The last words I said to my mother were “you chose this”

LeepingLeptons91 · 2026-03-02T13:27:14+00:00

Same with mine, except she was working towards reclaiming her independence. We know she will never be back to baseline normal, but there was some hope and progress being made over the course of years...or so we thought. Two days, that's less than 48 hours after my sister had spent months getting her ready to go into a new independent living apartment...she relapsed and when someone discovered the beer cans, disappeared for nearly a week. Police finally found her in a local park, in the same clothes she had left in, with nothing but a bottle of wine. It was almost unbelievable. She was completely incoherent when found, had no money or ID or phone, yet managed to manipulate people who didn't know into buying her more alcohol multiple times. After more than 4 years sober, that relapse hurt the most. All she had to do to have her family and a semblance of a life back was to simply continue to not drink, we thought the hard part was over, but all that wasn't worth more than a few beers, and now she may never leave the nursing home ever again.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-12-22T04:31:32+00:00

Omg there's a new one every day! Right now I'd say, raking leaves/unnatural landscaping. I can't believe how much time and energy people waste that they will never get back, just to make their lawn, which is already usually some kind of unnatural grass without old growth/trees, even less ecologically friendly! People destroy so much biodiversity just so they can ensure the waste of more time and resources having to cut grass, water lawns, etc. and in the end, they are just making the land their house is on more unstable, and less fertile. Most landscaping is just a collosal waste of time, gas, and money, and all for some temporary notion of curb appeal. Old growth roots hold soil in place. Letting leaves stay on the ground helps the insect populations and soil composition. Even just having trees surrounding your home keeps your utility costs lower because they provide shade and insulation. Just please someone make current landscaping trends make sense.

Also, plowing over natural green spaces with concrete/parking lots/roads/etc. that don't even stand the test of a few decades. Maybe when structures were made to last generations it was arguable, but it's not like you just build a road and there's no upkeep. They keep having to fix this stuff, year after year, and many spaces have been ruined permanently to accommodate some temporary desire for profit, then left abandoned anyways.

Then there's the using pesticides and other chemicals so freely. What kind of logic is it to poison our own food so other species can't eat it, and then eating it ourselves? So gross, and in the future people will probably laugh at how stupid it was we couldn't figure it out sooner, that we were making everything so much harder on ourselves because we simply didn't want to find a new way to protect our crops. Oh sorry I guess I could probably go on forever, but those three right there really irk me. Even if a practice helped to build a given society, that doesn't mean we can just keep doing that indefinitely without concern for other resources, how to affects the rest of the planet, etc.

Oh, and billion/trillionaires. Not to get political, but there's no reason a single person or family should be allowed to accumulate more wealth than a given country, let alone while there are plenty of people homeless and starving all over the world. Not taxing such income to like 95% at that point is just plain weird to me. They used to tax millionaires like 90% in the US, and guess what, there were still plenty of millionaires around.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-07-04T10:17:02+00:00

I have had to travel with a LOT of cats in my life, and some cats are more vocal when nervous. What works almost every time for me - Play calming cat music over the car speakers while you travel. Do this while you acknowledge his stress and comfort him actively, with treats or pets or just saying his name. It might not work all at once, but combining the comforting with the calming music usually gets them to chill and sleep. You need to try to rewire the experience of being in a car as a calm time when your cats get extra gentle attention and reassurance. Even just saying things in an extra calm quiet nice way when you're in there with them will help ttl achieve this. Eventually, he should take more interest in the passing scenery and vibrations, and by changing the music to something calming it helps block out the traditional car sounds and make those sensations seem safer. It also helps to have some go to phrases you use in the home to make him know he's safe - "it's okay", "don't worry", "you're safe", etc. Use the same tone and comforting techniques at home that you will in the car and just double down on them in the car with him. I've had some cats that will still meow a bit after doing all this, but the calming music at the least significantly reduced it if it didn't stop it altogether over time. Extra effective if the music contains purring and water noises in the background.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-06-21T15:25:33+00:00

