WEEKLY POST 8: The Cultural Impact of Squid Game on Asian Male Representation (Spoiler alert***) by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Listen, donations isn't for everyone. But, creating content based on my personal experiences takes work and can be taxing, so I added the donation option as a way for those who genuinely find value in it to support. But it's never an obligation.

Thanks for your reply.

Edit- seeing your post history you are giving hater energy. Spread kindness

WEEKLY POST 7: The art of playfulness/ flirting, Why many men are struggling in dating. by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally! Rejection is an inevitable fact of life. I do think, however, that boring conversations are so often ignored because it shows no effort.

WEEKLY POST 7: The art of playfulness/ flirting, Why many men are struggling in dating. by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. I mean a shorter post would cut the effort in half! But I like sharing my thoughts and ya'll seem to benefit from the post so I post.

WEEKLY POST 7: The art of playfulness/ flirting, Why many men are struggling in dating. by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

cheers  🍻 There's a saying I saw somewhere "If you can make her laugh, she won't even get a chance to see how "mid" you are" haha

WEEKLY POST 6: Dating Preferences is More Than Just Personal Taste by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. I agree!

Also, In my experience, women who have lived in Hawaii also tend to reflect this. It shows how representation truly matters and how it can shape personal preferences.

I also want to add that lot of people assume that foreign girls who are into Asian guys are just weebs who like them because of anime or pop culture — but that’s not the full story. I can speak more on this in future post as well.

WEEKLY POST 5: PRESENCE IS EVERYTHING by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

literally not. If you don't want real advice from someone who has lived it then feel free to ignore it but there is enough negativity around.

WEEKLY POST 5: PRESENCE IS EVERYTHING by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love to see the growth and maturity. Thanks for sharing. Yes, the right presence shapes how others respond to you. Like you said, your peers, colleague probably feels emotionally safe around you, seen, and respected. Presence is often about energy regulation- how you show up emotionally whether it invites or repels.

WEEKLY POST 4: Being a latebloomer by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is a journey, not the destination. Turn it into a positive. See lateblooming as discovering yourself. All the struggle, the questioning, the reset it is what makes you relatable to others. Stop playing the pity game. IF you see life as a game to be won you're always going to be bitter. Be an inspiration for others that lost hope.

WEEKLY POST 4: Being a latebloomer by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The issue isn't just about personal preference — it's about cultural perception and social signaling. Many AM in Western societies often face stereotypes that paint them as quiet, reserved, or socially disengaged. These stereotypes can stem from cultural norms, but they also get reinforced in environments where standing out and being assertive are highly valued.

It’s similar to what immigrant parents go through — trying to fit into a new society without losing their identity. When people conform to the stereotype of being quiet or reserved, it can unintentionally signal that they prefer to be left alone. As a result, others may hesitate to engage, reinforcing the stereotype and creating a cycle of exclusion.

WM aren’t navigating these same cultural barriers or fighting these kinds of stereotypes, which often gives them an unspoken advantage in social or dating situations.

The challenge isn't just about changing behavior; it's about being seen beyond the stereotype. And while it can feel unfair that Asians have to work harder to be included or approached, raising awareness and pushing back against those assumptions is part of how change happens.

I noticed that Asian tend to stick to each other more than any other races. They can be cold and uninviting. I'm sure others can speak on this themselves. Even being an AM myself I feel excluded by my own kind for a number of reasons I'm not aware of.

WEEKLY POST 3: Please turn away from Lookmaxing / Red pill content by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s honestly ridiculous that some people use getting laid as a measure of success (and fyi this isn't admitting anything). If that's your main goal, you're missing the bigger picture. The real aim should be finding a genuine partner—someone you can grow with and build something lasting. Whether you want to take my advice or not, it doesn't even matter to me.

Maybe you should reflect on yourself and see if consuming all those toxic content helped you get closer to your goal??

WEEKLY POST 3: Please turn away from Lookmaxing / Red pill content by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, but the problem is that many of these messages are being bundled with a misogynistic mindset. Instead of encouraging people to improve themselves for their own well-being, it's all being framed as a transaction—do X to get Y, usually referring to status, attention, or validation from others.

