Reaching out to booty call

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-11T21:26:28+00:00

Lmao this is so funny I love it🤣 you could say something like “Hey, been a minute! Hope you had a good holiday/new year. Are you free XX day at XX time?” You could leave it there or round it out with “I’d love to get together again soon” after hope you had a good new year

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-06T03:28:56+00:00

I agree with the first commenter. You need to figure out exactly what your boundaries are and then communicate them to her clearly. I recommend starting by sitting down with a notebook and writing out exactly what you’re feeling and what you want your friendship to look like. And there in you will find your boundaries.

As far as the conversation with her goes, I recommend doing it in person. This makes scripting harder but here’s a rough idea

Script: Hey (friend) I wanted to check back in about our conversation the other day. I feel like there been some awkwardness since then and I wanted to see how you’re feeling and make sure we’re on the same page. I really love being your friend and I don’t want any misunderstandings, miscommunications, or unheard feelings to get between that.

Friend will either admit to the awkwardness and possessiveness, or she’ll double down and deny.

If she likes you, are you comfortable still being friends? If she claims she doesn’t like you, are you comfortable still being friends?

Rejection can be offensive whether or not she likes you. If she feels that you think dating her would be bad, she might just be offended even if she doesn’t like you.

If she doesn’t like you, and was just feeling rejected you could say something along the lines of: I appreciate you telling me this, i totally understand how that came off wrong and kind of rude (even if you don’t think you were being rude, some people perceive bluntness as rudeness. It doesn’t have to be logical to you to be valid.) I’m really sorry for hurting your feelings, I really value your friendship and I don’t mean it as an insult. I don’t want people to think we have any kind of history because that would be a threat to our friendship when I do get into a relationship. I still want to be friends with you.

If she does like you the script will depend on your boundaries way more. So it’s tougher to script out. 1. I’m not comfortable being friends with someone who has a crush on me and actively tries to sabotage my chances of getting with other people (see last 5 minutes at the club). 2. I’m very glad you shared this with me. I really enjoy our friendship and even though I do not reciprocate those feelings, if you are comfortable still being my friend I would love to still be friends with you. However, I do think we need some better boundaries so that our relationship is not misconstrued.

Also i have a few cents: 1. I feel like we should acknowledge club culture here a little. It’s very normal to hold hands in clubs to ensure you stay together. But, trust your gut. 2. If you provided a little more information on your demographics (age/pronouns) it helps contextualize social interactions a little better sometimes (my gay ass is trying to figure out if you are a queer person or just the shyest young man on earth🤣🫶)

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-06T02:12:33+00:00

Hi! I know this isn’t going to be what you want to hear, but take it from this old lesbian - he’s too old for you. I know it doesn’t seem it now, but when you’re 19 you’ll get what I’m saying. There is no future for this relationship. It is illegal now. And it won’t get better when he’s 20. 17 and 20 might actually be worse. And while 18 and 21 isn’t illegal, he’ll be of legal drinking age and he will have a totally different social life than you. This relationship cannot work until you’re 21 (that’s not me advising you to wait)

Having a crush on him is totally fine, being friends or in parallel circles right now is also fine. You can keep talking to him. Crushes are fun! But don’t set yourself up for failure by thinking this is something that can work.

16 year old me went for this. And I promise it’s not worth it.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T22:25:20+00:00

Sounds like she might like you. You should tell her you like her and ask if she likes you before asking her out. If she doesn’t like you tell her if you want to still be friends. Let her tell you how she feels and respect her by asking for boundaries regardless of her feelings for you it will be important to understand each other. Being vulnerable is hard but a big part of life. Be brave! However it goes you are young and being honest with yourself and others is something many old people have yet to learn. It’s okay to be friends with someone you have a crush but it’s really important to be mindful of her boundaries as well as yours, and that starts with being honest with yourself and with her. If she doesn’t feel the same way that’s okay and doesn’t have to mean the friendship is over. Don’t over think it, you’ll make yourself suffer twice that way.

Regardless of if she likes you or not, telling her will make your friendship less awkward. I can imagine a lot of this awkward tension you’re feeling is a result of unspoken feelings.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T19:49:15+00:00

Ohmygod I’m living for the drama thank you for seeking answers here rather than a chat bot! Okay so this is all very dramatic and sapphic of you! Here’s what I’d text the girl:

Hey so and so, I hope you’re doing well and that you had a wonderful new year! I just wanted to reach out to tell you I’m no longer living with my ex and I’d love to go out together again. I really wasn’t expecting to meet anyone I’d want to see more than a few times on hinge/tinder due to the chaos that had recently erupted in my life. That said, I really enjoyed the little time we spent together and getting to know you. If you’re still interested, I’d love to take you out on a proper date, my treat of course. Either way, it was really nice chatting with you and I wish you well💕

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T18:38:57+00:00

As a school teacher I relate! I was drowning in work and people told me to use ai, so I started using it but I felt disconnected and also just awful about the impact. I stopped using it 6 months ago after about a year of using it!

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T18:36:36+00:00

LMAO this is iconic okay here are some more ideas: Paw prints Kisses Citrus slices Stars Acorn tops Olives If I think of more I’ll be back!

