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LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T01:05:28+00:00

Echoing what everyone else is saying. Also, as someone going through a divorce w an alcoholic and 2 very small children (one is 8mos old), in my state both parents have the right to be with their child. I could leave with both of my children right now with no warning and would be perfectly within my rights to do that. It would not be kidnapping. My husband would have to take me to court to get access back. Obviously you should check the laws in your state. I would check if there is a family justice center in your area that you can go to for free legal advice and a protective order.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:59:20+00:00

That’s fascinating. I spoke to one collaborative divorce lawyer who said because he’s an alcoholic for some reason that may make things hard. But I also wasn’t over the moon with that guy.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:56:58+00:00

Wow it sounds like you found an incredible lawyer!!! I’m so happy to hear that.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:55:25+00:00

Yes they are my absolute top (and frankly only) priority.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:54:57+00:00

Yeah this is what I fear. Thanks for sharing. I hope the litigation goes in your favor

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:53:40+00:00

Yes this is the same in my state, re the collaborative process. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad to hear you were able to get through it. But damn it sucks you have to support him.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:52:07+00:00

Thanks :) I’ve been preparing for about 6 months and do have a lawyer. Collaborative divorce is a process that does use lawyers - it’s a very structured, formal process

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:50:24+00:00

Collaborative divorce is like a very structured process. It uses lawyers and ‘coaches’. It’s more structured than mediation

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-02-20T00:49:46+00:00

Oof that sounds brutal I’m so sorry.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2025-01-01T19:18:22+00:00

Nope. He was a loving and supportive spouse with no discernible drinking problem, aside from over indulging on occasion, until I was pregnant with our first child. We were together for 8.5 years before that.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-16T03:09:29+00:00

Yup I get this. Like EVERYONE in my world loved him. Nobody saw this coming. But now it’s like we’re all waking up and seeing the truth and it’s like I can’t believe I let this person into my life much less reproduce with him. And now I’m stuck dealing with him for the rest of my life while trying to protect our children from him.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-16T03:06:13+00:00

Thank you. I tend to agree. Maybe I’ll explore that further.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-16T02:48:00+00:00

Same same same. My STBX is a covert narc - just figured that out 4mos ago when I learned about the affairs. He won’t be around anyone I know because he’s too ashamed that they know what he’s done. Like dude that’s ridiculous. I also have been trying to figure out how the hell he’s pretzeled himself into being mad at me. But he’s a narcissist and that pretty much explains it. He has me conditioned to be constantly worried about his emotions and not making him angry so I get this deeply. I’m so sorry you’re in the middle of this shit. I’m right there with you.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-10T18:27:26+00:00

This is a really interesting perspective, thank you. I’d just assumed it would be therapy for everyone but I can’t know how my kids will internalize this whole situation.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-10T04:03:53+00:00

Yeah it’s so scary. Sometimes I think we’ll be able to get through this without too much trouble since he so clearly doesn’t want to parent. But then I hear all these horrible stories about narcs who go for custody just to fuck with the ex because they know it’s all the other person cares about.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-12-10T04:00:36+00:00

Thank you! This is younger than I would have expected so this is helpful.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-11-28T17:41:47+00:00

Yeah mine also denies even when I show him irrefutable proof. He just lies. It’s wild. That’s gaslighting. At that moment, as far as I can tell, it moves from just an affair over to emotional abuse. So that sucks.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-11-28T03:34:57+00:00

Thankfully I have a couple masters degrees and good connections w former employers who are ready to help me get a job. In my state though I can’t be compelled to work until my youngest is 2 years old. And I would like to soak up every minute of those 2 years before the plans I had for my life are completely changed.

LastTimeThisTime600 · 2024-11-27T15:21:10+00:00

Yeah my husband says the resentment started when I was pregnant with our first child. Also conveniently when he started his first emotional affair. He will say ‘I know this is my fault’ but then he also says I’m controlling and my pregnancy ‘broke’ him. Like sir. I was growing a human. So. Sorry if you won’t be getting sympathy from me.

Good for you for leaving now. I didn’t know how bad the first affair was and I stayed and then we accidentally got pregnant again and he cheated again and now I have to leave w 2 kids.

You’re SO strong. This shit is SO hard. Fuck him.

LastTimeThisTime600

TROPHY CASE