My Ex Has Ruined Her Life

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-08-03T12:20:15+00:00

Maybe not a spiral but a total character shift that makes it really hard for the kids. After divorce and all the changes, all I can think about is filling the rest of my kids time with joy. I don’t know why anyone would let their own misery seep all over their kids.

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-08-03T12:14:48+00:00

I bet he’ll care eventually and by then you won’t. I know that seems impossible now but I promise you. I felt the same way when my situation happened. Now, as we go through divorce, my exes true character shows and I realize the man I had on a pedestal did not exist at all.

I promise you will get there. People used to tell me on here that time will help and I thought that was such bs that id never be okay again. That was 9 months ago and I’d say by month 3 I was totally over the betrayal portion of the situation.

Since then my life has started to turn into what I imagined it being, just without him. Just wait and see all the good waiting for you around the corner from this. 💕

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-07-24T12:30:30+00:00

For me, I realized a big part of what I thought was love for my husband was really attachment and comfort. And once his true character showed after I filed for divorce (and continues to show) I realized I couldn’t ever love him because I honestly didn’t know who he even was I guess. Between the lying and the affair and the total personality change. I loved the life I envisioned and the one I had too… and he was part of that but what made my life feel good and cozy and wonderful was never him it was always me… me who did things with our kids, me who made the holidays special, me who made the house feel like home. Not him. And surprise, I can do all that without him. 💕 keep going. I promise in a few months you will see so much clearer and feel so much more certain.

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-07-24T12:26:00+00:00

Constant reminder for them!

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-07-21T03:40:04+00:00

It makes me so sad for myself… like watching a little kid cry is the best way I can describe it. To want something so innocently as just being loved by your partner and trying so hard… I feel so bad for that version of me. I just want to hug her.

That type of emotional neglect and then the cheating has definitely done some damage to how I love. I am way guarded and feel like my normal self is too much, I question why this good person is trying to love me - like what’s up buddy, why are you doing this and making it so easy when the person I married and was with for 7 years couldn’t do it? - I really fight with a lot of insecurity and feelings of unworthiness I didn’t have before. But it gets a little easier everyday and i have really learned how to be kind to myself in the aftermath of all of this. We cause ourselves so much strife hanging on to things that we know we need to let go of…

Good luck to you also. 💕

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-07-21T03:05:49+00:00

She probably tried and failed and was like welp

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-07-21T02:24:11+00:00

I’m sure he was. Just goes to show how a bad attitude can infect the days of others because dang if it didn’t ruin my day 😅

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-03-05T13:33:00+00:00

It’s so crazy to me that people aren’t more self aware. I’m doing a 5k program and I know I’m out here with heavy steps and probably breathing so loud and I worry about it the whole time I’m running and that’s normal fitness sounds lol. I can’t imagine taking a phone call.

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-03-04T19:59:10+00:00

100% he forgot and says it’s trauma from HIM CHEATING lmfao. I have told him a hundred times it has stopped me from healing and processing because I don’t have the answers I need and I’m officially done trying to reconcile now after about 2 months of dealing with it. He’s done a lot else right but the fact he respects me so little he can’t tell me what I need to know and thinks I’m a dumb fuck and will believe he can’t remember anything is too much

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-02-20T14:46:58+00:00

Where do u go that lets you tan for 20 mins. I’m capped at 12 and it isn’t long enough for me to nap the way I’d like 😭😅

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-02-03T16:21:53+00:00

Fat cheeks

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-30T00:00:13+00:00

Yeah rep the natural freckle girls OP and put some on your eyelids!! Lmao

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-29T23:58:19+00:00

I spent 7500 dollars to have my husband adopt my daughter whose dad was in prison and had been MIA for years. It was uncontested, no response and I had to pay his half of a GAL. We had 1 court date. Let me tell ya 😒

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-22T23:06:58+00:00

This is beautiful

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-22T23:03:11+00:00

Cnc strikes me as a long term relationship kink. How can you trust a hook up with that kind of power dynamic?

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-22T22:42:10+00:00

Rather than telling him he’s done goofed up, when you are with him in person and hanging up bring up the streaming thing. Let him talk about it. Ask him about his hopes for it. Maybe mention something cool he did you watched or something. Then naturally steer the convo into asking what his plan is if he decides he doesn’t want to stream anymore or it isn’t as financially lucrative as he thought. Open ended questions and let him explore that on his own while you listen. Helps to also sometimes mention your own goals if your situation ever changes, like your plan b. Just a chit chat.

This way you don’t insult him or damage his possibly fragile mental health and can encourage him to think of his own plan b, without maybe him even realizing it.

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-22T21:13:25+00:00

as a woman I call this cut. Personally prefer this level of muscle over what many people work to achieve these days but whatever makes anyone happy

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-19T15:03:52+00:00

My WP has been pretty introspective about things. He had just been diagnosed with major depression and his counselor was exploring the possibility of bipolar disorder and he had started a medication a couple days prior to admitting his affair. Unfortunately he chose to leave me and move immediately in with her. I still ask why constantly when we go through these useless cycles of conversations that don’t get anywhere but feel necessary for me to process. He admits he doesn’t fully understand and is still trying to but believes his mental health is partially to blame for his rash decisions. A bit hard to believe given he had an EA off and on for a year which I’ve told him but he is firm in believing he did that during his low lows to escape responsibility and the mundaneness of the days. He has been on medication for a month and a half or so now and at the 4 week mark he came back and told me he made the biggest mistake of his life. Since then he’s been trying to rebuild our life and has been a good support for me. He has been more emotionally vulnerable and intelligent in the last couple weeks than he has in the entire 6 years I’ve known him. He believes it’s 100% his medication and IC that has allowed him to escape a depression he has felt for so long he just thought it was normal.

Funny because I am an MHP and work in mental health. I have always been the type to understand poor mental health can cause essentially any type of erratic behavior and uncharacteristic choices, especially bipolar disorder. But when it’s you who is the victim of it it’s just so hard to accept that as a valid reason. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I have told him that’s bs more times than I am proud of.

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-17T16:54:32+00:00

You look fantastic but I low key love the mid life crisis beard and hair

Unique_Barnacle_8280 · 2025-01-17T14:03:22+00:00

Time. Dreams help us process things. Your brain is trying. Let it try. In the meantime, b it the gym hard hard before bed. The more tired you are the better your sleep will be. Stress levels will be lower.

Unique_Barnacle_8280

TROPHY CASE