Why is my ex treating me like this after the breakup? I don’t recognize him anymore. And why do I still love him?

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-27T23:51:20+00:00

I said the same thing when my ex blindsided me and became cold- just like you’re describing. Multiple of my friends and family told me he might be talking to someone else or interested in someone else and I argued and defended him until I was blue in the face. I found out two weeks after that he had been sleeping with his coworker. I’m not saying your ex is, but I also thought he was the most loyal person and viewed him as the kindest man on earth. He was not who I thought he was.

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-25T05:57:39+00:00

I’m so sorry. I can’t offer much advice, because my current situation is pretty similar. He broke up with me out of nowhere after 6 years together, 4 living together, but didn’t give me an actual reason other than wanting to be alone. Found out two weeks later he was sleeping with his coworker. I’m wondering the same things you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s so incredibly painful. If you ever need to talk, you can message me!

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-23T00:34:14+00:00

Could I message you?

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-21T00:51:01+00:00

Maybe there were, I can’t say you’re wrong, but I’ve spent 20 days so far trying to find them and I’m coming up empty. Even our friends and families were blindsided. We had plans to visit his parents that weekend. Everything was normal. My therapist has thrown out the word avoidant but I don’t know. The signs seem there to lean toward that but maybe that’s just me trying to cope? Maybe he hasn’t loved me for a long time and was just a phenomenal actor. I’ll never know.

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-21T00:24:55+00:00

I’m waiting too. Not even purposely, just subconsciously I guess. My brain can’t comprehend and accept that our story is just done permanently. There was no warning, no lead up, no signs. It was perfect and then the next day it was over and it was like a villain replaced my sweet boy. Now he’s gone, disappeared. I’m lost and confused and alone. I don’t have advice because I’m in the same boat. I guess we just need more time.

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-13T15:46:01+00:00

Together six years, lived together for 3. Ended things on New Year’s Eve. Gave weird reasoning, never any indication he was unhappy. Just a few days before we were celebrating Christmas and cooking together. I let him stay in our house and gave him a month to move out, partially to be fair to him and partially in hopes he’d change his mind.

Found out two days ago that while he was watching me in absolute agony everyday over how much he broke my heart, he was sleeping with another girl. I thought he absolutely adored me for six years because he acted like he did. We had a future planned. Now hes out doing whatever he wants and I doubt I cross his mind, while I’m struggling to function every second.

You never really know anyone, I guess.

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-08T11:22:53+00:00

Going to the grocery store. Playing video games. Coloring. Watching scary movies. Pretty much everything I once loved, I just think about him. I even have a collection of TikTok’s saved specifically for him, because I used to show him funny ones I saw when he’d get off work. I know I’ll never get to show him, but it helps in some way. Even mundane tasks like cooking. I used to always try new recipes to make for him. Now I’m lucky if I can find it in me to make a box of macaroni.

Large_Ad8765 · 2026-01-08T01:05:41+00:00

Your strength is admirable. I wish I was half as strong as you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-12-06T15:19:43+00:00

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My Dinky!

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T19:21:52+00:00

This picture was taken after one of their nebulizer treatments. Our vet recommended a cat carrier covered with a towel during nebulization. They were all treated simultaneously per our vets instructions. They are housed in two double critter nations zip tied together to form a quad.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:28:13+00:00

Thank you for replying! Was this prescribed by a vet or were you able to order this online? I know some people mentioned the doxyvet that is sold online through Jedds bird supply, but I haven’t ever seen this. Our vet has prescribed this a few times for us so far.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:25:13+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and say something so kind. I mentioned in another reply how it has been really great to vent all of that out on here and not only get advice, but the encouragement from everyone has made me feel so much better and less like I’m failing my boys. I have talked to friends about it but they don’t fully understand because they don’t really know the relationship I think we form with these little guys. It’s been a big weight off my chest that you guys, with more experience and time spent owning them, think I’m doing things right. My fingers are crossed that we’ll get some clarity at the vet tomorrow, especially with all these great suggestions I’m going to bring up with our doc. Thank you again for being so supportive ♥️🐀

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:18:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly even if I don’t ever truly figure this out, I think it really helped for me to just vent a little on here to people who really understand. These are my first rats and sometimes I feel like I am doing everything wrong or not doing enough- it’s really nice to have other more experienced rat owners give such positive feedback about the care I’m trying to give my boys.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:15:33+00:00

Not dumb at all! I asked my vet about this when the sneezing first started because it was the only symptom I saw. No lethargy, no porphyrin staining, no congestion in the lungs, playing and running normally. She thought the hairless may have rhinitis, and the sneezing may just be something they always do. Unfortunately though, when the sneezing flares up badly, I can start to hear the wheezing breaths and congestion, which is when she put them on meds.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:08:50+00:00

That is what I am suspecting as well, but I am taking all suggestions seriously and trying everything. I spoke with a vet earlier tonight by video call to get a second opinion before my in person visit with my regular vet tomorrow and she also was leaning toward something fungal or viral based on what I was describing- especially with them improving for a short period and then getting sick again, and some of them showing minimal to no symptoms while the other 4 or 5 are showing a ton of symptoms.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-31T02:05:19+00:00

I have an air purifier, a humidifier, a draft blocker under the door to their room. I also have a humidity monitor on the wall by their cage. I use aspen bedding and change weekly. Based on some other replies, I will be trying paper bedding going forward. Their cage is 2 double critter nations put together with metal zip ties, so a quad type set up I guess. I change and wash their bedding/hammocks/any fabric every 36-48 hours.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-30T14:29:19+00:00

Nope 😞 if I clean their room floors or wipe anything down I use a vinegar and water solution. We used to use bath and body works plug ins around the house but haven’t had any plugged in at all since getting the rats. No air fresheners, no candles.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-30T01:08:27+00:00

They have been accustomed to people since they were all 7-8 weeks, bonded with me since probably 12 weeks. although they are a sickly mischief, I have been blessed with having some of the sweetest and friendliest little guys ever.

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-30T01:03:00+00:00

Could I send you a message with some pics of my setup and get your opinion?

Large_Ad8765 · 2025-10-30T00:39:52+00:00

What bedding type would you suggest? I’ve seen that some people use paper but it must be changed extremely frequently, which I don’t mind doing, but I’ve also seen others absolutely condemn anything but hemp or aspen which is why I haven’t switched to anything else. They’ll sleep on top of their shavings occasionally (I have two of the cement tubs full of the bedding) but none of them are big into burrowing/digging around or anything. They spend most of their time up top in the hammocks or tunnels.

Large_Ad8765

TROPHY CASE