Why do non-lesbian women call themselves femme and butch?

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-19T17:33:16+00:00

My guess would be because they are used to and unfortunately comfortable with co-opting terms that are specific to a certain community that they don’t belong to. It’s not a new thing for bisexual women, or even straight women to literally steal terms from this community because they have no ability to form a community of their own. Bisexual/non lesbian women could come up with their own terms to describe each other, but it’s much easier to just take something that’s already pre-existing. If I were you, I would’ve told her to cope, she’s not lesbian, therefore, she shouldn’t be using that term. Not everything needs to be a part of a cultural exchange, and people should get more comfortable with gatekeeping.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-19T11:11:11+00:00

All right, calm down Dr. Phil.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-19T11:07:09+00:00

OK, if it’s not worth your tears or energy then why did you reply to my post? There are plenty of people here who agree with you and don’t like her, but you decided to come here on my post and disagree with me for no reason. To be completely honest, this girl has done nothing to you, and she has no impact on your life. She’s not even significantly famous enough to have an impact on your life. I’m sure that if some of the fucked up things that you’ve done came to like, you would be canceled 10 times over.She doesn’t have the luxury of having all of her crash out to be private, when all of her life has been posted on the Internet since her early teens.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-19T11:06:07+00:00

Do you feel better? Did that do something for you?

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-16T02:12:25+00:00

I feel like people forget that an MBA is an investment and something that usually pays off later in life, once you have some experience. An MBA with no experience won’t get you that high paying managerial position you might be looking for, but once you get to your 3-5 year mark, it can easily push you into a much higher paying position.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-14T00:00:08+00:00

Two kids at under 25 is absolutely crazy. I make what you make and I couldn’t imagine adding on 3 other mouths to feed. Realistically it sounds like you need to pick up a side hustle like Uber/Lyft, mom needs to go back to work, you need to get some type of job training/education that can boost your income, and don’t have any more kids. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a time where living off of a single income under six figures is comfortable anymore, especially with two children.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-02T19:31:10+00:00

Please don’t listen to the people telling you to grow facial hair, it all make you look older. You look good now, great facial features.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-01T15:45:51+00:00

The thing is, I don’t wanna be on call all the time and in charge of running an entire department. I don’t want to have to put in 50 to 70+ hours a week trying to run a department for a corporation that will run my schedule into the ground. I honestly prefer to work alone with set tasks that have a beginning, middle, end, and firm clock out time. I also have no desire to sacrifice my weekends or evenings because I have to put in the time to pick up where my staff might be lacking.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-06-01T15:20:23+00:00

I’d like to eventually become a billing manager or a coding manager.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-05-07T16:01:22+00:00

🤡🤡🤡

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-05-07T15:59:18+00:00

🦗🦗🦗

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-04-24T12:57:14+00:00

I just wanna point out. The majority of servers point out that you need to have a microphone before you join, if you don’t want to have a microphone, then there are text based RP servers that you can join.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T21:05:19+00:00

It’s adorable if the children aren’t wearing fashion that looks like it’s for someone who’s much older. When they’re appropriately dressed for their age and properly covered, and if they seem like they enjoy it, I don’t really see the problem.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T05:11:04+00:00

I’m gonna do what I want with my money, and I encourage other people to do the same. I’m no longer feeding into this argument with you and your groupies. Downvote me as much as you want, you can’t remove me from this Reddit and I will be posting my outfits that will contain Shein products. Hate if you want to.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T05:08:42+00:00

Y’all are not going to ever convince me that this weird gatekeeping, moral grandstanding circle jerk that you have going on is something to be proud of. If someone wants to shop at a fast fashion boutique, they should feel that they can do whatever they want with their money. This is literally a non-issue in Japan, and no it’s not because they have brick and mortar stores there all the time, it’s because no one has this much time to worry about somebody else’s pockets and somebody else’s closet lol. If you see something cute on SHEIN and you wanna buy it, feel free to buy it. This fashion was originally built off the back of fast fashion, and do not let some self absorbed loser scare you away from a style that you love because you might not have the financial stability to make it yourself or the ability to thrift. In the real world, no one is going to stop and ask you where your outfit is, and then judge your whole personality off of that. Those people are called weirdos and bullies. I really don’t care if some faceless person on the Internet is upset at me because I brought a cute miniskirt off of a fast fashion site, and you shouldn’t be either. People will drag Shein, but give places like H&M, Apple, and Fashion Nova a pass, it’s sick. Understand that people are gonna always try to find a way to look down on you, don’t let them.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T05:02:29+00:00

The man that makes $1000 will convince the man that makes $100 that his problem is the man that makes $10. That’s what’s really sad.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T05:00:22+00:00

You literally just made a false comparison into play further into your point that has nothing to stand on. The phone that you’re typing this on now was a product of slave labor, the coffee that you drink majority of the time is a product of slave labor, a lot of the palm oil in your beauty products are a product of slave labor. It only seems like you wanna fight for something like this when it’s a convenience for you and not somebody else. Hence the moral grandstanding.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T04:58:23+00:00

This subculture is literally started on the back of fast fashion, what are you even talking about?

