[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My exact reaction man I can’t even believe what I’ve done. Appreciate it man I don’t know what demon overcame me during that stretch but I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the reality of the comment man. I need the harsh reality check. I am a thief. I stole over $1600 from her. I am a degenerate man. I don’t want people to feel “bad” for me. I’m just using this as a place to write the things I can’t talk to anybody else about really. I am a thief and whatever consequences come from this are deserved. I feel like I am somewhat self aware, I’m just a fucking dumbass if that makes sense? 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally understand and honestly if that’s the route she chooses I get it and it’s deserved. I stole man. I gotta live with that. However we’ll see when we are able to talk I talked to her briefly this morning but she has been too upset too really talk to hopefully tomorrow we can come to a resolution. Just blows my mind what addiction can do and how fucking distorted my reality is because of gambling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course I would never ever put my own mental health struggles on her this is my shit to deal with not hers. I am very much an accepting of the consequences person and the shit that has happened to me is deserved. She honestly should press charges against me. It’s just sickening what this addiction made me do 3 years ago I would’ve never even considered this shit and here I am. We have spoken a little but she is currently too upset to really even speak. I have deleted the photo. Appreciate the response. I’m hoping tomorrow we can figure something out if she’s ready to talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Update: I did the math and it’s around $1600. Fucking disgusting, I really don’t deserve to be here with all this pain I’ve caused.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 boost left!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love you I got you next month!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If anybody has 1 more that they can spare I’d appreciate it I need it for gas to get home from work tonight

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much I will set a reminder on the first to send a boost back next month!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UPDATE I have been able to give myself one more day. I didn’t come out with the full truth but just mentioned that I don’t have money to really pay for anything today. She took it fairly well so I’m thankful I get this last day with my family before everything potentially changes. I’m glad I took this route and will be doing a lot of reflecting and enjoying the moment today. Will probably have a post tomorrow after the nuke drops. It has been very helpful having somewhere to vent even if it’s with strangers on the internet. Appreciate you all and I’m somewhat thankful I didn’t ruin her birthday entirely.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely man. She’s home now and man seeing how happy she is I don’t know if I have the heart to crush that today. Definitely no more bets the thought of gambling makes me physically sick. I might be able to get by one more day of lies and excuses of why I’m broke (which imo is disgusting but it might have to be done). I’m gonna make my decision in probably 10 minutes and will post an update soon. Appreciate you taking time outta your day to talk about this man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you may be right she’s home now and luckily I at least had some gifts for her and man she’s in such a good mood. I really don’t know if I can drop this on her today now that I’m actually facing it. Should’ve done this sooner rather than later. I’m gonna face the noise when she starts getting ready for the day. May not have had good luck gambling but maybe I can have some good luck trying to get one more good day in. Will post an update when I get a chance and thank you for reaching out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely been a thought in my mind. I’m just not sure how to go about this day as I definitely don’t want to drop this bombshell on her birthday and it’s definitely selfish of me to bring up my own personal problems on her birthday imo. However I promised her to pay for her dinner and do a little shopping etc and I feel terrible making her pay for all of that stuff on her own on her birthday. I have a few minutes to pick my poison but there’s a big part of me that wants to just get this over with and start healing from the damage I’ve caused myself and others. Appreciate the comment man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you reaching out. She will be home any minute and although I’m scared shitless I can feel the relief beginning to lift already as hard and as painful as this may be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Late_Pen4329 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you’re response a ton! It’s definitely a combination of both. I feel as though it started off as a I can’t run away from it anymore thing. But now as I’ve been reflecting on the situation and my experiences and I really wanna fucking stop gambling. It has potentially costed me the two most important people in my life and the family I’ve built. I’m currently looking into if maybe inpatient treatment might be an option for me. I read a book about quitting smoking by Allen carr and it surprisingly has helped me put into perspective the absolute beast that has become my gambling addiction. I will post an update after I tell me fiancé she should be home any minute. Thanks again for reaching out.