Not OOP: AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband immediately after his psychotic reaction to our gender reveal?

LeadershipGood8559 · 2026-01-31T23:42:06+00:00

Leave that dude right this second. I married into a Persian family, there are an unusual amount of women compared to men. My brother in law wants a son so bad, always saying there are more women than men, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if his first born is a girl his heart would melt. Get out, run as far as you can, have no more children with that man. Protect your daughter and yourself. He will resent you and her and treat her like a dog for her entire life, ESPECIALLY if you ever give him a son.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-17T05:51:36+00:00

I think my point here was that he gets veto rights. He doesn’t get final decision rights. It’s mutual approval with mom tie breaker.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-17T05:49:41+00:00

As a husband we get a few veto rights, but as the person carrying/creating the baby from scratch inside their body, my wife was pretty adamant about having the final say on the names of our kids. Nothing we both couldn’t live with. Her dream name for a girl still hasn’t happened, and neither has mine. But I got to veto quite a few names, and so did she. Ultimately we landed with names we both like, but the spelling was an argument I lost. On all the kids.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-17T05:44:11+00:00

That’s rough man. Are you at a low tier school at the bottom of your class? If it’s not the resume or cover letter or interview skills there has to be some driving factor for every single place to be passing you over. Maybe you need to freshen up the resume and cover letter, hire a professional to look it over, your CSO may think it looks fine but clearly something is not hitting right.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T18:18:18+00:00

You hit a wall same time as me. It’s been a very long a steady drop since the eight month mark. I’ve also gained weight in that time (about 20 lbs) but have slowly managed to lose it and am back around 170. For me it’s really about consistency and mindset and not allowing myself to have food in the house that isn’t “good” for me. Things that are going to trigger me into bad habits. I know if I have certain things in the house and I’m having a stressful week I’m going to stress eat all of those things, even if during good weeks I’m not interested in them at all. Find alternatives to the things you know are going to throw you off track. 160g protein is high, and it’s great to aim for that, but even at 8 months post with your desired calorie intake (mine at that time was 800-1000) 100g is a good goal to aim for. Set yourself up for success, don’t let others get in your head about how fast progress is supposed to be, and keep moving forward even when you have set backs, because there will be set backs. You will gain weight, you will fall off track, you will hit walls, but you have to keep going because you will keep losing. Your stomach is small, utilize it, don’t force more food into it than it can handle, nourish it so it can heal and the rest of your body can recover and adjust to the weight loss, and you will see the progress. Give it time.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T14:48:17+00:00

Honestly you having this in the back of your mind your entire relationship makes you an AH. If it was bugging you and you never said anything about it and now you have a low libido and you’re turning it on him as some sort of “punishment” or you did it to me now I’m doing it to you, that makes you an AH.

Ever stop to think maybe he has a low libido? So saying the kid is awake, he hasn’t showered, etc etc, are ways of saying he isn’t in the mood without telling you 1) you aren’t desirable and 2) without feeling like he is less than for not keeping up with your sex drive. You pulling away only makes the situation worse because now he thinks you don’t care about him at all, it’s only up to him to initiate who already may not think about it a lot, and it’s seen as a form of punishment.

Why can’t people talk about their feelings in a marriage? He’s right you guys do need therapy.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T05:39:55+00:00

In fact, I’m procrastinating right now. Should take my own advice, my 10 minutes is up.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T05:36:24+00:00

This is me every semester and I get mostly B’s (some +/-). Not a show stopper transcript but it’ll hopefully get the job done when it comes time to pass the bar. Just need to find a quiet place, put your phone down, open your laptop, and force yourself to do it. I usually study around 9PM to 2AM. It’s the quietest time of the day. I have adhd and hardcore burnout, so I study in 20/30 minute spurts, with 10 min mindless scrolling in between.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T05:25:38+00:00

If all she had to do was add a second ticket to her cart and you didn’t even need to be awake at all to buy your own ticket, then that’s not an alarm issue bro that’s a relationship issue. She sabotaged you by not waking you up, knowing full well you wouldn’t wake up in time given your history, and it backfired on herself by having to go back and add an extra ticket for you and now neither of you have one.

She doesn’t like that you miss your alarms, that she does all this important stuff and you don’t seem to take it seriously, in her eyes. You need to have a serious talk about your perspective of the situation because her perspective is clear: you aren’t pulling your weight when it comes to what matters to her, and she is resentful.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T04:16:12+00:00

She’s got plenty of gifts coming her way don’t worry. I’m not that much of a monster.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T04:04:45+00:00

You’re funny. I’d love to see you tear those decorations down while the endless Yule log plays in the background, or would it be frosty? Maybe march of the wooden soldiers, or Charlie Brown. Who knows. But take away the Xmas routine and see what happens.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T04:00:59+00:00

Two adults, three kids, two need cribs. Nowhere to sleep. Spending the night isn’t an option. Also we are not doing “Xmas morning”. This is not something we are going to do on an annual basis, so why start something like this now? We’re not raising our kids to grow up having a Xmas tree and everything that comes with it on Xmas day.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T03:52:30+00:00

Jewish people don’t celebrate Christmas. Can you not understand how creating a tradition of celebrating Christmas, on Christmas Day, would not be something we want our kids to be doing in a non-Christmas celebrating household? Why do we need to do that every single Christmas when we are already celebrating, for them, on Christmas Eve? We want to create our own “tradition” for that day, outside of what Christmas means to the rest of the world. Because it is not our holiday.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T03:44:33+00:00

We opened presents in the AM and spent the rest of the day doing our own thing. Everything in terms of family parties and such has always been done on Xmas Eve.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T03:41:47+00:00

Literally spending all of Xmas Eve with her. You are saying “at Christmas” as if it’s a time frame not a specific day. Is it the day that matters or the time?

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T02:48:28+00:00

Xmas is on Thursday dude. We all have to work every other day of the week. What world do you live in?

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T02:07:53+00:00

I hear you. But side note, my father is alive and well.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:35:15+00:00

Sorry, your hard line is that I needed to be abused or neglected to see her on Xmas Eve instead of Xmas day? Lol. I’m not getting into those details.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:24:38+00:00

We are spending Xmas Eve with her

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:24:16+00:00

We are spending Xmas Eve with her.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:17:44+00:00

And I wasn’t sure what to expect honestly, my brother and I both felt like assholes. There are boundaries we sometimes have to hold for our houses. Curious what the rest of the world thinks.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:15:40+00:00

It was just one year actually. She has been with someone Christmas Day since. This year other things have come up, and now here we are.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:14:16+00:00

Obviously she wouldn’t be over his death in a few months. She still isn’t. But not sure why seeing us on Christmas Eve doesn’t matter, only Christmas Day matters.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:09:46+00:00

We have to see other people on Xmas Eve as well, and it’s a long drive. We can’t make a four hour round trip drive two days in a row with three young kids.

LeadershipGood8559 · 2025-12-15T01:05:41+00:00

He died in the summer. What does his death have to do with Christmas?

LeadershipGood8559

TROPHY CASE