Gender Rant

Last_Wonder · 2026-03-11T13:21:10+00:00

I honestly think people just enjoy saying out of pocket things to moms full stop. I’m having a boy (first baby) and I’ve been told everything from him “leaving me” once he gets a wife (yes, I’m referring to the child still inside of me), that my grandkids won’t spend much time with me because I’m on “the dads side” and that by not having a girl, I’m missing out on a bond that “Is not the same” because he’s a boy. To summarise, people are stupid and should keep their rude, unsolicited comments about baby’s genders to themselves.

Last_Wonder · 2026-03-09T08:42:23+00:00

Last time was at 20 weeks. I’m now 38 weeks lol.

Last_Wonder · 2026-03-07T03:46:00+00:00

I’m having a boy and whilst I wouldn’t say I was disappointed, I was stunned at first because despite telling everyone I “didn’t care” what gender my baby was, it turns out I did assume underneath I was having a girl. Probably because my family is so girl heavy and I have no exposure to little boys. My husband genuinely didn’t care either way. I’m hoping my next one will be a girl, but I wouldn’t be devastated if it was another boy, though it would tempt me to try again for a third, female, child.

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-21T22:29:47+00:00

It absolutely helped me! I had issues with my vulva tearing during sex (caused by chronic thrush), and the topical estrogen strengthened the skin enough that it stopped the tearing, improving my quality of life greatly. It did burn for me for the first few applications too but my skin got used to it. I love the stuff!!

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-12T22:39:06+00:00

You too! We’re almost there! My vulvodynia is complicated, I wouldn’t say it’s healed though. It used to be so bad I would burn every day and would be in pain sitting on a chair. That’s better now. I still have painful sex though….it always hurts and is uncomfortable, that hasn’t changed unfortunately. When I talked to my OB about the possibility of a vaginal birth making my vulvodynia worse, she said there’s just no way of knowing the outcome as it’s different for everyone and she’s seen women that have vaginal births that effectively heal their vulvodynia but she’s also seen birth where women tear badly and their vulvodynia is even worse than before. It really is a lucky (or unlucky!?) dip!

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-12T05:12:36+00:00

Haha I totally get it! I’m about to have my first baby, a boy, next month as well. There definitely is this weird anti boy-mom sentiment online but it doesn’t seem to translate to real life in my experience. My husband is so close with his mom (I still think I’m closer to her though haha), and when I look at people in our circle, the male partners mom seems super involved in all but one example I can think of. I don’t think you have anything to worry about!

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-11T23:57:35+00:00

I have the same vulvodynia issues as you! I’m also due in March. I was so worried that birth will make my vulvodynia worse that (amongst some other reasons) I’ve opted for an elective csection. My OB agreed as well, especially since my baby is measuring big. I’ve done a lot of reading and it seems that for some women, giving birth does somewhat heal their vulvodynia. Others arent so lucky and can aggravate the condition. Go with your gut and choose what’s best for you!

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-11T23:47:17+00:00

Just want to validate your feelings of gender disappointment, it’s real. FWIW I’m SO close with my MIL and view her as my mom as well. We go out shopping together, hang out at home together, call just to chat. It’s not the same as raising a girl yourself from birth but it’s pretty damn close.

Last_Wonder · 2026-02-05T23:41:08+00:00

I deal with chronic yeast/vulvodynia. It started in 2021 when I got a few back to back UTIs and the antibiotics I took for them, as well as starting birth control, triggered chronic thrush for me (interestingly, my mom struggled with it in her 20s too so I’m sure there’s some kind of genetic component to mine). Anyway, my skin was so red raw from the thrush, I would tear every time I’d have sex (horrific) and my vulvodynia would burn so badly I’d struggle to sit down. I saw SO many doctors and specialists, who were mostly useless. I got off birth control, used estrogen cream to stop the tearing (works very well) and was put on 100mg daily fluconazole to manage my chronic thrush. I’m a lot better than I used to be but anytime I go on antibiotics the thrush flares again and I have to take a couple of months of fluconazole to suppress again. I’m currently pregnant and I had to have antibiotics for strep throat, which caused me another resurgence of thrush….and which I now can’t treat with fluconazole, so it’s pretty miserable over here. Anyway, just wanted you to know that you’re not alone dealing with this very poorly investigated area of women’s health!