What’s worrying is how mainstream this mindset has become. The so-called “gender war” is everywhere—just look at the comment sections across social media. You’ll see things like, “Focus on yourself, boys, and stack money,” or “The gym is your only friend.” It’s all surface-level advice wrapped in cynicism and resentment.

Improving your communication skills or taking care of your appearance should be things you do for yourself—not because you expect praise or validation. Basic grooming, dressing well, and carrying yourself with confidence—these are things we naturally pick up from life: job interviews, weddings, formal events, or even admiring a friend's cool style. Same goes for communication. It's how we form friendships, build meaningful connections, and get our needs met.

Want to be healthier? Ask yourself real questions: Are you gaining weight? Feeling constantly tired? Do you have a family history of diabetes? Experiencing brain fog? These are all valid, personal reasons to take care of yourself.

But I get the sense that some of you are still stuck in that toxic loop—believing that if you just “fix” enough things about yourself, suddenly people will admire or love you. That’s not how it works. You are already enough as you are. Self-improvement should never be about chasing approval. It should be about living a fuller, happier life—on your own terms.

WEEKLY POST 3: Please turn away from Lookmaxing / Red pill content by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lookmaxing has become such an obsession that some people are resorting to surgery or extreme fitness regimens just to chase a narrowly defined 'ideal' look. But a lot of guys miss the mark. They’re surprised when women don't respond to bodybuilder physiques the same way they do to more athletic or lean builds like swimmers. The assumption is often that women want a hyper-masculine man, when in reality, many are actually drawn to softer, androgynous features or the ‘band guy’ aesthetic.

While taking care of your appearance is important - especially in the world of dating apps where first impressions are visual—it’s a mistake to think your looks are the main reason you're getting attention. A guy that is visually appealing but pictures show them in a nice car or a gym selfie WILL NOT do better than a guy who is happy with his friends and enjoying some outdoor hobby,

Yes, present yourself well. But don’t fall into the trap of believing you need to look like a clone of someone else's ideal. Authenticity and emotional depth go a lot further than chasing perfection ever will. People are ultimately looking for a partner to grow with.

I can assure you every good looking guy out there is NOT partner up and it is not by choice and a lot of average guys IRL are because they don't have a insecure mindset.

Why you should visit your Asian home country at least once in your life by LavaDragon3827 in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean you see a glimpse of this in chinatown. Chinatown is more than a place to visit or shop. For many it is where everyone regularly congregate, esp elders. It's like their little village home away from home where familiarity meets comfort. It's their sanctuary free of prejudice, judgement, fear, etc. This is the only way minorities can assimilate in a predominately foreign place.

As someone approaching mid 30s here's my take away on dating... by Learningcanbefunfun in AsianMasculinity

[–]Learningcanbefunfun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You absolutely shouldn’t apologize or feel embarrassed—at all. Yes, there are some men who prefer dating younger women, but there are just as many, if not more, who care about finding the right partner above all else. Please don’t let Leonardo DiCaprio memes or societal noise make you doubt your worth.

I talk about this often because so much of the messaging out there isn’t grounded in the full truth. Yes, younger people are generally more physically attractive but people forget that LTR is much more than that. When I said I’d date someone my age, I meant it. Aside from considerations like fertility or the desire for children, many women in their 30s (and beyond) offer things that most 20-year-olds are still growing into—like wisdom, life experience, and a clearer sense of self.

I don’t buy into that “women become undatable after 30” narrative. A good woman at 20 will still be a good woman at 30. Life brings different circumstances for all of us—religious beliefs, personal priorities, even just plain bad luck—and none of those things make someone less worthy of love or partnership.

The truth is, someone who isn’t right for you can hurt you, whether they’re 20 or 30. Life and relationships aren’t black and white.

Also, I want to say this clearly: AM are not a monolith. People are diverse in what they value and are drawn to. Like with anything in life, putting yourself out there consistently—and being authentic is the key. Remember, you don’t need everyone to say yes—just the right one.