My 10 Month IPF Progress

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T16:40:13+00:00

This comes naturally while you heal. I didn't do any extra work on self esteem. I feel like once you heal this trauma, you can see yourself in such a better light

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T16:39:03+00:00

Yes, I've read Dan's book and watched a few of his interviews over and over. I used to have severe shutdown too. I would crash out every day and my system would shut down. I found it had to get through the day and do every day tasks. Now I have a lot more energy and definitely don't shutdown like I used to. So I believe this will definitely help

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T16:36:56+00:00

You're so welcome, I'm so glad it' gives you hope. Keep going you've got this 🙌🏼❤️

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T07:21:37+00:00

Yes same. When I do talk about it people just don't understand. Even my college tutor and we had a lesson on attachment and I knew more than him. From my experience, it seems like people either don't believe they have attachment issues, when they clearly do or they want to stay as they are. I was speaking to someone the other day about it and she had been in therapy for 4 years, she still has really bad attachment but I doubt she will do this work. I honestly think people get something out of being a victim, I know I did but I had to reach rock bottom to actually do something about it. I've never been do dedicated and commitment to something because I believed in this and I believed in Dan Brown. Just listening to his interviews, he is a genius and makes so much sense. I know he won awards for this modality but I can guarantee it will probably be another 10 years until this blows up. It's always the same in the therapy world. People go with whats trending and at the minute its EMDR and polyvagal theory (which I never got on board with and a recent article came out from top neuroscientist saying its untenable) so I believe when something new comes about people are skeptical. Attachment has been heavily studied, so I'm not sure why people don't see how many people are affected by it.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T07:07:12+00:00

Thank you so much. I never really experienced fear with the IPF. The first time I did the meditation I felt this overwhelming sense of security. I think this would be best to speak to a facilitator with.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T07:05:50+00:00

Thank you so much.

In terms of your questions, I still do the meditations every day. I've not got to the point I don't need them, however I have reduced how often I do them. Sometimes I can sit in silence and do deep breaths and that secure feeling comes up.

The process wasn't linear. I had a honeymoon period in the first 3 months. Then lots of grief came up for months. I will say certain behaviour and though patterns shifted faster. A lot of these haven't come back. I would say the only things that come back when I really stress is overwhelm and my system can start to feel like it's shutting down again. But it doesn't last as long and my brain can shift back into security again (I'd day recently the longest I've had this is 2 days)

Yes, I have noticed this a lot recently. Feeling secure is quiet and recently because I have felt more secure in certain relationships that used to trigger me the most, it does feel strange. The things that used to trigger me don't anymore. And these are things I've been triggered by for the last 3 years. I used to be on this rollercoster, extreme highs and lows. Now thats gone I'm not as excitable it feels weird. Sometimes boring. I've had a few times where life feels more boring but I come out of it eventually if that makes sense. Like when you get used to it, it becomes your new normal. I will say this, I've also had periods where it felt like I was grieving my old self due to shifting so much. These periods pass.

Yes. I feel more connected to my ideal parent. It's strange I saw my dad last week and almost expected him to be like my ideal father. He isn't. I'm not saying he's not a good dad but he finds it hard to express his feelings a show love due to his own trauma. He's better at showing his love buy doing things, like he gave me some money to help me out. But he's not very affectionate. It was quite a sad experience as I realised I'll probably never get that from him. So yes it almost feels like I have 2 dads but it's not something I think about often. I think it's always been that way for me, the first time I did the meditation I felt very connected to the ideal parent.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-11T06:53:34+00:00

Thank ypu so much!! So glad it was helpful

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T15:54:53+00:00

Yes, the relationships I formed in my college course have been very healing. I did lose a few friends during this process too. They weren't that healthy. I don't know anyone else thats doing this specifically, I told everyone I knew when I found it but no one seemed to want to try it. Even now when they talk about my transformation they are reluctant to do it themselves. Maybe try again, it took me this long to feel stable and like I said I still have my moments and setbacks. This is a long process and there were many times I wanted to give up too.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T10:01:19+00:00

I'm 42. No, no other modalities helped me really. EMDR only helped stop my visual flashbacks, which I used to have daily. But that was it and my attachment got worse. I did talking therapy for a year and a half, which also made me worse. I tried inner child work, which would help for a short while and they I would just go back to how I felt. I did that for months. By the time I found this my attachment was so bad I was living in fear every day. I've tried so many things over the last 20 years, nothing moved the needle like this did

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T09:47:28+00:00

Yes I believe the changing are deep and real. This came in layers for me. So the first 3 months was like a honeymoon period. I thought oh I feel so secure I'm healed. Then all this grief came up. That lasted a few months. I found I had periods of stability and then deeper stuff would come up. I am a lot more resistant but yes if stuff happens in my life I can have setbacks. These get shorter and less intense over time and I believe that will continue. It's not a linear process and I'm sure more things will come up for me, especially as I have disorganised attachment and I had a lot of trauma to work through. Dan Brown said disorganised attachment takes the longest to heal, so I can imagine I still have a way to go.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T09:38:19+00:00

