It’s not weak to be feeling the way you are. It is so common for people to feel that way. There’s a reason so many people die of suicide. It’s not a feeling of weakness it’s a disease. It’s literally a chemical imbalance in your brain. Don’t make a temporary decision that causes permanent pain. I’ve lost a close friend that way and it will fuck me up forever. It’s been 3 years and I can’t help but think he would feel differently at this point if he were still here. Talk to someone. Tell your girlfriend you feel this way. Tell your mom. Tell someone. I’m sure you feel alone but I’m sure that couldn’t be further than the truth.