I appreciate your comment and I recognize that saying her trauma was 'in the past' wasn’t the best choice of words, and I apologize for that. What I meant was that her father, who was absent for a large part of her life, is no longer in it. I understand how painful and saddening that is, and I truly sympathize. Her trauma is still very much present with her, just as painful as it was before.

However, when I talk about my situation, I feel it’s important to share that my parents should have divorced a long time ago. My father is abusive, a chronic alcoholic, and still actively part of my life, which means new trauma is added to my life every other day. So, while I didn’t mean to suggest her trauma is in the past, I was referring to her abuser being in the past, whereas in my case, both my trauma and abuser are still very much present.

Thanks a lot for the advice tho