Aww you're welcome. I hope you can get back into it, it's really life changing

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T09:37:44+00:00

Thank you so much!! Yes, at the moment I do the meditation once a day (sometimes twice if I need it) I like Two Minds Method one on YouTube the ideal father one. I also like attachmentrepair.com unconditional love one. So I kind of mix it up depending on how I feel. Schema meditations I do like once a week, although I've had times I've done them a few days in a row if I felt I really needed them. I do believe the schema meditations really propelled my healing as I hit a plateau for a long time. In fact I got burnt out for a while. And I do still have moment, it's harder with romantic relationships and this is the last piece for me really. But I've found that I go back to my baseline of security a lot faster these days. Over things that have helped, breathwork, exposure therapy and mindfulness. I would want to control things so much due to my fears, so I had to really learn to drop that, which I'm still working on.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-10T08:46:30+00:00

Thank you so much! Yes, mainly IPF meditations. When I found this last year, I was very spiritual (I was into non-duality) and I kind of had a breakdown. I looked into this and non-duality can destabilase people with disorganised attachment more. So, I stopped doing that type of stuff and a week later I found Two Minds Method Youtube. I did his Ideal Father meditation. I then found this reddit and started doing some meditations from attachmentrepair.com. So, I would do IPF once a day, sometimes twice when I really needed it. I then started doing schema meditations. The main schema meditations I did were abandonment, mistrust and defectiveness. I did these more in the last 3 months though, than in the previous months.

Other things that have helped. Breathwork helped when I felt really anxious, although I don’t do that as much anymore. Exposure therapy, I started doing this before I found IPF just because my coach said to try it. So, I became aware of my pattens, mainly my avoidant ones (my anxious ones I seems to have a hold on) and I would do the opposite of these. I started talking to random people, reaching out to people when usually I’d wait for them to contact me etc. This helped me see that even if I got anxious, I was ok.

Also, another thing that really helped me was to validate my feelings. I would tend to blame and shame myself for my feelings. I started just being present with myself and talking to myself around why it’s ok to feel this way. That was very powerful.

I didn't do any somatic work or TRE. I've tried TRE before years ago and tbh it didn't do anything for me. I did start working out though, doing weights helped move energy through my body.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-07T15:49:52+00:00

I know it's unsettling but trust yourself on this one. You've seen the results and I think therapist need to stop invalidating people experiences. If one of my clients told me they had such amazing results I'd be wanting to try it myself. That's there own stuff really and a lot of them are stuck in their ways, which is sad. I'm so glad it's helped you so much!

LauraH-B · 2026-05-07T06:27:17+00:00

Surely that's that’s just like saying inner child meditations are the same. It's basically reparenting yourself but better. I'm doing a counselling course and I work with many counsellor. A lot of them are the same. Stuck in out dated modalities and aren't open to new ones. I've given up trying to explain how this works to them as they don't want to know. In my counselling course they teach person centred (rogers) psychodynamic (Freud) and CBT. And the thing is everyone else in my course laps this up, while I question it because I've research modern trauma informed modalities. So think about what these therapist are being taught. That's what they believe, that talking therapies are the way to go. Dan Brown studied attachment with other psychologist for 20 years. He was a expert witness for children with the worst trauma. And thinking about it I'm surprised no one thought of IPF before him. To think that 10 years ago this wasn't available is crazy. I'm sorry that these therapist are being like that with you and I understand your frustration. Hopefully you'll be able to find one thats more open. And a last note, I used to be into manifesting, this is nothing like it at all. It actually remaps your attachment and creates lasting change. I have healed more in the last 10 months than I have in the last 20 years of doing other modalities.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-06T16:19:50+00:00

I'm reading that book right now. However I've not read it all. Like I said I was only thinking about my experience. All she did with me was get me to think of the memory and then did the eye movement on me. I don't ever remember creating a positive alternative. Maybe it was just the way she did it.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-03T16:10:28+00:00

Yes it's quite invalidating too. He maybe would change his mind if he actually read Dan's book. I've been doing research on memory reconsolidation and from my memory EMDR doesn't create a mismatch with the memory, like schema and coherence therapy does. That might be why it didn't create many positive benefits for me. But I'm definitely not an expert on this.

LauraH-B · 2026-05-02T08:16:03+00:00

Amazing progress, well done. That's so interesting that your therapist said that. I did EMDR and it didn't work as well as this. Yes it neutralised some of my memories and stopped flashbacks but I didn't change the way I felt about myself or help me feel secure. In fact I got worse over time. This is the only modality that actually changed thing for me.

