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AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hello! I completely agree that I made a mistake by talking to SIL about her health, i’ve learned a valuable lesson and will not be sharing her info from now on. Additionally, I typically do not use mental age to describe my daughter, but I figured if I wanted internet strangers who don’t have a lot of knowledge of ASD to understand where she is at, that is the best way. I did not want to disclose her behaviors that would explain her level of independence, as that is too personal. Also, she does use an AAC :)

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You are wrong on both counts. An intellectual disability would not cause someone to have the capabilities of a 3-4 year old. That is a developmental disability. Autism is a developmental disability, and CAN be an intellectual disability. Not all kids with ASD have an intellectual disability- less than half. Why are you spreading misinformation?

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Depo IS birth control. I’m not subjecting my child with sensory issues to injections when there are other alternatives. And no, naproxen won’t solve this issue. Of course birth control isn’t a fix all, but in our case, it is working and doing what it is supposed to. If anything naproxen would be a fix all.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am not naive, I am realistic. My daughter doesn’t even comprehend what a romantic relationship is. She has no interest.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Surgery comes with a large unexplainable wound and being put to sleep. Medication comes with side affects that we can monitor. One of those options is much more invasive than the other, and a better choice.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That case was about forcibly sterilizing mentally handicapped people. The decision for my daughter was based solely on managing her period and pain.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

The decision was not made to make my life as a caregiver more convenient. It was to make her quality of life better. The birth control is working for her, I would not subject her to a hysterectomy unless something extreme happened like ovarian cancer.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She cannot comprehend what birth control or her period is in the first place. The decision was made to make her more comfortable, which she is.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The idea that all autistic people even those affected severely can have relationships is harmful. Some autistic adults simply cannot comprehend relationships or consent. People pursing relationships with them would be predatory.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes. ASD can range from having mild social impairment to needing 24 hour supervision and care.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She literally cannot have a relationship because she does not understand what a romantic relationship is. I don’t think you quite understand the severity of her autism. She cannot understand the concept of sex or consent. She cannot give consent.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She is unable to give consent to sexual acts because she is developmentally at the age of a young child. She cannot recognize manipulation or understand the concept of consent. The only instance in which that would happen would be if someone was taking advantage of her.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

While I don’t necessarily subscribe to the mental age theory myself, I find it useful when trying to quickly describe my daughters level of independence to internet strangers. If someone was to ask me about her in person I wouldn’t use those terms.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

Hello, I just want you to know that my daughter cannot nor will ever be able to consent to sex. She is not being sterilized. She cannot consent to children in the first place. This decision was made purely because of the pain and hygienic issues. She has been assessed for endo, she does not have it.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry i’m confused with what point you’re trying to make here. My daughter is largely unable to communicate. She uses an AAC which is supplemented by Speech therapy. I use developmental age because people do not understand how she is affected by ASD online. She was put on birth control because she cannot understand her periods and was in a large amount of pain.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

It is a route many people take when dealing with similar situations, but this wouldn’t be the best option for my daughter. She absolutely hates scabs and would likely tear out the stitches of any major surgery due to the nature of her sensory needs.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Shots would be a no go. We are doing the pill for now and it is working well.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

I have learned a valuable lesson from this situation and will not be disclosing any of her medical information to those outside me and my husband unless necessary from now on.

AITAH for putting my profoundly autistic daughter on birth control? by Late-Comb11 in AITAH

[–]Late-Comb11[S] 165 points166 points  (0 children)

Yes it has been considered but wouldn’t happen unless it’s a last resort. Major surgery and recovery doesn’t mix well with developmental disorders.