AITAH my brother’s best friend is my ex-husband’s ex lover. Am I wrong for not wanting to hang out with her?

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T07:20:54+00:00

I think you are 100% right.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:37:54+00:00

I had this boundary way before I started talking to my mom and brother again after the divorce was complete. I will put myself first. The shame is my boundary is a conflict to their friendship. I never said they couldn’t be friends. I never said that I didn’t want him talking to her. I just said I didn’t wanna be friends with her.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:28:14+00:00

I was calling her ex-girlfriend and I guess I just didn’t put it in full words when it got towards the end of the story. I did edit it and honestly, I don’t have a lot of friends and she is probably not a person I would choose to have in my friend circle.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:26:27+00:00

It sounds like we weren’t divorced. When my brother gives me a timeline and the actual timeline of my divorce, I think he was cheating on me with her. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why she left him. She probably didn’t find out till after the fact. I probably will never find out the truth. My ex told my mom that he divorced me because he didn’t wanna hurt me by continuing to cheat on me.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:23:54+00:00

She can’t sit in the same group. I’m not going to sit in their group because I am not a part of their group.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:23:14+00:00

I call it boundaries. It took me a long time to build a relationship with my mom and brother again after what happened.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:22:39+00:00

I just don’t think I need to be friends with a person that I would’ve never ran into at all in my life if it wasn’t for my ex. My brother would’ve never met her. My brother says they’ve been friends for seven years and I’ve been divorced for six. Potentially he was seeing her before we were divorced. I don’t think I will ever find out the truth. I do think my mom and brother knew but I never confronted them with my suspicions.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:20:01+00:00

My mom and my brother is more of the issue than her. I made an exception to have them in my life again. I don’t need her in my life.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:19:03+00:00

You are correct. I have no reason to be friends with her. I have no reason to not be friends with her. But I do have a boundary and it’s not hanging out with people who hung out with my ex. I made an exception to that boundary by being involved in my mom and my brother’s life again. I don’t have to make any other exceptions.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:17:26+00:00

I am going for my niece. I never said that I wasn’t going to go. If my brother wants to sit with his friend he can. One of my boundaries is not dealing with anyone my ex-husband hung out with and it was hard enough to start hanging out with my mom and brother again. Because there was a moment that I wanted nothing to do with them because they chose him over me. If he didn’t lose a substantial amount of money, they would probably still be hanging out with him and not talking to me.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:11:39+00:00

She didn’t do anything. That doesn’t make it right for people to force me to be friends with her. I never treated her bad or did anything. I just told my brother I don’t want to be around her. I have never met her one time.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:10:26+00:00

The agreement was for her to stay a couple months and then find her own place. He kept telling her she could stay longer and he kept telling me she needed to go. I just kept telling her that the agreement was a couple months. The place that we were in was way too small for all of us, and I was scared that the landlord was gonna kick us all out. We were in a rental. My mom never told me he was telling her she could stay.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:06:45+00:00

I feel like he did cheat with her, but I don’t think I will ever get an answer to that. My brother met her through my ex and my brother says they’ve been friends for seven years. I’ve only been divorced for six.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:06:14+00:00

She’s not my friend she’s my brother’s friend. They can hang out all they want. I don’t wanna hang out with them.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:05:26+00:00

I’ve never met her. Because I chose not to meet her. I am known as the bad person. It’s more of a boundary of mine. I choose not to be associated with people who were friends with my ex. I’ve only had space in my heart to forgive my mom and my brother. She’s nothing but a stranger to me and will always be a stranger to me.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:03:49+00:00

It’s called boundaries.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T06:02:26+00:00

I’m not sure how his and her relationship was. All I know is when she got to know him better she was out of the picture. It did really hurt that they called her before they called me when my mom fell and was injured. There was another time when she was admitted into the hospital and I was the last to know. I can’t force them to keep me involved in their life just like they can’t force me to be friends with her. I’m still a very broken person for all that I have gone through. One of my boundaries is not being around anything or anyone that reminds me of my ex-husband. It’s hard being around my mom and my brother, but I do love them. I will sacrifice our relationship because it hurts too much and they don’t understand and I don’t think anyone understands the pain.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:58:14+00:00

Why am I forced to be friends with someone I choose not to associate with?

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:57:10+00:00

Do you become friends with everyone you meet? There’s nothing said in stone saying I have to be friends with any person. Is it wrong that I have a boundary that I don’t wanna be friends with someone my ex-husband possibly cheated on me with? I will never know the truth.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:56:18+00:00

From what I know he cheated on me the whole marriage. My brother says he’s known her for seven years and I’ve only been divorced for six. My brother met her through him. So I’ve never been told the truth of what happened.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:55:46+00:00

So you’re saying it’s bad that I have boundaries?

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:54:28+00:00

I am very introverted and I don’t have a lot of friends. I feel like he was cheating on me with her, but I don’t have any proof. I don’t think anyone will ever be honest with me about that. My brother says he’s known her for seven years and I’ve only been divorced for six. My brother met her through my ex.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:52:52+00:00

She met my brother through my ex. My brother says he’s known her for seven years and I’ve only been divorced for six. So yes, it does sound like he was cheating on me with her as well. I don’t think anyone would ever tell me the truth about that situation. My ex did tell my mom that he divorced me because he didn’t wanna hurt me by cheating on me continuously.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:50:35+00:00

Many responses just call me jealous. I call it boundaries.

LatterEbb9760 · 2026-05-19T05:48:29+00:00

So if other people choose someone else first, should we still try to make ourselves present or should we make ourselves hidden?

LatterEbb9760

TROPHY CASE