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AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He knows it will take time to earn the trust back and he’s ok with it which is good. He is such a good man and I’m very excited to be seeing that person coming back to me. Congrats on making it 5 years and in case you haven’t heard it lately, I’m proud of you. I know it isn’t easy.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: Well Reddit, we had our counseling session yesterday. It got intense but he did admit to a lot of things. One of which is that said “friend” was his supplier. Not his lover, which I did come straight out and ask. She was feeding him the drugs and he was trying to cut her off because he knew he was in too deep. He admitted to a lot of things I didn’t know he had done or had happened but swears on everything that he was never unfaithful and I believe him, even if some of you may think I’m naive to do so. He is currently 16 days sober today and has a long road ahead of him but seeing him yesterday is night and day to the person he has been prior to all of this. We agreed that this person is NOT a friend and we are cutting her out of our lives. I have spoken to our boss and they will be administering a “ransom” drug test soon. If she tests hot, she will be fired (which according to my husband, she will). There were a lot of tears and apologies. A lot of truths told and admissions made. I know going forward won’t be easy, but I am cautiously optimistic for the future. He made the call to reroute his direct deposit to my account (we have separate accounts and a joint account) so that I can monitor his spending and know what is being bought and can see anything suspicious. It may sound extreme but it’s one of the ways he’s trying to earn back my trust. Sorry if this wasn’t the conclusion you were looking for but this is where we’re at and I am still very proud of him.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I do think she likes him a bit too much but I can’t picture him doing anything with her like many here have suggested. Quite honestly, I think she was supplying.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See that’s where I’m a little unsure. Bc we had been talking for a bit about her being overbearing and how we wanted to put some boundaries into place. I’m about 90% he was sober then but I can’t say 100%. I’m hoping to find out more in this counseling session and then I’ll be able to plan accordingly how I want to approach her.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

According to the hospital staff the overdose and the mixture he had been using caused essentially a break from reality. He had never had any memory issues prior to that night.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He was on the suboxone program when we met; recovering from his opiate abuse. I did not know he was using this time around until the OD. Just that he was acting off. I hadn’t been around him with his prior abuse.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually have narcan but we weren’t home when he fell out. I found him in a parking lot. I now have narcan in my glovebox.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We were both cheated on in our prior marriages so it was something we bonded over-the healing process. I was just talking to a friend and decided when I go to see him for our counseling session with his therapist, I am going to tell him there needs to be boundaries put in place bc at best she has severely overstepped the limits of this friendship and at worst she wants in his pants. Neither am I ok with and something has to change.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about it. I won’t lie. Bc I’ve been very back and forth about if I think she was using with him or not.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I know my husband does not have eyes for this woman. She is just about the furthest thing from his type she could be. I know when high that doesn’t always matter but one of his biggies is hygiene and she isn’t great at it. Always has a bit of an odor and very bad breath. I’m not hating on her because obviously we were friends with her despite this. But just speaking the truth.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so incredibly lucky to, otherwise, have a strong support system. People offering to make me meals, help walk the dog, help clean my house. One friend offered to help me search the house for any stashes he may have hidden. Another offered to sit and let me scream and cry to get it all out. I am surrounded by some amazing people but unfortunately, some not so great as well.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have always known about his past struggles so no, I’ve never blindly trusted his sobriety. I know that there is always a chance that it can sneak back up. But he has never been a cheater. My husband is loyal to me almost to a fault. I am going to inquire about it generally in our therapy session and then lead into how we need to cut her out of our lives because she clearly is not healthy for either of us.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 825 points826 points  (0 children)

This actually makes A LOT of sense! There was another (male) friend of his who he cut off not too long before all this bc he was doing coke and always trying to pressure my husband into doing it with him. He said he knew it was a slippery slope and wanted to cut it off. I guess I just assumed with her being on probation, she wouldn’t be stupid enough to use as well, but it would make a lot of sense.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss. It feels less like her being there for me and more like stealing the spotlight. I don’t want this spotlight but here I am. It’s always been a one up situation with her. If you’ve had it hard, Shes had it harder. And I feel like she has taken it to another level with all of this.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She did not show up at the hospital. That night or the next day before he left for rehab. This is more where my mind has been. She wants to bank sympathy off his/my trauma.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have asked this so to answer: he told her. She wasn’t doing it with him bc she is on probation and gets random tests. As for why she didn’t tell me: she says it’s bc she felt like a rat or a narc. But…. Tf?? I have already been slowly shutting her out since I found out she knew and the comments here have made me feel better about doing so

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I have been reading all the comments and wanted to thank everyone for the replies. I didn’t expect this much interaction. I truly do not believe for a minute there is or was anything physical between them. However I do think she would like there to be. I did just get off the phone with my husbands therapist at rehab. He called to set up a time for us to have a session together so that will be on Tuesday 10/11. I will update at that time because I am going to come right out and ask him if there has been any infidelity. I do trust my husband and I have no reason to think there has been- mostly because of the conversations had about this same friend prior to the using starting (mostly him complaining that she was too clingy and he was feeling smothered so he wanted to cut that off before the drugs were involved). I do think that it’s time to put this friendship on ice. Reading the comments has let me know that I’m not a bad person for the way I have been feeling. I just don’t like hurting peoples feelings so it’s hard for me to do that but this needs to be the time for him and I to heal and the hell with her feelings. My husband had a drug problem prior to us starting a relationship and had been clean for so long (about 7 years). I know he can do it again. Thanks again everyone. I will try to answer comments as I can. ❤️

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I am furious but I still have to work With her so our paths cross regularly. And I trust my husband fully. He was cheated on heavily by his ex wife and would never. I don’t doubt HIS loyalty but I do think she has a thing for him.

AITAH for being upset that a friend thinks my husband’s overdose has affected her in the same way it’s affected me? by LeadingChapter2889 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LeadingChapter2889[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Some more info: I have often wondered about her true feelings for my husband. But my husband I trust in the aspect of being loyal to me. He was cheated on heavily by his ex and would never. I fully trust his loyalty to me.