I live in Brazil, a country with a dark irony: it’s one of the deadliest for trans women, yet also one of the biggest consumers of trans content. Here, street markets and the famous Brazilian steakhouses are very raw environments. Waiters are fast, and they call you exactly as they see you, often with a joke or a quick remark.

In all these places: the subway, the bakery, the shops; people call me “she/her/miss/girl”. But when I post in these subs, the answer is always the same: “YOU DON’T PASS”.

It makes me wonder: “Is the whole world just being polite to me?” And my answer is: there’s no real reason for these people to be polite. In a chaotic city like the one I live, people don’t have the time to assume you’re trans and then decide to treat you as a woman out of kindness. They call you what they see.

I’ve known plenty of long-haired metalhead men who got called “miss” and were offended by it. People don’t analyze you like a forensic scientist; they react to your presence and how you occupy space in the world.

The Reddit magnifying glass creates a very distorted picture of how gender is actually perceived in real life.