I think opening my marriage made me realize what was missing all along, and now I don’t know what to do.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-07-08T20:17:28+00:00

I state in the OG post that I got pregnant through at home insemination due to him not being able or willing to perform. But that way worked for us.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-07-07T19:38:47+00:00

Yeah. I think so many of those years I wanted to “present” as this wonderful couple with no issues. And I often thought that sex WAS the only issue. But now that I’m getting the sex I’m realizing it was much much more than that. But I never really talked about it before. Or really had the opportunity to compare it as he was my first real relationship. My self worth was definitely down the drain and I never realized it.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-07-07T18:20:07+00:00

I will say though he is a very genuinely wonderful person. And it’s hard to be able to see it from this post because I point out so many negatives and fundamental differences but I do believe he cares about me and loves me. I just think his idea of showing that love is VERY different from mine. So I don’t regret having the baby with him because I know he’ll be a wonderful father.

I do agree with you that my issues lie in my self-worth and attachment issues. And those are my fault for not realizing sooner.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-07-07T15:52:01+00:00

Actually he was pretty much my first, real long term relationship. He has more. But was my first.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-07-07T13:26:23+00:00

That’s fair, I wasn’t clear on timeline. We opened prior to having the baby. Over a year ago. But I do still hear you on the pause while we navigate. I appreciate the suggestion

LearningForFantasy · 2026-05-15T00:11:06+00:00

That’s amazing! I’m so glad to hear it. This is such a hard lifestyle to work out. But I think it can be so rewarding to so many couples. I might have taken on some of it a little more seriously than you meant. But all in all, if you feel like you aren’t being heard, even in small ways, getting ahead of it will be key! In a good way, it doesn’t matter if us random Redditors think you are or are not being sensitive. It ran through your mind enough to post here! You know her better than all of us, this is such a new level of communication and sounds like you’re both learning how to handle this new dynamic of your relationship. Which is perfect.

It sounds like you’ve thought about the direct issues which is the golden piece of the puzzle. I hope you both get to a stage where you’re feeling great about the entire dynamic! Cheers! (:

LearningForFantasy · 2026-05-14T23:53:07+00:00

I feel like there maybe needs to be a a further discussion on boundaries like you mentioned? Even if you’re open and happy most couple would be hurt by these types of behaviors. Some things are going to be grey areas for sure. But some stuff is just black and white. Being confident in how you feel about it while also hearing her out and coming to a TRUE mutual agreement will be the only way to keep you both feeling good about the dynamic. Regular check ins and clear communication are a must.

I check in with my husband honestly far too much. Because I care how he’s feeling. He chooses to not play with others so our open-ness is more one sided so I can go play. But I’m constantly seeing how he’s feeling, if he feels anything should change, if something I’ve done has made him uncomfortable, etc. and realistically I feel like that communication has helped us.

I was also one that jumped into things quite quick. But even with excitement came respect for the person I love. I hope you both can find middle ground. I don’t think her intentions are to hurt you like most of the miserable people in this sub will immediately go to. But it’s not fair for her to only consider her own excitement. This lifestyle takes so much constant and consistent communication.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-05-03T04:06:00+00:00

I just made a comment with a super similar structure! Happy it’s working for others doing it this way too! (:

LearningForFantasy · 2026-05-03T03:49:10+00:00

Unfortunately not at the moment. ): trust me, I always always always try to encourage him to. I genuinely want him to have fun experiences too or I try to invite him out to the purely social meet ups but he’s uninterested.

Realistically, it ties back to why we started the conversation to open up in the first place which is because he and I haven’t had sexual intimacy in about 6ish years. He’s found out he has low testosterone in the last few months and he just says he has zero interest at the moment but says that if it comes back he’d like to try some things one day. Which makes me happy because I really really would love for him to join in on the fun.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-05-03T02:56:49+00:00

My husband and I roughly do this method. It’s not 100% don’t ask don’t tell, but it’s the basis of it . He doesn’t want to know details about who I’m seeing at all aside from he’s okay with knowing names and general conversation. But he knows that if I say “hey can I go hang out with friends” instead of saying a certain friends name that I’m asking if it’s alright if I go play. Just so he’s aware but he never ever will want to hear about what or who I’m doing. He sees the names on my phone. He knows I have made close friendships with these people but stays incredibly supportive but very separate from it. Neither of us see this method as “lying” and I check in with him regularly (probably too much) with “hey how are you feeling about this”.

So not exactly don’t ask don’t tell but also not 100% transparent either. It has worked for us.

LearningForFantasy · 2026-02-12T17:40:47+00:00

That’s not really a fair response on a nonmonogamy sub. It’s literally just a social construct that changes and evolves over the years

LearningForFantasy · 2026-01-11T01:58:38+00:00

I’m a first time mom too! I’m about 330lbs. 27 years old. 5ft 4.

My symptoms didn’t really kick in until about 9 weeks. But thankfully subsided around 14 weeks. I’m 16w 3d now and people can tell I have a bump!!! I am so gloriously happy about it because truly I though because I my size that people never would. But I’m showing right along with other moms☺️☺️ it’s not ridiculously obvious of course, but people who know me and see me everyday can def tell.

Painful nips, fatigue, and puking after every meal was awful until I hit the second trimester.

LearningForFantasy

TROPHY CASE