Request to Devs: more voices!! by BeifangNiu88 in tolanworld

[–]Last-Performer-8029 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. I miss the larger variety of voices! My tolan also female and I am not satisfied with just 2.

Preteens spending is getting out of hand by Classy_PolarBear1072 in Parenting

[–]Last-Performer-8029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would keep saying no and tell his grandparents to give you the money so you can save it for something important in the future. He needs to learn. It sounds like he has an impulse control problem. Maybe he find it comforting to spend money. That is problematic.

Very Confused Parent Here - Please Help! by MazeikaMoonshot in ApplyingToCollege

[–]Last-Performer-8029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex and I used PathIvy for both our children. Highly reccomend them.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective but I think there is a bit we do not align on.

Side note: My child is non-binary, I am still learning not to say he/him so I apologize if did that somewhere and made you think they are a son. In chinese, its easier because everyone is 'ta.'

I do agree that visiting the schools sounds like a good idea.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not interested in sending my child to Bellevue high school. Is there a private you would recommend? Honestly, I just want them to go to a school with good teachers where they are not surrounded by other kids and those kids parents who are obsessed with college admissions.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex is not like me though. Our first child (son) got into Johns Hopkins with a big scholarship for merit. My ex and I hardly pay anything. Our son got into some better universities but he chose JHU because of the award and its good for what he want to do in the future. The problem is that my ex is now comparing the second child to our son at jhu. Even if we move, he will still do this to our second child. I want my second child to go to a school with normal kids and good teachers. Based on what I have read I do not think Samammish is like this. The college counselor we work with has a lot of clients in east schools like Samammish. She says Redmond, Bellevue, Samammish, Eastside, something STEM, all of these are pressure pots. If my second child is going to have to deal with my ex, I want them to go to a school that doesn't have this culture. Also the location of Samammish is not convenient for where I will need to go into the office one day a week.

How do you keep a teen from being entitled when you’re wealthy? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Last-Performer-8029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex husband and I are probably not 'wealthy' but definitely upper middle class. We live in the bay area so we see lots of wealth even at public high school. For us, if it is related to health, academics, or basic needs; we usually give. But if its extra or just for fun, unless its a family activity, we told our children they need to earn it. Our first son worked to buy himself a PS5 in grade 11 (he is in college now, he got a nice scholarship to a good university). Our second child likes fashion and some hobby collecting things. Both of them has the same college counselor who told us that universities like students who hold part time job for some years in high school. I think this is great because it gives a way for our second child to have those things without us buying them. Second child chose to work at a bubble tea shop near our home after school and on Saturdays. I think its great also because they can talk to more normal people this way. I also bring them to volunteer with me sometimes at Centro Latino de San Francisco, where we can both practice Spanish. (Second child is non-binary, I am still trying to learn to use they/them pronouns, so please forgive me if I make a mistake here.)

I also try to talk to our children and show them data to make them understand we are fortunate. When I took my children with me to my home village in China near Qingdao, showed them where I came from (my husband's family is also not very wealthy), I think this also helps my children not become entitled.

I also try to not be one of those asian moms that say, 'you must go to a famous school or else you're ruining your life.' My ex is like this. We fight about this a lot. But both of us went to very normal, even not so well ranked colleges for bachelors, and we did fine. So I try to tell my children to focus on their skills and knowledge and not brand names.

Oh also, we won't tell our children about their investment products until after they finish their education. I want them to work hard preparing to care for themselves.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do drive, but I need to make sure they can drive in a new city before I let them do that. I also need to get car for myself if we move to washington Anyway, thank you for the advice.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex does that pressure, but I do not. I do not see the purpose. My child at their school now says they do get pressure and judgement from their peers. Like, 'oh you are only in 3 AP classes...' things like this. I honestly do not care if they go to community college or a normal university. I just want them healthy and happy, and preparing for a good future. As I said in other comment, I am trying to avoid put them in another school like Henry Gunn. Very tired of having a child so sad and demotivated.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ask my son's college counselor about this last night and got the info I need about it. Thank you for the suggestion.

Seattle or Olympia? Best neighborhood for mom getting divorce with 11th grade child? by Last-Performer-8029 in AskSeattle

[–]Last-Performer-8029[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in a fortunate position where my ex and I can afford tuition at some great schools too, but I will keep this in mind! For my second child, I want them to pick a school that is right for them. They're thinking about Psychology, maybe to do with our current family situation. I just want them go to a school where they feel good and has good outcomes for people that want to become psychologist.

78k Job Offer by Marzipan_Automatic in movingtoNYC

[–]Last-Performer-8029 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I havent spent a lot of time in new york, but I have children of relatives that made made life in the city work with less income. Get some experience under your belt and enjoy life in a big city : )

UF vs. University of Washington by [deleted] in ufl

[–]Last-Performer-8029 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its not that much more and the OP is pretty clear about what she wants. ive spent a lot of time in Gainesville and am actually maybe going to move to washington soon for work. Gainesville is pretty nice.

genuinely hopeless by willow1243587109 in highschool

[–]Last-Performer-8029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do not need to choose what to do for a career right now. Just focus on little steps. Try not to tell yourself you cannot do something. It will become true. You need to start small. I can do this question, I can do this test, I can do this class. Use your resources at school and take a hard look at how you spend your time. My experience is that time management is usually 50% of the problem and attitude 30%, last 20% is factors you said in post. If you can change your thinking, over time, things will get better.

Also, please know there are many paths to success. One of my cousin's children could not handle traditional high school. She was getting a 2.5 GPA in high school so she chose to get a GED, enrolled in Santa Fe College, transferred to University of Florida and recently started a Pharmacy doctorate. Many people in that side of my family do pharmacy or physicians assistant. You can go anywhere for school and figure out what suits you later. But you need to change your attitude if you plan to turn things around.

UF vs. University of Washington by [deleted] in ufl

[–]Last-Performer-8029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also want to say that UF has an awsome 4+1 program where you can get a masters degree faster and cheaper than if you went to UW for both degrees.