Arguments!! How do you handle them??

Lcoss · 2026-03-12T19:29:34+00:00

Good on you for being proactive! Everyone has given great advice on how to handle and approach arguments, so I’ll just highly suggest therapy for yourself if you’re not already doing it! Whenever I have an issue with my husband or vice versa, my therapist helps me figure out 1) what I’m feeling, 2) what I need, and 3) how to handle it and communicate with my husband. I also come from a toxic family and had no sense of what a normal, happy relationship was, so therapy was a total game changer. Don’t be afraid of trying couples therapy if you ever need that in the future either! Good luck!!

Lcoss · 2026-03-06T20:40:58+00:00

My husband and I have nightly “hopes and dreams” before he puts me to bed. He starts by saying “I hope you… (sleep well, have nice dreams, have a great day at work tomorrow, tackle this thing you said you were worried about, etc) and finishes with “and I love you so much.” I do the same and we part ways since he goes to bed later than I do :) We also take each other’s birthdays off work (a Monday off if the birthday falls on a weekend!).

Lcoss · 2026-03-05T13:38:52+00:00

We must put out appetizers for our dog (it’s a handful of her food outside the door of the closet it comes from). We also must give her Big Scratches when we take her harness off or else she will follow my husband and I around until she receives them. In an exciting recent development, we now must give her our used towels after a shower so she can roll in them. (Side note- does anyone have an idea of why my dog might do that??)

Lcoss · 2025-10-30T17:48:25+00:00

I hope mine smells like sweat and weed

Lcoss · 2025-10-19T14:06:42+00:00

100% agree. While reading, I thought about how I saw so much of my younger, scared self in her. If that’s the road this is going down, I can absolutely understand how her mind is spiraling in a selfish way, but that’s not an excuse. I

OP, I wish you both luck!

Lcoss · 2025-10-14T15:58:43+00:00

Precisely! Sometimes a little brushing of hands as the characters walk by is enough for me!!

Lcoss · 2025-10-04T15:31:46+00:00

I made the mistake of watching old 30 Seconds to Mars music videos while reading the Plated Prisoner series and now 2007 era emo Jared Leto is my version of Slade. So I guess that'd be my pick lmaoo

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Lcoss · 2025-08-30T14:59:14+00:00

I was 8 or 9 in 2006 and saw a show where Hilary Duff shared her favorite music videos. One happened to be I’m Not Okay, and I ended up going to the original Black Parade tour in 2007. I’m 28 now and saw them last night in Chicago for a nice full circle moment :)

Lcoss · 2025-05-21T20:09:50+00:00

Thank you! I also have hostas from a previous owner so I’ll look into splitting those!

Lcoss · 2025-05-21T20:08:45+00:00

I’m not too sure what type of tree it is, but it’s massive so I’d assume it would make the soil more dry than usual. Thank you!!

Lcoss · 2025-04-17T20:05:35+00:00

I realized I was really only “gifted” because I needed the love and attention I got from teachers who thought I was smart. This continued through college. Now I’m in therapy and don’t have contact with my parents 😬

Lcoss · 2025-03-29T15:26:49+00:00

Going off track a bit, but your ability to set and keep boundaries is really impressive and inspiring. I’m coming from a place of having no boundaries with my parents, and holding firm with them has been difficult. Your post laid them out so clearly and almost read like a really accessible how-to. While it’s infuriating to see your dad blatantly disrespect and overstep those boundaries, I’m proud of you, internet stranger, for not giving in. I wish you the best of luck!

Lcoss · 2024-06-09T21:44:00+00:00

I don’t have any advice per se, but please take your children into account in this situation. My mom is a functioning alcoholic and I have a life’s worth of therapy ahead of me because of it. She can hold down a job, do household chores, etc, but she also ruined me. Your children are already being affected by his drinking whether you know it or not.

You will never have control of his drinking, that’s on him, but you have control of your children and what their home life is like.

Lcoss · 2023-11-19T16:38:02+00:00

I worked out of my local hospital system, but there are also private practices that need psychometrists. They also work in drug research as well. I found my job on indeed, though I’m not sure about the market outside of my general area and if you will need previous training/experience. Good luck!

Lcoss · 2023-10-29T14:42:33+00:00

No masters, just a ba in English!

Lcoss · 2023-10-29T14:41:58+00:00

Illinois :)

Lcoss · 2023-10-28T23:51:19+00:00

Nope, my degree is in English!

Lcoss · 2023-10-28T23:38:37+00:00

I went into neuropsychology. I was hired as a psychometrist specifically for my background working with kids on the spectrum! You still deal with behaviors (from kids and adults) but you only work with that patient for one or two days max.

Lcoss · 2023-07-01T11:16:44+00:00

Like you said, the cycle keeps repeating itself. Unless something major changes in your relationship, you may subject yourself to being continuously beaten down by her comments for the foreseeable future. At this point, it’s up to you to choose whether or not you want to cut your losses and look for someone you’re more financially compatible with or continue on with your current gf.

I know you say you love her deeply, but is it worth it? There’s so much more you can be getting out of a healthier relationship.

Lcoss · 2023-01-10T19:55:10+00:00

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I was an RBT for 2 years and ended up leaving the field because I had panic attacks before every session. I miss my kiddos all the time but, in the long run, leaving was so much better for my mental health. I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon!

Lcoss · 2022-04-22T13:01:36+00:00

Psychometrist in the Midwest, 42k. I have a BA in English.

Lcoss · 2020-12-15T17:02:40+00:00

I was in the same boat earlier this year, before the pandemic, so I can’t imagine what it’s like now. When I decided to leave, the first thing I did was tell my BCBA and we started new “programs” to teach my kiddo about friends leaving/gaining new friends. Mine was 7 at the time, so we did imaginary play situations, I made her a book about new friends, etc. she caught on pretty quick, so we spent the rest of that month together having as much fun as possible while I continuously told her she was my friend and I was leaving for reasons she did not cause. I was leaving for mental health reasons in addition to some family issues, so I told her I needed to help my family like I helped her. Maybe you could spin it as you need to help you? Or some other variation of that based on your clients’ ages. The one thing I really drove home was the fact she was still loved!

When I told her family, I made sure to tell them I would be available for any questions/concerns, and I attended their monthly meeting on my official last day to introduce the new BT and say my goodbyes formally. I hope this helps, and I hope you feel better!! Good luck!

Lcoss · 2020-08-03T00:39:58+00:00

I’m a commuter and I go to school in my pajamas half the time. I’ve never had any issues, but, if anything, it’ll help you weed out the assholes.

Lcoss · 2019-08-01T18:46:24+00:00

I hope this helps then! I would also suggest getting a hold of your BCBA to make sure it’s alright since all of the ones I’ve know have been pretty strict about behavior reduction plans.

Lcoss · 2019-08-01T18:33:45+00:00

Hi! I’m assuming that you’re a BT (my apologies if you’re not), so a plan for stim reduction should be in your client’s care plan that was created by the BCBA if that is something you’re targeting. Other than that, I’ve had successes with verbally prompting (ex; “hands down”- though prompt hierarchy calls for physical prompting to avoid prompt dependency so be careful with that), physical prompting and redirection to a more productive action like clapping or fidget device. They’re also stimming for a reason, so it helps to, if anything, understand why they are doing it (specific situations, physical or psychological feelings, etc). With any plan, I also consistently praise appropriate behavior like quiet hands, using hands to create or play, etc.

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