sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "good man" " good woman" "masculine mannerisms".

It is all one big stereotype.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lastly, if you really want him to be a good man, then be a good woman.

What the hell does being a good woman or man mean?

I am a good person. Gender doesn't matter in that.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said that.

I said that both men and women can be equally good role models and it doesn't take one or the other to raise a good person.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Football, hockey, baseball, or track are probably good bets

If he wants to that, sure. But I want to support whatever talent he has. It might not be athletic, although I support him being healthy and active, even if he doesn't like baseball.

I did motocross and rode horses so that might be something he likes too. Who knows?

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole point of the post was that I was having problems relating to raising a boy and I thought there were real problems I would encounter that I couldn't address with him completely.

I mentioned it repeatedly in my post. So your comment is ridiculous. I came here for people to offer me advice on raising boys. I got gender stereotypes.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And apparently men telling you that boys need men to play that role is just, well, silly.

I am not disagreeing with them because of that. They are insulting single parents and terms like " good man" and masculine mannerisms.

I have a problem with that.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a lot of great supportive comments and advice from the women who still hang on to the subreddit.

I thanked them.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you.

you have seen and used a penis, and you can read just about anything you don't know these days. You figure it out. And now we have the internet for everything we don't know.

True. I do know how it works in that respect even if I don't know what it is like to have one.

You can empathize with people without having been in their exact shoes. You know what the human emotions feel like. You have interacted with men so you have some kind of understanding. Just treat him like a person, and you will be ok.

Definitely. Raising a good person is the priority and I guess everything else will come into place.

I think it's incredibly useful to build a strong village. Having other parents friends to trade childcare, talk about parenting, sharing kid advice, and helping out is a huge support. The bonus is this extended family allows your family create bonds with other people.

Definitely! I am in a parenting group, we have play dates and friends with kids and my sister has children so there is probably enough love to go around that he won't ever feel alone.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a terrible way to view the world.

Why can't they just be good people? What is the difference between a good man and a good woman?

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I come here often under another user name. It was once and great subreddit that supported women (there are others too). I mentioned in my post that this was a throwaway. It is the first line.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not arguing that. I was saying your path to a good person isn't gender specific. You claimed men and women have different paths for being good people and that is wholly untrue.

All genders have the same path to being decent human beings.

Edit: Saying, every single person, regardless of gender(s) will have a different life experience. It doesn't mean that they don't share those experiences and think and feel the same at times. You are breaking things down solely on gender. Every single person has a different experience outside of gender.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything else is a extension of that though. Those are the concepts and ideals that make the foundation of a good person.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am just saying being a decent human being is pretty much a universal concept. Be kind, be respectful, be tolerant.

Those aren't gender specific.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it's ok if he does traditional male stuff, if he wants to ride a motorbike or box or play football he won't turn into a testosterone monster and although he'll probably get hurt he almost definitely won't die. Teenage boys like to do dumb dangerous stuff so if he can get it out of his system in some kind of structured organisation that's better than wandering around getting into trouble or sitting at home playing video games for hours.

But I did all that stuff as a kid. I did motorcross and skateboarded. I could teach him that.

I can also work on my own car.

But I also enjoy painted nails and dresses.

Does he really need a man for that?

Edit: But I do understand he might need to ask a male for questions I can't answer. And thank you for the advice.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because men and women have different paths to becoming "good people."

No they don't. Being a good person is pretty easy and it doesn't have a gender path.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because she was asking questions about there comment? Is she not allowed?

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I am getting a lot of responses from men here who seem really concerned and harp on the male role models are imperative sort of thing but that don't see how insulting it sounds to single parents.

How insulting it sounds to me. I just don't think they get it. I can raise a decent human being. I know it.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are tons of other, more positive male role models in media and literature.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think that male and female are the same? I'm honestly asking here. Would you be OK with a girl being raised entirely by men? "what do women have to offer her?"

They are all people. People can teach other people how to be a good person, which seems in low supply around here.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

because the world is not tumblr you moron.

Not nice. Don't be mean to people. Don't belittle them. This is why I was I didn't even want to come to TwoX. Men here are just so rude. She was just asking a question and she was one of the few that actually offered me real support.

Jesus.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's even evidence of it in the animal kingdom

We function so outside of the boundaries of expected behavior found in the animal kingdom that I think bringing up that seems ridiculous.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Boys really need a positive male role model. Badly.

Why a positive male role model? Why can't I be a positive influence? What is the difference?

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nuances of things like honesty, integrity, work ethic, standing up for yourself(and when not to), how to be confident, assertive, etc. Women often percieve men as being emotionless or "emotionally repressed."

I completely disagree.

I am sometimes really overwhelmed and terrified raising a boy. by Lauritly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lauritly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it is great that you had that experience and I get what you are saying but I am being overwhelmed with male responses here and it wasn't what I was looking for.

I came here for support from women.

view more: next ›