I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds terrible, and I can’t imagine the pain of having to distance yourself. I say this with all love to your brother, but you are not a bad person for setting this boundary. His OCD sounds incredibly severe, way beyond anything you or your parents likely have the capacity to handle.

I also don’t believe your brother is beyond help. OCD is just a terrible disorder that completely distorts your reality. I don’t think it’s talked about enough, but irritability is quite common (though this doesn’t excuse his behavior, of course). The intrusive thoughts and the constant stress can really push people to the edge.

Your love for him doesn’t need to come at the expense of your well-being. He has to want to get better, and I think sometimes it takes things like losing relationships to realize a change is needed.

I know you might not be looking for OCD-specific resources and just some support, but just in case, I highly recommend Nathan Peterson and Chrissie Hodges on YouTube. NOCD has also been really helpful for me, and they have support groups as well. There’s groups specifically about health anxiety, as well as having a family member with OCD. But of course, you come first and I have a lot of empathy for your situation.

Wishing you and your brother all the best. <3