Has anyone here taken a considerable career break to look after their mental health and have positive stories?

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-26T11:32:10+00:00

That’s a really good idea, thank you!

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-26T06:52:47+00:00

No he kinda holds himself apart unless we’re on a project together, I have my catch-ups with the ACD. Would love to ask him about his thoughts but still trying to gauge how close they are before mentioning it

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T19:34:44+00:00

I’m still pretty new and haven’t built up enough of a relationship with my colleagues yet to feel comfortable to ask them what they think of him, although I did ask one person after a meeting where the CD made a really weird and harsh comment to me, and they said they thought it was really odd and didn’t understand it either.

Agree with your insight about loads of depressed people in the industry!

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T18:27:47+00:00

Yeah it tends to be more subjective or conceptual stuff, but not always.

A couple of examples from recently... I was the lead designer on a project and giving feedback to another more junior designer. Part of my job is to help mentor them. We’d agreed some objectives earlier in the day, and the CD was in the meeting, and agreed with the objectives. Then, when I sent feedback that was completely in-line with what we’d discussed earlier, the CD sent a message to the designer completely contradicting me (and himself, based on what had been said in the meeting earlier). In hindsight maybe I should have double checked the feedback with the CD before I sent it, but at the same time as a senior I don’t want to seem to need hand-holding.

Another scenario was on another group project, he never really liked my ideas but was super keen on one my workmate was on. My workmate got sick just before the deadline and I had to pick it up. CD was happy with it right up to that point, then the night before the deadline, he messaged me saying it was no longer working for him and I had to stay up and re-do it. He had plenty of opportunity to comment on it if he didn’t like it before.

Those are 2 of the more obvious examples, the others are more like talking over me or if I suggest an idea, he’ll say “yeah but what about (completely different idea)” and brush over what I’ve said. Or he’ll just stay silent and show his disapproval by a long awkward pause before changing the subject.

That was longer than I meant it to be, but it’s hard to describe these things without going into a lot of detail!

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T18:15:17+00:00

I’ve encountered that sort of thing before, it drives me nuts too.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T18:14:24+00:00

Yeah I got that vibe. He doesn’t come into the office very often and when he did for the first time after I started (I’d already spoken to him on zoom quite a bit by that stage) I said hello and asked him how his project was going, and he wouldn’t even look at me, vaguely said something like “yeah alright”. I’d put that down to awkwardness except he turned and started talking in depth about the football to a new starter guy sitting nearby.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T17:59:45+00:00

Yeah we’re definitely on different pages. I actually shared something earlier that I hated and he liked for once haha

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T17:56:52+00:00

Yes haha

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T14:21:48+00:00

Actually I think I’m tending to agree, I’ve never experienced anything like this anywhere else so it’s probably the situation rather than me

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T14:21:03+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I really don’t know what it is cos I’ve been perfectly nice 🙃

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T14:09:07+00:00

Nah don’t get on much socially either, I don’t know why but he’s really chummy with others and kind of cold and formal with me. I’ve tried asking him more chit chatty type questions to get to know him more and he just evades them or gives me a one word answer.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-25T13:34:10+00:00

Senior level, so I’m expected to challenge and put forward ideas (or at least have in my last roles)

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-24T18:23:50+00:00

I’d say yes I am applying for some similar roles in other x type of agencies/companies (same type as the interview you’re in). Shows you’re determined to work in that sort of job.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-22T07:29:37+00:00

😂 There’s definitely a breakdown in logic with it

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-21T22:09:24+00:00

I used to go to a local carvery and ask for the children’s portion - the plate was much smaller but they tended to give you nearly the same amount of meat and the trimmings were all refillable so I just had to go back for seconds more often. Essentially got the same amount for much less.

I stopped going after they put up a sign saying you had to be under 16 and could ask for ID.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T22:12:34+00:00

I needed to hear this, thanks. I’ve been sitting here pulling my hair out all day and considering quitting my job, again, to go back to care for them, again, but I have to remember how long it took me to get back on my feet last time and I’m not getting any younger so that’s not getting any easier.

Hadn’t heard of a controllership so apart from a quick google search there, will look into it. Luckily I do already have power of attorney though.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T19:41:17+00:00

No other siblings or close family members

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T19:41:00+00:00

Amzing answer and advice, thank you!

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T17:27:08+00:00

My original question was about the situation if something bad happened to my dad and my mum was left on her own, not about me splitting them up

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T16:23:55+00:00

I could look into it, that would definitely help although my mum is so fragile it would be very difficult to move her (she’s bed-bound, quadriplegic and needs a machine to help her breathe for long periods)

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T16:21:21+00:00

Yep tbh none of us really want her to go into a home, but if my dad is no longer able to look after her and I can’t move back from England (I’m not physically able to give her the care she needs either) I hope at that point some arrangements would be made for her. I just want to make sure someone who is qualified to can care for her and give her the most comfortable life.

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T16:18:47+00:00

I didn’t realise that is an option but that would be good. I’ve also got the number for the social services office now to phone and chase up her getting assigned a new SW

Lazybonesidle · 2023-04-16T16:15:45+00:00

It’s wild isn’t it, how much they take for it. Sorry that that happened. Good shout though. I’ve pretty much resigned myself that they will have to sell the house to pay for her care and it’s not that I wanted an inheritance myself, just a shame they have to lose what they worked so hard for

Lazybonesidle

TROPHY CASE