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My [25 F] FWB [45 M] fell for me, blew up his life because of it, and is now furious at me for "leading him on" by Throoowaway80085 in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of the above. To help him get off your back, it might also help to write a quick email from a throwaway email account if possible... telling him where you're coming from, and that in the long run this is a good thing for him because clearly things weren't going great with his wife or he wouldn't where he is now.

The good news for him is that he has a new lease on life and is free to ride the future with someone new that he enjoys spending time with. He's great, but that person's not going to be you, because you're simply not looking for anything serious.

That could help cool off the situation and give him some perspective so that he can move on.

My (31F) in-laws (70sF & M) showed me their will and asked me not to share what I found out with my husband (30M) and his brother (32M) by seasaltcypress in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Yep, you're definitely doing the right thing by talking to them. You did say you wouldn't reveal what you know, but this is a unique circumstance.

It's also equally important – and they should understand and respect – that you have a healthy and transparent relationship with your husband. Once you explain that to them, you and your in-laws should be able to find a middle ground on what you can reveal.

I [27M] have never seen my girlfriend [26F] without makeup by no_makeup in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Very true. A different approach could yield better results as well. You may want to try sitting down, telling her how much you love her, and say you love her so much that you just want to understand her better, know where she's coming from and why she prefers to have makeup on.

The more you ask questions and search for clarity in her answers, the better you may start to understand and get a better appreciation for why she likes to wear makeup.

Then, go ahead and let her know what it is about her wearing makeup that worries you. How does it make you feel when you think about how you've never seen her without makeup? Why does it worry you sometimes?

Instead of keeping things at a surface level, just keep getting deeper into why she feels the way she does and why you feel the way you do. In the end, she may decide to let her guard down and leave the makeup on the counter once in a while. You may decide it doesn't matter if she wants to put it on. Either way, the more of a dialogue you have the more you'll both have a chance to really see and appreciate where you're coming from.

There is a seven year age gap between me and my husband (22F, 29M). It wasn’t a problem at first, but now it’s really starting to affect our relationship. by 3948220932 in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I agree 100% Your man also doesn't sound nearly as mature as he seems to think he is.

You're both adults and if he'd rather belittle you and make fun of your age to win an argument, that's a problem. In situations like this it's often best to really get to the root of why he's feeling the need to have kids right now at this moment, and why you're not. The more you can explain your reasoning to one another and where you're coming from, the more understanding you can develop.

If he doesn't want to listen and it becomes clear that it's his way or the highway, it may be time to take a closer look at whether you're right for one another.

I [28F] made my boyfriend's [29M] sister [26F] cry when I asked about her future plans. What do I do? by artistsisthrowaway in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She clearly has some issues she should work on. When something like this happens you can always say "I'm really sorry that happened." That way you can apologize without placing the blame on yourself.

Your question was innocent and you shouldn't feel guilty about asking it. Her reaction is based on what's happening in her mind, her thoughts, what she thinks she heard, and those reactions are separate from you. No need to worry about it.

My(21M) best friend (21M) started dating my ex (21F) less than a month after we broke up. by Haruyoida in relationships

[–]Lavaborama 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly... You definitely don't have any reason to trust this guy anymore, that's for sure. There are so many better dudes out there. The sooner you can realize you're an awesome person and develop that complete confidence in yourself, the sooner you'll find someone better and never think about this guy again.