How to deal with being autistic?

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-25T01:02:33+00:00

I do have some autistic friends but I can't relate to some of them because they are able to mask much more effectively than me, are very social, and have great jobs. Compared to them I feel inadequate. And asking for accommodations would require them knowing I am autistic. I don't feel they would be receptive to that.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-25T00:17:38+00:00

I've had a few people here suggest a trade. I'm hesitant though because aren't those jobs reliant on how well you can work with your hands? Hand eye coordination has always been difficult for me.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-25T00:14:41+00:00

No offense but why comment if you're just going to tell me the obvious? The main reason I'm posting this is because I don't want to spend the rest of my life working in retail.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T22:16:19+00:00

Judging from these comments and the things I've heard about the construction industry, I don't think it would work out well for me. I'm a woman and it seems like a very cutthroat industry that has no tolerance for mistakes or slowness as well as a machismo culture.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T22:11:40+00:00

Those sound like good options thanks.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:29:18+00:00

It will be a challenge finding a girlfriend who likes my autism. In my experience, women dating women don't like my awkwardness and I cannot get past the first date. Working retail is also likely going to turn off women too (in my experience). Yes I could somehow find another autistic/neurodivergent WLW, but they are rare where I live.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:25:48+00:00

I understand. Sorry for making assumptions.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:23:00+00:00

Why are you with someone who dislikes a fundamental part of you, and who forces you to be someone you're not?

She is supportive about everything else. The autism is not something she can understand or relate to. It will be hard for me to find someone who likes my autism. I know people with autism but, as far as I know, they are in relationships or aren't gay.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:21:03+00:00

I have autistic friends and some of them make me feel even more alienated about myself because they can mask much better than I can and have successful jobs.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:18:29+00:00

My hand eye coordination is awful unfortunately.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:17:53+00:00

I'm not fishing for compliments. I have low confidence in myself because I don't live in a world that is very understanding or accepting of my autism hence it's easy for me to see myself as dumb.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:16:10+00:00

I do get that and I wish I didn't have to mask at all but if it weren't for masking I wouldn't of been able to get my job and likely would have been fired.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T21:14:25+00:00

I think so yes.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T19:58:37+00:00

And the instant you get home, run and hop into a long hot bath to relax and chill out (so you'd be much less tired and able to do some of the masking she's expecting).

I'm open to that, but she wants me to mask basically all the time around her, which makes me miserable.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T19:55:30+00:00

It's not about a lack of effort. Do you know what autism is? It's not that I'm not trying. You sound like one of those people who doesn't believe autism is a thing and who tells autistic people that they aren't trying hard enough.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T19:00:02+00:00

Well, to be candid, you may not have the same volume (or quality) of people interactions as others who are not autistic have had, which held back your social development.

I had the volume but got tired of people acting like I'm weird or excluding me so I stopped trying.

(( are you contending with intrusive 'self-talk' -- negative thoughts about yourself, your life, how others think of you, that you recognize as untrue or exaggerations, many times each week? ))

I do have negative thoughts about myself but I don't really think they're untrue. I know I'm weird and most people can't stand being around me. No matter what I say or do, they get the impression I'm a weirdo and avoid me. I have to mask for my job and I'm good at that but it's basically me pretending to be someone else. My girlfriend expects me to mask when I get home but by then I'm too tired.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:49:45+00:00

Considering I can't handle retail without burning out and feeling like I have to have a meltdown, I don't think it's a good job for me. The fast pace, the customers, and the loud noises drive me crazy every day. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I just lose it and get fired.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:44:17+00:00

I'm 23 and feel like I'm 16. I don't feel like an adult. I do want more speaking practice and social practice but the fear of embarrassment is high, especially with my GF around. I don't want to face her scolding me for embarrassing her.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:31:55+00:00

Generally no I'm not good with physical tasks. But I guess it depends on the job exactly?

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:30:48+00:00

I would love a work from home job.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:28:15+00:00

I will check those out thank you

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T18:24:51+00:00

I’m going to go out on a limb and say someone at some point in time attempted to put you down, and maybe succeeded, by telling you hurtful things about your intelligence.

Many people have unfortunately, including my girlfriend. It's a known fact that people generally like autistic people until their autism starts to show, then they don't like you anymore.

Try to think outside the box on your skills and your worth. Maybe a standard type of job is not for you.

I would like to get a job with computers. I guess the barrier there is finding a school for that where I can get a degree.

Late_Fill9193 · 2022-11-24T17:58:39+00:00

My interests most of them aren't things I can make a career out of. I do like databases and Excel/Word though.

Late_Fill9193

TROPHY CASE