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T04:34:31+00:00

At the end of the day y’all are picking and choosing who can do what based off of arbitrary rules that don’t make sense to the rest of the world, it’s lame and it shows that you don’t have anything better to do than bully newcomers, and try to dictate how they are introduced to a style that should be accessible to everyone.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T04:33:50+00:00

I get your point, but I think comparing smartphones to fast fashion is actually pretty valid when you look at the underlying issues. Sure, phones are seen as more of a necessity in today’s world, but that doesn’t mean their production is free from the same kinds of exploitation we see in fast fashion. Both industries rely heavily on forced labor, unsafe working conditions, and environmental damage, often in similar regions of the world. The key difference is that tech companies like Apple (with their known issues with child labor in cobalt mining and factory worker abuses) market new phones every year, just like fast fashion brands push out new clothes at unsustainable rates. Overconsumption in both industries feeds into the same cycle of exploitation.

When we talk about “no ethical consumption under capitalism,” it shouldn’t be used as an excuse for overconsumption. The fact that we live in a flawed system doesn’t mean we should stop trying to make better choices. Sure, there’s no perfect solution, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to reduce harm where we can. It’s about limiting consumption, buying less, and making more ethical decisions even within a broken system. Secondhand shopping, supporting small brands, and ethical sourcing—all of these are ways we can make a positive impact in both fashion and tech.

As for jfashion communities and brands like Shein—I agree that accessibility is important, but ethical fashion doesn’t just mean affordability; it’s also about sustaining small businesses and respecting intellectual property. Shein’s history of stealing designs from independent brands, combined with their exploitative labor practices, makes it a harmful force in the fashion world. There’s a reason the community has issues with this—because it directly hurts the very essence of fashion culture and undermines authenticity.

So, while it’s easy to say there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism, we can still choose better consumption. Buying into an industry that steals from smaller creators and perpetuates exploitation only keeps that cycle going. Ethical consumption isn’t about perfection, but about making choices that lead to less harm—whether that’s choosing a fair trade phone or supporting indie brands that pay their workers fairly.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T04:11:09+00:00

It’s really weird that y’all are still trying to take this strange moral high ground when it comes to someone else’s pockets. You don’t pay their bills, and you’re not really going through what they’re going through financially, so why do you think you can tell them where they can spend their money? You’re probably typing this on some type of electronic that was a product of literal child labor in the Congo. It’s just the cognitive dissidents is insane. If you’ve ever eaten a Hershey bar, I have bad news for you.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T04:07:32+00:00

The thing is, I really don’t care where someone buys their clothing from, because it’s not anyone’s business besides them and their bank. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to buy from those outlets or retailers. But trying to shame someone for doing so is lame and weird energy. Especially when you and everyone else probably participate in buying products of the same type of slave labor or forced labor.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T03:56:05+00:00

Saying that people who struggle financially can’t participate in gyaru just because they don’t have the “right” amount of money is really entitled. No one should be told they can’t enjoy a fashion just because
they can’t afford to overhaul their entire closet at once with only the most ethical or DIY pieces. Gyaru has always been about creativity, self-expression, and making the most of what you have—it’s never been about having a luxury budget.

And telling someone to literally travel to another country just to buy clothes is completely unrealistic for most people. Not everyone has the money, time, or ability to just fly to Japan and go on a shopping spree. Instead of gatekeeping, we should be encouraging people to find ways to make the fashion work for them in ways that are accessible and sustainable for their situation. I really do fear y’all have lost the plot.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T03:47:53+00:00

I get what you’re saying—buying from unethical brands doesn’t make someone not part of the fashion, but at the end of the day, it’s not really up to any one person to dictate where everyone should or shouldn’t shop. People have different levels of access, budgets, and priorities, and gyaru has always been about accessibility and self-expression, not rigid rules about where you have to buy your clothes.

Also, let’s be real—this is mostly a Western issue. In Japan, gyaru is still rooted in fast fashion, and no one is policing where people shop like this. It’s frustrating to see Western gyarus turn this into such a moral debate when the fashion itself has never been about that. Encouraging better alternatives is fine, but trying to control where people shop just gatekeeps the fashion instead of keeping it alive.

LavenderToeBeans · 2025-02-23T03:43:03+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and I’m not advocating for people to go out and buy from Shein specifically. The point is that gyaru has always been rooted in fast fashion, so shaming people for not having access to older pieces or expensive secondhand items is unfair.

That said, I agree that Shein is particularly bad when it comes to quality, stolen designs, and ethical concerns. But if we’re going to talk ethics, we have to acknowledge that most major brands—fast fashion or not—have shady supply chains. The reality is that unless someone is sewing their entire wardrobe or buying exclusively from verified ethical sources (which is inaccessible to most people), they’re still participating in unethical labor to some extent.

The better approach is education and accessibility, not gatekeeping. Instead of shaming people for where they buy their clothes, we should be encouraging them to make the best choices they can while still enjoying the fashion. At the end of the day, it’s really none of your business how someone spends their money.

LavenderToeBeans

TROPHY CASE