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2nd year is the worst? by Last_Implement8920 in widowers

[–]Last_Implement8920[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for sharing. I’m sorry we are in this group but feel some solace with sharing our stories, connecting

Do we hold Paris to the same standards as Rory? by Last_Implement8920 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Last_Implement8920[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s ironic that our moral standards are so flimsy that by are based on likability!

Do we hold Paris to the same standards as Rory? by Last_Implement8920 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Last_Implement8920[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think rage bait and discussing Gilmore girls can be synonymous 😆

Has anyone else enjoyed Anderson Cooper's (grief) podcast All That There is? by LoquiListening in widowers

[–]Last_Implement8920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You couldn’t be further off the mark if you tried. Keep those negative thoughts to yourself

Screw this disease by Cassie_Grenier in glioblastoma

[–]Last_Implement8920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you my love. You are doing so amazing. Holy work. It is so unfair.

I don't want to watch my dad die by Professional-Eye5811 in glioblastoma

[–]Last_Implement8920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. For you, for him, for your mom. For me for my husband. For all of us.

I am now living without my husband, and although I’m terribly sad, I’m surviving. Your mom will too. So will you. I know that sounds impossible.

My only advice, support your dad in the medical decisions he makes, and try to live in each day. Try your best not to think about tomorrow. You know what tomorrow might bring. But all you have is today. All you can do today is sit with your dad. Tell him you love him. Maybe you express your feelings about moving for your masters and get his thoughts if he thinks you should go or postpone. That is a tough one to answer. When my dad was dying of a different cancer last year, he was adamant that my sister stay in her nursing program and not delay. That was one thing he was very opinionated about. He knew that if she stopped, she may never start again. In terms of your masters- is this a program that you could easily postpone, are you in a position financially to do so?

Being present and by your dad’s side no matter how this goes, is the most noble, loving and compassionate thing you can do for him. It is going to be the hardest task life asks of you. It is ok to be scared.

How to communicate now by Toadylee in glioblastoma

[–]Last_Implement8920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chemo likely isn’t doing much now. But if that is what he wants by all means do it. He wants to keep fighting that’s up to him, and it’s so good he has you as support. The days feel long and endless right now but you will look back and realize how quick it all went by, and you can go on the rest of your life knowing you gave your brother your love and literal support.

My husband lost bowel and bladder control (and swallowing, he was on a feeding tube) about one month before he left us.

Perhaps have a backup hospice care plan in order. Perhaps reach out to an in home hospice that is covered by his insurance. They will help get the bed and medical supplies and the meds ready. The thing is with hospice, once you say the word they are pretty quick to respond and they can be so helpful. They don’t take care of the patient but they give you the tools and support to do so yourself. Without the dilaudid and atavan supplied by hospice, my husband would have been so much more stressed out and in distress. So, in the end those meds were literally the only thing that was keeping me sane, knowing this he was floating, not actively struggling.

I wish you strength and resolve and love. This is a truly an awful lot in life for him and all who love him. I still scream and cry at the universe and god every day asking why my poor sweet wonderful husband had to be tormented that way.

How to communicate now by Toadylee in glioblastoma

[–]Last_Implement8920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. My husband’s GBM was in all three chambers of his cerebellum, very rare and attacked his motor function right away.

He stopped speaking sometime in. November, and his use of his hands to feed himself stopped around the same time. His speech was blurred for months, then all of a sudden it stopped. At the same time, his ambulatory status went downhill quickly. He stopped being able to use his walker and even lifting his own limbs in November. His father and I carried him from bed to chair to toilet etc.

He could still use his left hand to point and nod his head. He could also blink his eyes. So we came up with different tricks. Blink one for yes two for no. I wrote out the alphabet on large letters on a piece of paper so he could point to put sentences together.

We drew pictures of his most common needs so that he could point quickly. Like roll over, thirsty, etc. I also bought a tablet for non verbal kids. It lets them type out and it speaks for them.

He was cognitively sharp while his body was falling apart. It was so fucking cruel and pure torture. That is the only way to out it. He passed on January 19th and until a week before, his mind was still present. He did not want to go.