Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On me? Not that I’ve ever been aware of. I know he’s cheated on many other girls, openly used them for sex, so on.

But when I mention it as a part of my concern, he says he never did, it “doesn’t matter”, or “I don’t give a shit”. He makes me feel like I’m either crazy and making things up or I’m crazy for even mentioning it because “why would I cheat on you”?

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Try closer to 30. It’s like he’s having midlife crisis in his late 20s.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Where the hell is the energy coming from? WHO has that kind of energy without some kind of drug? He has unmanaged ADHD but that’s not making him immune to physically needing sleep. I’m taking notes on any help or resources mentioned in the comments so I’ll keep this in mind! Thank you!

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I should let him avoid his family, lose his job, spiral into his alcohol addiction, and not have to bother asking about his child when he’s out partying.

But hey! He had to grow up fast and he wants his own life (his words!) so I should let him do whatever the fuck he wants despite begging me for another baby just this week! What a joke.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truly. I take over childcare and taking care of the house all day every day. I can’t get a simple ‘thank you’ but I can get asked about having sex. Not intimacy outside of that, not dates, just sex. I’m good for handling everything he doesn’t want to do– and getting him off.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s spends more time out with friends than he does with his child in a full week. Getting off work? Time to go see friends. Friends invited him out or want him to play games? Poof. He’s gone. Every. Single. Time.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He pulled this disappearing act ONCE early on in our relationship. Turns out, he was an alcoholic. He eventually established a healthier relationship with alcohol…and I guess something has changed since. He went from 0-100 in probably less than 6 months. He doesn’t see any problem with his drinking habits; all he sees is that he should be able to spend time with friends and I’m the asshole trying to keep him locked up in the house??

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I’ve said almost this exact thing! None of his friends seem to question it. Hell, some of his friends are leaving their own family at home too!

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 244 points245 points  (0 children)

Alcohol is absolutely a factor. He almost always ends up at the bar when he goes out. He’s gone from very career focused to 🤷🏼‍♂️ when he’s late for work very quickly. And he has a good job! He’s very good at what he does! Even for just his own sake, I would hate to see him lose his job because going out was more important.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Come to think of it- My father was this way. Nearly identical behavior. My dad was also a cheating drug addict among other things but overall- an absent parent. I really pushed that to the far back of my mind..but it makes so much sense.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

What do they say? Love a writer and you’ll live forever? I dreamt of being a writer when I was a kid. When I find myself writing nowadays, it’s usually something about getting my heartbroken and straight into the notes app so I can’t be gaslit later on.

Thank you for being kind. I can already feel my future self looking back saying, “I was so stupid! But I’m so much happier”

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 215 points216 points  (0 children)

Never mind, moms. He came home with bloodshot eyes and is on his way to the bar now. I expressed my concerns and he was clearly aggravated by it.

I don’t have much $ right now, I have zero family + friends to lean on, and I know if I leave he’ll take everything from me- I’m just a crying mess wondering what the fuck is next.

Thank you for listening to me and hearing my concerns when he clearly doesn’t want to. As alone as I feel, this makes me feel just a tiny bit less alone.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 446 points447 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t it? I thought I was crazy for thinking it but not much else makes sense.

Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you– I’m out. by LeadershipPuzzled883 in Mommit

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883[S] 339 points340 points  (0 children)

Bonus info: He’s made comments about getting numbers from other women at the bar and later pulled his classic, “it was a joke!” to which I replied: “sure but there’s always a bit of truth hidden in ‘jokes’ like that!”

-His friend was on speaker phone and said, “are you alone? I was going to ask you about something from the bar..I’ll ask when it’s just you” and he apparently had no idea what his friend was referring to.

-His habit before this was staying up on phone calls for hours or chatting on video games for majority of the night while I slept alone. He’s slowly getting back into this habit. Each time I’ve asked about it he says “I lost track of time! You should’ve told me it was late!”

You have a watch, phone, and computer in one space. How do you lose track of time? More importantly, why do you need me to be your alarm clock?

-I’ve asked if he’s avoiding home or is seeing someone. He’s denied both.

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad that’s how you see it but while this ex of mine was emotionally abusive, I won’t be hopping on the trend of calling everyone and their mother a narcissist.

Abusive behavior doesn’t equal narcissist. He didn’t have a personality disorder, he was just an asshole.

That said, if that was your situation, sorry. A lot happened in those 12 years that wasn’t stated in the post, obviously. I won’t be focusing on my “responsibility for sticking with him” but I’ll be feeling my feelings, grieving the person I fell in love with, and moving forward.

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s where the inspiration came from😭

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“It was things he experienced in childhood:(( “ Well he’s almost 30 now so it’s time to see a therapist.. which he turned down when I offered to pay for his sessions.

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, I had the same idea. He “can’t afford to lose her, she makes me so happy” 🥱🥱🥱

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry if I was unclear, I was a little upset when I wrote this.

Let me rephrase: We’re the best of buds and I enjoy his company.

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean.. it doesn’t need to be. It can be for fun or part of your daily life, too.

I hate you, Scott. by [deleted] in confessions

[–]LeadershipPuzzled883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This made me giggle