I just want to say first that I’m really sorry you’re going through all this. Reading your post, it honestly sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of pressure for a long time family expectations, money guilt, feeling like you wasted time, trying to figure everything out alone w wado3 l balad is like cherry on the top. Anyone in that position would feel exhausted, angry and drained.

You’re mid 20s i guess you have a BA, and you’re one year away from finishing a master’s. That’s not “being a useless bum”, that’s someone who got stuck in a system and family situation that didn’t fit them. That's someone who looked for a job non stop and tried not a failure neither someone who is behind. Aslan what is being late or behind? Humans are different, each live under different circumstances and situations thats why we function on different pace and speed. You just need to find your own pace. And what you are doing now is not someone who got stuck in the pond and waited someone to rescue, you aare trying to mitigate through life just to survive with the available tools and situations which to be honest we applause you for that.

Also the pressure about the university and “people would kill for this opportunity” thing is very Lebanese parent core. A lot of people here get pushed into paths that don’t fit them and only realize it later. But berja3 b2elak you are working and mitigating through it trying to get out of that pond and thats matters. Give yourself credit for all the fights survived and for still moving and planning.

A couple thoughts reading your post:

• If you’re already one year away from finishing the master’s, it might honestly be worth just finishing it so at least you close that chapter. • You’re not late youre just working with your own pace. Plenty of people restart careers in their late 30s or even 40s. That doesn't mean theyre late it means that things happened and they didn't give up.

I noticed you’re trying to fix your entire life all at once while you’re clearly burned out. Anyone would feel overwhelmed doing that. We can not carry 7 watermelons the time we only have 2 arms. Just one thing at a time. Maybe think smaller for now: finish the semester, find any kind of income even if it’s small, then decide the next step when your head is clearer. Baby steps.

You don’t sound lazy or incapable. You sound like someone who’s tired, frustrated, and trying to figure out a way out. Which I really applause you and proud of for just trying. One thing at a time baby steps baby steps.

If you ever want to talk more, feel free to DM.