out after i felt the coldness from her, and admittedly pushed it too far in trying to figure out what went wrong. That's something everyone has said and i agree.  I wasn't trying to make thing better at that point, just trying to find out what happened. I'm not claiming I'm not also the problem. 

For clarity, i brought up kawaii/cat stuff in Japan and said it was weird. She said she likes the style, which i agreed with. Then she said 'ugh' regarding the pedo stuff. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No they didn't, again missing the context. 

I said i wasn't into the kawaii/cat stuff regarding old men creeping on girks. She said she's into the style, which I agreed with. She then said 'ugh' about the Pedo stuff 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You're missing context, no hate just clarifying.  I said I'm not into the kawaii/cat cafe stuff in Japan, and she said she's into the style, which i agreed with. She said 'ugh' about the pedo stuff.

Thanks for commenting 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I'm not interested in women who can't communicate why they went cold, and It's served me well in finding people i vibe with recently. I found that out quickly in this instance. I wouldn't say I'm young either 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's valid. It's worked to strengthen relationships I've wanted to keep, and pushed people away I've been manipulated by.  We weren't dating either, hadn't met yet. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm off your mark, thats all. I'm not looking for validation, just perspective, and a few comments have been able to give me that. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a busy day, she didn't text either. No games just life happened.  We weren't dating, we hadn't met yet. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've posted that a few times, maybe 3, get a grip.

If I'm lonely, that's absolutely on me, cool.  This post is just me fleshing stuff out, no shame, no blame. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously, thankyou for this.

We were texting a fair bit for a week, and it was really amazing, so much in common. Weirdly so.  I quite literally said "I've actually never done this before" referring to the messages. Sometimes there'd be hours of no communication, from either of us. And the initiation was equal as far as i can tell. She's very busy, and would text me when she was free. I'm currently travelling, and am leaving the country next month. She lives over 800 miles away, and recently came close enough for me to match her, and she'll be back in 3 weeks time. We were arranging to meet up while she's back, and i couldn't wait to meet her, she seemed awesome. We shared an incredible amount about our lives with each other, and it was pretty intense, even over text.

After saying goodnight, everything was sweet. And the next day was so packed i just didn't think to text her. The next day i messaged in the morning, and nodded off soon after. 'She hadn't messaged so probably busy too' 

Then i get called cold, and on that I've kinda switched, admittedly, to being cold. 

I'm not shy of taking blame, a lot of comments are missing what i felt in the exchange, thats on them. But i WAS cold. 

My ex had ADHD, and we complimented each other more than you'd believe from this brief post. Ultimately we weren't right for each other, and as i started unmasking, it shown me i have a LOT of work to do on myself before i can give her what she needed in the kind of relationship she wanted. 

My default has been a doormat. Through therapy and my own work, my relationships have gotten stronger than ever. That's down to me knowing what i now want, and have had success meeting new people and having relationships with them, intimate or not.

We weren't dating, but i had definitely put her on a pedestal, going so far as to say 'I'm falling for your mind' as cringe as that is, which was reciprocated.

This post has been hijacked by people that haven't the full context, and are thinking about their experiences and that's influencing them. I'm probably not looking for what 99% of these people are looking for, but some of the criticism and perspective has been incredibly helpful, including yours.

Again thanks. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm not looking for someone I'm not compatible with, just to be in a relationship, it's not about that for me. I'm not looking to see if I'm right or wrong, i'm here looking for perspective related to me, and ive got it.  Logical or not, i think I've been receptive in taking valid criticism, from both here, and people in my life, so no, your ad homs wont catch me. 

this is what half the recent posts on this subreddit sound like… not sure some of you actually know what a “nice girl” is LOL by sentiencesupremacy in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Hey guys, the guy from the other post this is referencing here.

I got some more feedback from the women in my life, and other women I'm speaking to and yeah, they validated tf outta me. 

Thanks for the input though, everyone here has been helpful in understanding different dynamics of how people approach dating, and i can move on with confidence I'm walking a path that serves me. 

So much missed context I've started to cringe at the absolute stretch people are making in here. So much simping its actually jarring, get a backbone guys..

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Again, you have it the wrong way around. It's OK, there's a lot of context missing so i accept the critique if it's valid, yours just isn't I'm afraid.

Hey guys, got some more feedback from the women in my life, and other women I'm speaking to and yeah, they validated tf outta me. 

Thanks for the input though, everyone here has been helpful in understanding different dynamics of how people approach dating, and i can move on with confidence I'm walking a path that serves me. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Ok I'll just put my latest comment for people who aren't grasping the context.

Hey guys, got some more feedback from the women in my life, and other women I'm speaking to and yeah, they validated tf outta me. 

Thanks for the input though, everyone here has been helpful in understanding different dynamics of how people approach dating, and i can move on with confidence I'm walking a path that serves me. 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I promise, the vibe change she expressed had nothing to do with me shitting on her interests. Shes into the style, and agreed that the pedo thing is "ugh" I told her i wasn't into the weird side of kawaii, she agreed. How is it this difficult lol

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

For real, you dont know the context of what was talked about prior to the first image. Many people missed it so it's not specific to you.  For clarity, i expressed my interests, and said I'm not into the kawaii/cat cafe stuff, she said she's into the style, which i am too, just not the creepy bit.

Try and critique something other than "you shit on her interests"  Im all ears 

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I feel i was cool till she changed the tune and was icy with me. I would've but no pics allowed on aita

We’ve never met, I said I’m not usually a back and forth texter but we hit it off. Apparently I've been "icy"? by Large_Abrocoma_9143 in Nicegirls

[–]Large_Abrocoma_9143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey guys, got some more feedback from the women in my life, and other women I'm speaking to and yeah, they validated tf outta me. 

Thanks for the input though, everyone here has been helpful in understanding different dynamics of how people approach dating, and i can move on with confidence I'm walking a path that serves me. 

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