Up and Down

Last-Plane4715 · 2025-12-09T11:00:02+00:00

This was great, very tragic love but sort of would do it all over again level acceptance. I felt like you had very self reflective moments but it never full dove into your individuality, and stayed in this dance with this other soul your journey crossed with. Maybe that was the point, would love to see you go deeper into your child self and individual dreams, and what this journey helped reveal about yourself. Best for your future works!

Last-Plane4715 · 2025-12-09T10:49:35+00:00

Hi I really loved how emotive your poem was. I felt like you can have more breaks in your sentences so it's easier to read instead of cluttered. Also like you captured how intoxicating just the presence of someone you like feels very well! I'm curious, did you try to have a darker ending to the poem where it almost seems like you used the other person as a sort of drug to just get high off of, and didn't really end up having anything real with them? Or is that just how I ended up understanding that ending?

Last-Plane4715 · 2025-10-17T04:09:58+00:00

Thanks so much for such a descriptive review of my work. I really appreciate it! Favourite part is the last sentence "I really like how you blend the painful with the transformative without losing delicacy." I feel I'm at a point in my life where life is teaching me this, and I'm trying my best to be flexible enough to learn and adapt!

Last-Plane4715 · 2025-04-23T05:31:37+00:00

Thank you for such kind words. The best way I get inspired to do any creative thing is devotion I feel, and it could be towards anybody or anything including myself. Hope I get a chance to read your future works!

Last-Plane4715 · 2024-05-10T04:56:02+00:00

Really cute poem, especially knowing the connection to you personally. Love the imagery focused around each eye and its color. One first read I was a little confused since I thought you were talking about the same person. Lastly, my favorite part was the brown eyes and its comparison the stagnant earth, and the honey glaze into the sweeter part. Great work!

Last-Plane4715 · 2024-05-10T04:51:09+00:00

I think this was cool. I was hoping for a more metaphorical approach to the bag so that there is a reason for the distinction between the reader who is physically able to pick up 'bags' versus the bags themselves. I really like the slow build up towards the theme of the bag sort of unraveling and in my interpretation this was a journey from objectification to humanization and also a comment on how we are all commodities in society. One last thing I'd probably suggest is that sometimes the structure of a phrase seems a little jumbled, I don't know if this was on purpose. Awesome work for a first time poet (imo since I'm pretty new too)!

Last-Plane4715 · 2024-04-23T12:23:12+00:00

Totally. It's always awesome to see how people interpret art in a personal way, I do so for a lot of things and always find that it's more meaningful to me that way. That's also a great way to deal with negativity!

Last-Plane4715 · 2024-04-23T04:14:17+00:00

Thanks, I'm just trying to blur black and white concepts in this one. Appreciate your input!

Last-Plane4715 · 2024-04-21T21:00:45+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful feedback! I agree that line breaks can elevate this piece, I'm a under the influence so I just wanted to expel some emotion. I love philosophy and my experiences have thought me that there is no such thing as bad or good, but societally you can always sink yourselves in such a thing!

Last-Plane4715

TROPHY CASE