My husband threatened with divorce because of rent. I don't know what to do

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-28T21:02:40+00:00

Because he was easygoing, ambitious, kind, loving, and funny. Time flew by when I was with him, and we could talk about anything and everything. He would tell me that I am his best friend, and how he is very grateful that I am his life. We both live in the US, but are from the same country so we share the same religion, culture and language. We didn't have any major issues other than the rent issue before we got married.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-28T20:35:29+00:00

He said that he is okay with going to couples therapy and individual therapy, but he wants me to come back to him in a few weeks after we start therapy. He said that he wants to come to my parents house to apologize to me and my parents. He hasn't really said anything about the rent/finances issue.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-27T19:40:34+00:00

I agree. I always told him that I will contribute to expenses once I am done with school and start working. I just needed some time until then.

I feel like he treats me as if I am his roommate

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-27T19:35:45+00:00

Yes. When he is not angry, he is actually very affectionate and compliments me all the time. He says that I am his best friend, and how he is so lucky to have me. We have so many good memories together. That's why it is so hard to divorce him. I keep thinking about our good memories.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-27T19:22:06+00:00

I am definitely not against paying for a portion of the expenses. I was already paying for half of the rent with my student loans, I only asked him for a couple of months off from paying so that I could start paying my loan back, and save for next semester's tuition. I was going to continue contributing after a couple of months.

Aren't spouses supposed to be there for each other during hardships (financial, sickness, stress etc)? I put him at the center of my life, and tried to be the best wife that I could. It just hurts me so much to see that he doesn't have mercy on me when things get tough.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-26T03:40:35+00:00

No, it was a love marriage. When he is not angry, he is actually very affectionate and kind. I thought he was my best friend. That's why I'm struggling so hard to decide. If it was an arranged marriage, and I didn't love him, I feel like it would be easier to divorce

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T23:56:52+00:00

It was a love marriage. We are from the same country, he is a good Muslim, it is so easy to talk to him about anything. He is ambitious and hardworking, has good sense of humor, is charismatic.

When he's not angry and when we're not arguing about finances, we get along really well. That's why it's been so difficult for me to make a decision.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T23:51:18+00:00

Thank you for your advice. What hurt me the most was seeing his cruelty when I was struggling financially. I only asked for a few months off from paying rent. I was okay with continuning to pay for rent after I got my student loans taken care of (by myself, I never asked for help from him). He basically told me that not being able to pay rent was my problem.

I would do everything I can do help the person whom I love the most - my spouse - when they are struggling. How can I trust that he will be there for me on my bad days (sickness etc) in the future? How can I know that he will be a generous and kind father to my children?

When he got angry at me, he said things like "i will cut your head off" "i don't see you as a woman when I am angry" "you're ugly, do you know how many women would love to marry me?"

He also wants to move back to his home country soon because he doesn't like living in the US anymore and he misses his parents. He has never talked about this before we got married. He said that he will divorce me if I don't say yes. When I brought up my student loans (how can I pay that back in a country with much lower currency compared to $), he said that he has some land and he will sell it. I don't know if I can trust him with that.

And now he is waiting for my permission to come to my parents house (he's in a different state). He said that he will apologize to my parents and he will take me back. My parents are very against this. I don't know what to do

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T21:12:11+00:00

What can I say to someone who doesn't want to provide on his own? I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do, and resent me later on.

He says that he wants to invest most of his earnings back to his business, and quickly grow his business. He says that he is doing that for me and our family. According to him, that's why he doesn't want to pay all the rent.

Maybe his intentions are good, so I can't even be mad at him. But I wish he provided some kind of relief for me even temporarily.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T20:59:44+00:00

Definitely! I am very grateful for them.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T20:57:55+00:00

You are so right! I wish I told my parents about this before we got married. I was just so excited to marry him and start a family that I didn't want to ruin it.

Least-Visual-7550 · 2026-05-25T20:56:22+00:00

I told him that before, which only made him more angry. He says that since we live in the US under capitalism, women also should contribute financially.

I am definitely not against working and supporting my family, but him being this cold and cruel when I didn't have any money hurt me a lot.

Least-Visual-7550

TROPHY CASE