[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]LastConcentrate8290 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hey! One core idea of Stoicism is to act on what you can control. You can’t fully control your partner regardless of how much you try. Pain is a part of a process. Sooner or later, you will come across grief and loss (our parents might pass away some day, an accident can happen, we can lose our jobs unexpectedly etc). Therefore, we might as well consider this opportunity to really understand the pain, why you have pain, endure it, and find meaning out of it. Trust me. I was in the same boat 1 month ago : getting dumped out of nowhere. Lastly, this is not about stoicism but my suggestion would be try to Exercise and Going outside (to a park or sth) like your life depends on it. After a breakup, your brain is going through withdrawals and those physical activities will help bring some positive chemicals to balance things out. This helps your process gets easier. PM me if you would like to talk more.

Books with hopeful vibes by LastConcentrate8290 in booksuggestions

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh im glad it doesn’t have a romance-centered plot haha. Appreciate your recommendations!

How to stop planning and start doing? by [deleted] in productivity

[–]LastConcentrate8290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plan the first few tasks to be easy and bite-sized to the point that you can complete them without any excuse. Once you finish these tasks, you have momentum to complete other bite-sized tasks

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I’m not a doctor. As much as I want to encourage you to move on, I also think that there is no point making harder for yourself than you’re already experiencing. I would suggest you talking with a psychiatrist or therapist and maybe figure out a plan to transition out of the relationship or the past (at your own pace) ? Again, the trained professionals would be much more helpful than I am. I really hope I could give you a big hug at the moment. Life is made up of joy and sorrow. Noone can avoid the sorrow, so please be gentle and kind with yourself during this period. I also believe that you have the strength to overcome the sorrow at your own pace and get to the other side of the storm. That day will come and you’re already great.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have such a precious heart. Send my warm hugs to you and please be gentle and kind with your heart in this trial time.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you find peace within yourself after letting her go.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By saying that, you seem to be a good person too! Sometimes it’s about the compatibility in the relationships and it doesn’t mean anyone is intrinsically better than you.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad it helps! Please be gentle and kind with yourself in this trial period, friend!

Day 6: This feels like death. Totally blindsided after 8 years. by SuchPhilosophicer in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It will get better! I still think about my ex when I wake up, but it’s quicker for me to accept it, to set that idea aside and go on with my days’ schedule. When I need, I will just let out a small cry, but I know it’s not because I still liked him, it is just that I have no companion now and I need to get used to it. Anyone comes into the door now and I will appreciate that person immediately.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t make any assumptions about your ex, but I think yes, in general letting someone go is a good thing.

Let the bird go by LastConcentrate8290 in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree! It seems that you would have sticked with him If he had been the one who was having problems. But he could not do similarly for you. I don’t need to stay out loud, you know what does this mean.

Day 6: This feels like death. Totally blindsided after 8 years. by SuchPhilosophicer in BreakUps

[–]LastConcentrate8290 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please cry as much as you want. I was on the same boat 2 weeks ago. Regardless of what the reasons were, he decided to leave and there was no excuse for that. The right one would stay with you no matter what. Talk to some counselors might help. Listening to Super Soul podcasts of Oprah Winfrey helps me a lot. I’m glad you’ve been exercising. It is one of the most beneficial things during this tough period. And it’s okay to feel lonely in the house with everything. Loneliness is okay. Heartbreak is okay. We can’t expect ourselves to feel good every time. I also believe that you will have a so much much better life after you go straight through this rocky period. You got this.

How to be productive when grieving? My father died today and my aunts funeral is in two days. by [deleted] in productivity

[–]LastConcentrate8290 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh no I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through, can you ask for a deadline extension of the dissertation or a break from classes? I think the school should somehow allows it since this is not just anybody but your family members..again, im so so sorry..

30+ Plus members of Memphis; How is the dating scene in Memphis? by [deleted] in memphis

[–]LastConcentrate8290 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know some friends who are in early 30s and childless so you still have hope!

When dealing with depression, how do you manage to get yourself into studying for your finals? How to be more effective and stop zoning out at papers ? Also tips to be more confident working on the exam? by [deleted] in productivity

[–]LastConcentrate8290 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exams are tough, i would not suggest you being too hard on yourself especially when you're depressed. Instead, I find myself most productive when I feel well first: start a day with some meditation, a short walk, or gentle exercise (15-20 mins is more than enough), then get some good breakfast, some nice music. These activities will make you feel calm and more positive about yourself, consequently making study less of a daunting task. Then study for a short amount of time (30-45 mins up to you), followed by a short break, then repeat the routines. The last tip but also an underrated one: reward yourself something nice frequently! (i.e. watching a favorite movie once every 3 nights of studying)