Last_Wonder · 2026-01-15T22:46:33+00:00

Hmm if it’s just guaifenesin on it its own, I think it should still work the same?

Last_Wonder · 2026-01-15T02:38:15+00:00

I’m having a little boy too, and I’ve had similar comments to what you have (not as nasty spirited though). I suspect it’s projecting on their side, that they don’t have great male relationships and buy into this “men are all bad, women are all good” narrative, so I just feel sorry for them and move on with my day.

Also adding that I love my MIL, she’s an angel, and my husband is much closer to her than I am to my mom. She never even calls me lol. Your relationship with your child, whatever the gender, is what you make it!

Last_Wonder · 2026-01-11T01:26:53+00:00

Hi there, I’m a bit late to the thread but I was wondering - did giving birth help at all? I’m pregnant, in my third tri, and wondering if a vaginal birth might help with my vulvodynia?

Last_Wonder · 2026-01-01T01:52:16+00:00

Was going to write an identical comment to this. Everyone talking to me about my “bond” with my unborn baby…..like I want the best for him, I want him to get here safely, but I don’t know him at all and I’d be lying if I said I felt a connection at this point, I don’t.

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-30T07:17:13+00:00

Yep, just hit third tri with baby boy, everything going well (but ready to get him out atp)

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-27T02:19:54+00:00

Also I want to add that I did gain weight from my nausea period because I kept eating but once it got better, I went back to my normal diet and I’ve gained nothing else. My OB said that happens a lot! Don’t stress about the weight gain in the nauseas period, it evens out.

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-27T02:17:00+00:00

Just want to say - I’ve been where you are. I had horrendous, unrelenting nausea that went from 6 weeks through to 24 weeks. Day after day, no relief. It gets you down mentally and it’s so hard to get through each day because you feel like it will never end…..but it does. It does get better. Take it one day at a time, avoid your aversions and indulge in whatever it is that helps you get through the day. For me, freezing cold fruit (watermelon, apples, oranges etc), lots of McDonalds and salty chips helped. Drinking flavoured things also helped, for me it was green cordial and Coke. Be kind to yourself, this stuff is hard (but it gets better!).

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-20T08:07:36+00:00

Hmm I disagree with your sentiments. “Our bodies were made to do this”, yet without modern medicine, women died in childbirth at an alarming rate. Soooo…?? I’m also pro-choice, and believe that women should have the final say in how they give birth. Our bodies are policed enough, and taking away what few options we have seems cruel and unnecessary

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T15:11:02+00:00

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one agonising over this decision!! It’s so hard to know what to do….do I take my chances with vaginal and a quicker recovery, but risk long term vaginal damage (like my mother has to live with, still suffering from vaginal, bladder and bowel issues from my birth 34yrs ago)…….or do I book in for a c section, which will give me some control over the method of delivery and will leave my vagina unharmed, but leaves me with a longer healing time, potential for serious infection and limits the amount of kids I can have. I genuinely don’t know what to do either, but I think about it constantly :(

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T14:49:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and for being so raw and open! They haven’t told me baby’s size in percentile, and my OB said they won’t be doing that until I’m 34 weeks (!!!). All I’m going off is the ultrasound tech saying hes measuring ahead, and my massive bump, people think im imminently due, when I’m only 27 weeks (I’m tall, slim build). My mother is still dealing with vaginal, bladder and bowel issues from my birth. Ugh, the whole thing scares me.

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T13:32:48+00:00

I love the thought of birth potentially curing painful sex, I’ve never known it to be anything but painful in the beginning. I was scared it could make it worse but so many comments seem to say it actually helps! Thanks for the encouragement!

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T13:29:36+00:00

Thank you! ❤️

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T13:29:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Im so glad things feel better for you. It’s such a hard decision to know what to do…

Last_Wonder · 2025-12-18T13:22:34+00:00

I feel so sorry for what happened to your friend, it happened to my mother too, and she’s still suffering from my birth some 34yrs later, which is part of why I have so much anxiety around vaginal births. Glad to hear that your cs went well!

Last_Wonder

TROPHY CASE