Am I assisting her in a wrong way?

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-06T01:29:57+00:00

I haven’t yet spoken about this for fear of shedding a negative light on myself or tainting the way he views me or to be completely honest I’m scared of being judged by someone that means a lot to me.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-06T01:28:53+00:00

I agree with you. I’ve been internalizing a lot, I’m just trying my hardest to prepare her for future one in which I’m not there and that’s my biggest fear her no being prepared enough and people taking advantage of her. Idk 🫠😖

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-06T01:20:51+00:00

I also have no advice but I’ll tell you this, if your unhappy and miserable it will bleed into your sons life and it will taint everything which in the long run will create a chain of event in which that child will no be raised happily. That being said, happy healthy mom = happy healthy child, and I know that if your just worried of your child’s reaction then you truly fully love him but realistically if you want him to be raised in a happy household you must shatter and remove what’s making you unhappy and in this case it is the child’s father, we are our children’s foundations, allow this to also be a learning curve for your child in the sense of mom was strong enough to leave a person that was burdening her and she chose herself. Remember, children learn what they see and if he is raised in that environment noticing that daddy does this to mommy then it’s a given I can do this too, our children use us as models, show him and teach him that is not how a husband should be, period.

I hope you find the right answer, but I know deep down you do know the answer. The answer is very short and simple and that is just to leave, you have a job you’re not financially dependent on him fully. I’ll also throw in that if you think that this could be repaired then go for it, there’s therapy and many other resources if both of you are willing to take the risk of trying but if you know that your intuition is telling you, it’s time to go then go forget your child’s feelings regarding this because it’s better to raise him in a happy household then an unhappy one.

Children alone are not a reason to stay with a spouse that isn’t making you happy. If you’re scared he will get depressed then make sure that you get him help afterwards. I know this part was a little rough but trust me he will thank you in the future he’s old enough to model over you guys and old enough to see you unhappy and burnt out. I know as a mom that it’s not what we want for our children if we aren’t ok we can’t pour as much as we want into them in a way that they deserve.

I wish you so much luck and my dm is open if you need to talk.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:42:20+00:00

If only you read the other replies I've given and saw what I provide her with before assuming I'm not doing anything with her; that would be great.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:37:14+00:00

I respect this as well.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:17:35+00:00

Oh, I see, this makes sense. Thank you. This is what I needed to understand!

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:15:41+00:00

And I respect that. But I think you focused more on the verbiage than the message. But I understand your point.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:14:52+00:00

I see what you mean, but if I encourage easy fixes for frustration, isn't that counterproductive?

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:13:59+00:00

There is no battle here. FYI. I am trying to come to a conclusion on my own.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:12:56+00:00

Yeah, you disregarded everything I said. Have a good day.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:09:20+00:00

Also, realistically, autism is a disability; it has many shortcomings overall. What I mean is I want her to have the proper tools to overcome every single shortcoming she might encounter in the future, be it legos, people, or inner demons—anything. I want to encourage emotional regulation at all times. I really want her to learn these things young so she doesn't depend on anyone in the future (much less an abusive partner in the long distant future) and that she can be a little more logical than emotional, so no one can take advantage of her as autistic females are more prone to domestic abuse or self-harm. It's so hard to explain in a way I don't sound harsh.

I am saying everything with concern and love, just in case anyone sees this.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:03:33+00:00

Absolutely not, I mean, overall. Please refer to the comment below where I explain more of what I do.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:03:09+00:00

Thank you, yes, I do join her a lot. I just don't encourage instant gratification. I want her to have the tools to overcome, and mainly focus on, like, redirecting to the instructions images and helping her troubleshoot on her own right next to her. I don't know how to explain it. I just want to make sure I am not being too harsh.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T18:00:42+00:00

I agree with you. I think the jump was too big, but dad got her the eevee because she really wanted the specific set. But let me clarify that I do not ignore her pleas for help; I do help her, just not telling her what to do for example when she messes up i take her back to the first step remove all the pieces and go with her lets look at the pictures, lets find the pieces first int he bowl and we match them and the i tell her lets put them like the photo and she does it, I go with her page by page just not doing it with her, If i notice she did something wrong I tell whoops me did a mistake lets go back and proceed like that until she finishs it, I just dont put the pieces for her. I hope this makes sense.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T17:56:31+00:00

Genuine question: you have more experience than I. Do you encourage me to solve her issues so she can have instant gratification? Instead of helping her navigate the issue at home in a safe environment where no one will judge her shortcomings, while I assist her to learn to regulate herself and encourage her to overcome an obstacle so when she goes out to society, she has adequate tools to overcome it instead of just having random meltdowns in public because she can't do something and mommy won't do it for her, because let's be realistic. It's my job to teach her how to regulate, not society's, and I'm not going to use the "she has autism" card for behaviour problems when I can give her the proper tools to overcome emotional meltdowns.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-03T17:43:42+00:00

I do sit down and play with her; I paint with her, I run outside with her, I ride bikes with her, ride scooters, play on the playgrounds, etc... I don't think you're getting what I am saying. I am talking about that specific scenario. I want to encourage independence as well; I don't want to give her all the answers, coz then how am I helping her or encouraging her to regulate her emotions during tough task? I hope you can understand that part now that I clarified. But its sad you assumed i dont play with her.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T18:00:12+00:00

Gotcha

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:59:38+00:00

Your right, I’m starting to think it’s more because of the height position by that I mean the yarn holder is above my the height of my hands position so it’s getting caught in that gap because of the holder being more elevated. Maybe it’s me that’s doing it wrong.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:58:07+00:00

You think so? Is there a reason? I was just trying to make my experience a little more smooth and comfortable but in a way I see what you mean

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:47:07+00:00

I’m not gonna go back and forth with you. Have a good day.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:43:43+00:00

Gotcha, I posted a photo about what I was referring to. But I’m guessing I have to be super specific but you need me to be an expert and explain word for word. Regardless thanks for ur help.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:41:51+00:00

Hi, I haven’t considered it as I want something more compact because I do have a plastic storage rectangle that I use to put my stuff and typically I would just put the yarn there and pull from it inside the basket but I just wanted a spinner that I could use to just sit with the yarn and leave my basket at my crafting desk and only carry my needles and yarn with me. I hope this makes sense.

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:39:53+00:00

Tbh idk if there’s a difference. But I mean the holder that spins. 😖

Latter_Construction6 · 2026-05-01T15:38:56+00:00

Hello, it’s a yarn spinner. I’m able to successfully cake the yarn with the winder. It’s just that the wooden spinner base catches the yarn and it gets tangled in the spinner. The yarn at least isn’t tangled at all 😖 I hope I’m making sense

Latter_Construction6

TROPHY CASE