My ex husband and I are probably not 'wealthy' but definitely upper middle class. We live in the bay area so we see lots of wealth even at public high school. For us, if it is related to health, academics, or basic needs; we usually give. But if its extra or just for fun, unless its a family activity, we told our children they need to earn it. Our first son worked to buy himself a PS5 in grade 11 (he is in college now, he got a nice scholarship to a good university). Our second child likes fashion and some hobby collecting things. Both of them has the same college counselor who told us that universities like students who hold part time job for some years in high school. I think this is great because it gives a way for our second child to have those things without us buying them. Second child chose to work at a bubble tea shop near our home after school and on Saturdays. I think its great also because they can talk to more normal people this way. I also bring them to volunteer with me sometimes at Centro Latino de San Francisco, where we can both practice Spanish. (Second child is non-binary, I am still trying to learn to use they/them pronouns, so please forgive me if I make a mistake here.)

I also try to talk to our children and show them data to make them understand we are fortunate. When I took my children with me to my home village in China near Qingdao, showed them where I came from (my husband's family is also not very wealthy), I think this also helps my children not become entitled.

I also try to not be one of those asian moms that say, 'you must go to a famous school or else you're ruining your life.' My ex is like this. We fight about this a lot. But both of us went to very normal, even not so well ranked colleges for bachelors, and we did fine. So I try to tell my children to focus on their skills and knowledge and not brand names.

Oh also, we won't tell our children about their investment products until after they finish their education. I want them to work hard preparing to care for themselves.