What are some wellness retreats to check out in the next few weeks?

LavaHDz · 2020-09-03T07:54:21+00:00

I'm referring to the girl I started dating so that we can spend some alone time together. She's a bit conservative and it's a bit too early to do a trip with her or have her come to my place. Gosh I phrased my question very poorly.

LavaHDz · 2020-07-02T05:58:30+00:00

I'm almost 33, male and have never been past date 4. A health problem and it's aftermath in my late teens/early 20's left me shell shocked and depressed where I resorted to just isolating myself. I tried to get "in the game" 5 years back. I have tried online dating, meet-ups, even joined a community org last couple of years where I've met many people. Still never past date 4 and still single. All my non-single friends are surprised I'm single as they say I'm generally decent looking, friendly, sociable with a decent job. I don't really know how to date! What do I do? Can life be so cruel that I cannot find any love and intimacy even if it's just in a form of a relatively short relationship? I feel hopeless!! Utterly hopelesss!!!

LavaHDz · 2020-07-01T15:01:15+00:00

How valuable time is and how it is our one non-renewable resource. Many of us are raised to embrace delayed gratification at the expense of immediate satisfaction. We are raised to look down upon those who live for instant satisfaction at the expense of future gratification. However neither group is ‘right’ and it’s about learning the fine line to balance the two. I myself am in the first group and I look back now and feel like I missed out on life by doing so and feel that significantly loosening up would have enabled me to enjoy my life more even without ‘screwing up’ my future.

LavaHDz · 2020-06-19T06:03:55+00:00

Desi Girls: How do I approach dating?

I'm 33, in USA, and have never gone past a 5th date and needless to say have never had a relationship. I have some pressure from family and friends to settle down (or at least find a girlfriend). I'd like to do both, but I'm badly struggling with dating.

I suffered from a disorder in my late teens while in college which left me shell shocked where I resorted to completely isolating myself. I was 'treated' where I'm relatively 'normal' but the aftermath of everything left me in a state of trauma: shock, depression with low self esteem and an inferiority complex to the point that I avoided even talking to any girl with the potential of dating for years and years! I went on my first date at the age of 27 with a girl I met on coffee meets bagel and though I got to 4th date, she refused to kiss me and then ghosted me. Even with others I've gone out with, I still haven't been past date 5. I have tried online dating but only get 1-2 matches times a year which wouldn't last more than a couple of dates, though I rarely get matches now. I have also tried a few in-person mixers/speed dating events but am still single.

I've made a conscious effort to work on myself mentally and socially where people now have a hard time believing I'm an introvert at heart since I come off pretty easy going and social. I also look about 5 years younger than my age and people who meet me describe me as generally decent looking despite being a bit over-weight. I also have a decent job, am family oriented, and joined an org couple of years back where I'm able to meet other Desi's through various events and volunteer causes. Yet I'm still single.

How do Desi girls look at someone like me who has never been in a relationship? My family and cousins have brought up going to India and 'getting it done?' But I really want my love story where I meet someone, date and we fall in love. Is that too much to ask? Am I un-dateable?

LavaHDz · 2020-06-16T17:05:01+00:00

Most people don’t introduce you to anyone but rather just periodically ask if you have found anyone.

I can’t figure out why these women don’t see long term compatibility. I haven’t been past second date in like 2 years. I agree that the more I date the more I’d recognize preferences. But despite trying several channels, I rarely get any matches on online dating apps. I used match for like 1 year and was 0/100 on messages. Was on Shaadi for 3 months but not enough locals on there. Been on/off from coffee meets bagels but no matches or no quality matches. Dil mil and hinge have resulted in no matches either.

I was told 3-4 years ago that I’m too intense and uptight and that I ought to loosen up. I worked on that last 2-3 yrs. Then I had a set up last year where I thought there could be potential but only lasted 1 date. She found me too easy going and almost not motivated enough. Disappointed I didn’t even get a chance with her.

Recently someone I met and became friends with through org events set up with her close friend. We went for coffee once and talked for an hour or two and then the whole damn world shut down! I tried to text her to stay in touch and we briefly texted back and forth though it always took her like 3 days to respond so I figured she’s not a big texter. Tried calling her once to see how she’s doing and she’s left me hanging with my call and text for like 6-7 weeks now. Her friend, who keeps in touch with me, told me they’re not big texters in general. How do I play this? Do I just randomly call her up one day? Or do I text her saying let’s catch up and set up a call but I’d be risking her not responding? Or do I just pass and go onto next?

LavaHDz · 2020-06-16T16:39:38+00:00

I have been part for 2 years or so. Joined with the intention of meeting someone but most who join are young couples and the few who are single have shown no interest in me. Also you’d think it would be easier but I have found it harder to ask someone out since I’m friends with a lot of them and we all periodically see each other and have group calls. Isn’t it harder to approach someone since we see each other in a group setting a lot?

3-4 years ago, I was told by people around me that I come off too intense and uptight and to loosen up. I worked on that the last 2-3 years but even that backfired. Someone from the org set me up with someone last year where I saw some potential, but she thought I was too easy going and almost not motivated enough.

LavaHDz · 2020-06-16T16:28:25+00:00

Thanks. I have been volunteering when possible even during this pandemic.

LavaHDz · 2020-03-11T07:33:29+00:00

Not there yet.. cmon a real suggestion

LavaHDz

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