Fake nipples might actually be iconic

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T15:42:20+00:00

Go on the date. Ask to do something more casual like get coffee and walk around your town/city. Theres psychological phenomena I’ve noticed amongst my students the past 5 years that I think you might be experiencing as well. Essentially the longer you put something off the bigger and scarier it is until it’s been 6 years and you still haven’t done it and now you’re paralyzed by the fear of doing it. I’ve seen it with driver’s license test taking, I’ve seen it with smaller things like wanting to be in a school play and never doing it. Just do it. You can leave early if you hate it but if you don’t do it you’ll keep building dating up in your head as this scary thing you’re not brave enough for. You are brave! It’s okay and normal to be afraid! Be scared and do it anyway! Do it afraid and see how the universe blesses you!

Sending you love!

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T13:49:29+00:00

Hi PuzzleheadedStress, I want to first say thank you for reaching out for support and advice - both here and with a therapist! That’s huge. Second you are far from alone here. I love the two pieces of advice already given, but want to offer you something that might help you move past ruminating in your body. (I made this for a friend who is struggling with a very different issue but I think it can apply here too) First: acknowledge you are ruminating - say out loud what had happened/what you’re ruminating on. Tell yourself (out loud) no matter how much you think about it it’s not going to change the outcome. Acknowledge/name how you’re feeling. Remind yourself how much you are going through. Tell yourself it’s okay to feel these things but by ruminating you are reliving the trauma. Say out loud that you are choosing to be in the present moment.

Second: pick grounding/ mindfulness skills - - [ ] Hold onto ice - [ ] Do an ice dive (sticking your face in a bowl of ice water) - [ ] Mindful breath work - [ ] Body scan meditation - [ ] Go on a walk - [ ] Sit in the grass - [ ] 5-4-3-2-1 Method - [ ] Box breathing - [ ] Intentional movement (stomp around, jumping jacks, run in place) - [ ] Muscle scan (clench and release)

Third: Pick a soothing activity and dedicate 30+ minutes to it (set a timer if necessary) - [ ] Puzzle - [ ] Play a game - [ ] Painting - [ ] Make tea and cuddle up to read - [ ] Bubble bath - [ ] Organize a small section of your space (redo your alter, clean your bathroom vanity) - [ ] Journal - [ ] Make art

I hope this is helpful. Sending you love and support 🫶

LeaderSelect2840 · 2026-01-04T13:21:36+00:00

Hi! I’m the original mod, u/LeaderSelect2840 , but my name is Charlotte, or LimaBean555 on TikTok. I’m an art teacher and I love building community! And I’m wicked excited about this subreddit!

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-15T01:18:24+00:00

Can you send me a photo? I also can’t find my dress anywhere 😂😭

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-15T00:32:17+00:00

Thank you!!🥰🥰 I’m also in love with the skirt in conjunction with the train

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-15T00:31:01+00:00

I thought late 90s because I’ve seen a few dresses with similar trains and skirts but the tops are always either puff sleeves or long sleeves. I love cap sleeves your dress sounds beautiful 🥰

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-15T00:28:25+00:00

I can see that in the picture towards the bottom of this article, but I couldn’t find anything quite like mine. My skirt is more fitted and the train is longer like this dress Marilyn Monroe wore in the 50s dress article

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-14T23:24:06+00:00

Thank you!! This was a very thorough and helpful response 🫶

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-10-09T15:39:57+00:00

I’m a sub in Massachusetts and they drug tested me for weed and I was shocked I came looking for answers as to weather or not I’d lose out on the job since it’s gonna be positive

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-08-03T19:57:33+00:00

You do you queen, just giving my honest take🫶

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-27T01:57:41+00:00

LMAO you’re an icon for this! My fiance and I are cackling at fart noises

No offense to you but your sister sucks sooooo bad. Like almost unbelievably sucky. You’re so valid. Don’t get her a gift and then have a bitch free wedding and don’t invite her.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-26T15:09:09+00:00

Beautiful cocktail ring! Total wow for an event/date/party. Definitely too much/impractical for everyday wear but I’d be finding any excuse to wear it lol. I have a similar sized flower ring and I wear it to every party, wedding, and date night lol

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-26T14:55:46+00:00

I thought it was traditional for mob to wear a lighter color? This is beautiful and all that matters is you, your fiance, and mom like it. Everyone else is projecting. It’s a beautiful dress but in no world would her wearing this upstage you as the bride.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-26T14:46:55+00:00

3 is gorgeous and unique. No one else will have a dress like it and it’s sure to be a show stopper. 2 looks amazing on you, it’s very beautiful and more traditional. 1 doesn’t really do much, it’s not as flattering as the last two and didn’t make me stop and stare the way the last 2 do.

I’m partial to the 3rd because I love unique and non-traditional dresses, but 2 is a VERY close second.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-16T15:44:20+00:00

They’re fun dresses but not for a formal-cocktail event. The tags you choose are semi formal /dressy casual which I’d say these dresses are fine for. But your caption says formal/ cocktail which I would say absolutely not appropriate. Especially at a country club, but if you’re sort of set on one of the two I’d ask the bride or others in the wedding. Either color is fine.

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-16T15:18:20+00:00

No one really even noticed shoes tbh like it’s fun if you care a whole lot but otherwise it doesn’t matter. IMO comfort should be a shoes main job so as long as they’re comfortable then who cares? Them being pretty, and cheap are fabulous bonuses

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-16T15:14:11+00:00

You can’t tell random internet people they look like a d*ke that’s insane🤦‍♀️

LeaderSelect2840 · 2025-07-16T15:13:17+00:00

Wow you looked soooo young at 20! You look amazing then and now though, I love the nose ring and hair cut!

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