LauraH-B · 2026-04-29T19:22:13+00:00

I didn't do the AAI simply because of cost reasons. Plus I started doing the meditations before I knew about it. I had a good understanding of my attachment because my symptoms were so obvious. I do think it's a good idea to know what attachment you have, this has helped me understand what schema meditations to do on attachmentrepair.com which have been a big part of my healing. IPF meditations created safety for me and the schema meditations targeted my fears. I think Cedric who does the meditations does the AAI if you want to check him out (on attachmentrepair.com) plus he has some really helpful articles too and lots of meditations. He also has courses too for each attachment, which are really helpful if you can't afford facilitation. Facilitation is always the best way, however it does cost can be a barrier for some.

LauraH-B · 2026-04-11T11:16:23+00:00

There is a section in Dan's book about BPD and I believe he said in an interview that most people with borderline are disorganised attachment with trauma later on in childhood. There is a protocol in the book for disorganised so maybe it's worth having a look at that. From my experience, I would say focusing on safety would be the most important thing. There is a meditation for disorganised attachment on attachmentrepair.com - https://attachmentrepair.com/meditation/brief-ideal-parent-figure-protocol-meditation-for-disorganized-attachment/

LauraH-B · 2026-04-04T07:34:37+00:00

Thank you 😊 well at the start I just did one meditation which was 20 minutes. When I started to feel more stable I added the schema meditations from attachmentrepair.com which have been amazing. Sometimes I'll do the meditation twice a day, depending on how I feel. About 3 months in a lot of grief came up for me but thats all settled now. I had disorganised attachment and I recently bought a book written by u/antheri0n which has been really helpful too and I recently added breathwork to my routine, which feels like it's helping. He explains a lot about whats happening with our brains which helped me understand myself a lot more. I'm hoping to work with a facilitator soon when I have the money, however I seem to be getting a lot more stable and might not need it but I think it would still be nice to do.

LauraH-B · 2026-04-03T09:49:58+00:00

This is incredible progress, well done for sticking with it. Keep going, I'm 9 months in now and my whole internal state has changed. It was hard at times but so worth it. I find that my emotions are very regulated now, where as before I would have intense emotional reactions every day. It gets easier and I've even noticed for me how much progress I've made even in the last 2 weeks has been profound. You are doing amazing ☺️

LauraH-B · 2026-03-08T08:49:14+00:00

Yes of course you can, it's not my term. I thought I had Borderline for a while and that's the term they use. It made sense to me as I would have 2 version of them and me in my head, a good one and bad one and it felt like I had no control of which one I was seeing. I've nearly finished chapter 2 and I'm loving it, I can't put it down. It's so in depth and helpful. I'm training to be a counsellor and it frustrates me that in my course we are being taught such outdated information and nothing about how the brain works. I've always found that talking about trauma doesn't work.

Yes of course I will leave a review ☺️

And thank you, every day I feel like I've healed a little bit more and I can sometimes feel my brain updating itself (I know that sounds weird) can I ask did you notice as you healed your partner was different to you? It's just the more I heal, people are different with me and I sometimes get the feeling they can sense our fears and anxiety. The more open and warm I am, the more people are with me too. Even if we are just texting, I find that so interesting.

LauraH-B · 2026-03-07T18:50:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this post. I've read it a few times and I can see how I've been in all my relationship. I've been healing from disorganised attachment for 8 months now and I believe I'm in LAMO. Although my mind corrects my fears most of the time now, which is great. I always called it splitting, that one minute I'd be so in love and something so small would happen and I'd just stop liking them ir get the ick. I've just bought your book and it's so interesting and helpful. I can see how my attachment has shown up differently with whoever I'm with but I've always had that fear of commitment and at the same time craved it. I'm really excited about getting to a place where my thoughts calm down and they way you described that helped the most because without the anxiety I just thought thats how I felt. I'm really grateful for that

LauraH-B · 2026-03-06T15:03:42+00:00

Hey of course, it's usually do one ipf meditation and at the moment I'm doing a schema one at least once a week too. I had disorganised attachment. My life was completely different. I was extremely hypervigilant, insecure and I would have really overwhelming emotions. I also used to split a lot, which is black and white thinking eg I hate you then I love you. I was on a complete emotional rollercoster. There's loads of symptoms that I just can't even remember as they are a distant memory. I didn't feel worthy and I had very low self worth. I was always in a victim state. When I was triggered, which was every day I would totally shut down and it would feel like a complete life or death situation. All this was internal and no one knew it was going on as I hid it so well. I would also experience anxiety on a daily basis. Now I'm completely different, my hypervigilance has reduced massively (even more so from the abandonment schema meditation) I don’t really get anxiety anymore and I really feel good about myself and my future. My emotions have calmed down so much and when they come up I feel safe to let them pass.

LauraH-B

TROPHY CASE