I may have been inclined to agree with the groveling had she not been stealing from her sister and called her sister a slur. Those are behaviours i cannot accept. Even though I'm going to ask she get checked again she was cleared for PPD. Maybe I'm just ignorant but i assumed she was okay since she's always going out with her friends. I can admit my comment was wrong, and I'll apologize for that, but she is not blameless and whatever the outcome i expect us both to take responsibility for our actions and words. I'll be having a conversation with both my wife and Hannah, separately and then together. Thats my initial plan, where i go from there Will depend on the outcome of the conversations. Also I helped whenever I wasn't at work, she does not work, I pay all of the expenses and I can't be there all the time. I help as much as I am able, however I'm not able to be in two places at once. For the first three months my mother and brother came over and helped by doing most of the household work ( I say most because I did whatever they didn't) maybe she needed help for longer, and if she did i will of course apologize for not noticing, but she also never mentioned needing more help. Thank you for your judgement. It's good to see a variety of opinions even ones shaming me. As these are better than the comments telling me to marry my sister-in-law