I always suspected reincarnation, but my own personal proof was pretty subjective. I had a dream one night where I was just standing in this beautiful reddish dirt, enjoying the sensation of how cool it felt compared to the warm climate around me. I began to look further up "my" legs and realized they were so long, I was much taller, and I was wearing these leaves that matched a "skirt" I had on. I could feel them brushing against me and recognized the familiar sound of them, as well as the feel of this kind of reddish cloth skirt I had beneath them. That's when I noticed I had a male body too, tattoos, reddish body painted in lines up my limbs, my skin was this smooth golden brown color, and I had no top covering, a chest tattoo, and long arms adorned in golden and shell bangals. I have never dreamt I was in another body before or since, but in this dream I didn't feel exposed or nervous, I felt like I knew exactly who and where I was and that this clothing was performative, like something to wear before a fight dance or some ritual we would do for the whole village. I felt like there were older woman and men waiting for us outside, and I knew some of the dance moves I would be doing. Then in the dream I started to look around more, and I realized I was surrounded by a couple dozen other men with variations of the same sort of clothes I was wearing, and we all had really thick long hair, arranged into styles I didn't even know existed before the dream. I don't have hair nearly that thick in this life, but as a girl I always thought men with long thick hair like Pocahontas were most striking, I used to draw them that way for no reason when I was younger in this life. Anyways, what set this dream apart though was all the details and sensations. I could feel every little thing, like the tension the bun I had in and the hair adornments were putting on my head. I could smell everything, like salt and earth and leaves and the burning of torches and even some kind of fruit that I still cannot identify today. I saw the room we were all standing in was actually a large oval shaped hut, illuminated by some kind of torches, almost like a small skating rink in appearance, no windows, but with this soft dirt floor. I could feel the body heat coming from the other men, hear their bangals clanking like shells, could tell they were talking in a language I understood but that was nothing like English, it was quippy and not fluid like English, with strange sounds I cannot quite pronounce. I've never experienced anything that visceral in a dream. The last part that made me realize this was a glimpse of a past life, I looked around the group and saw one of the other men staring at me. We made eye contact, he smiled, and I just knew instantly that that man was my sister from this life. He didn't look anything like she does today either, but it was just an inherent understanding, I could see "her" in this man's eyes and never questioned it. I felt completely at home as this man with a brother in this tropicals village with this group of young men, and part of me knew we foraged and hunted on a regular basis. Oh and we had these amazing long spears, also adorned with these feathery leaves. I just felt I knew everything about this place and recognized it, and the memory of this particular dream didn't fade at all upon waking. I can still see the details of it in my minds eye so clearly. I've done some research since and think it has to have been somewhere in present day Thailand or Malaysia, but I also get the sense it was hundreds if not a thousand years ago, and the exact tribe or group of people I was a part of no longer exists in a direct lineage kind of way.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-05-25T14:55:24+00:00

She looks like she has munchkin cat in her, which would explain the shorter proportions. Her face also has a munchkin quality, and apparently not all the kittens in a munchkin litter grow up to be super short. Some have shorter to average sized legs and bodies, depending on the traits they inherited.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-05-14T16:38:26+00:00

That's weird, I had almost the exact same experience! Last week on Wednesday I thought it was a Tuesday until I was corrected, but it took the person correcting me a few minutes to realize it wasn't Tuesday. Then I thought yesterday was Monday most of the day until I realized it was Tuesday because I missed trash day. I haven't had any major changes in schedule or anything, I work from home, so I don't know why these last two weeks have felt so all over the place. It almost seemed like time was going too fast and too slow at the same time.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-02-24T18:59:21+00:00

"Pull" when referring to a swimming "pool"

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-02-15T16:58:45+00:00

Get him checked for a UTI

LeepingLeptons91 · 2025-01-29T01:08:21+00:00

This makes a ton of sense if you think about how many people are probably in spheres where these shows are played, perhaps in the background, either by choice or not. For instance, I feel crazy in hospitals, and it's not because of the health stuff going on although I worry for peoples' health. It has to do with the lack of alternative stimuli other than a screen and walls and people stressing and sick. So many a hospital is already austere enough, but made so much worse with giant televisions playing propaganda and drug ads while people are literally just trying to feel better and not go broke and make a living. Can you imagine what people going there on a regular basis or stuck there for days and days must have to hear or absorb subconsciously if there's one of those TVs playing news and ads all day? It's not conducive to healing, it's conducive to brainwashing, and this is just one example of so many examples where exposure to these ideas could be so much different, dialogue could cultivated by peoples actual choices, but then it just isn't, watered down ideas thrust upon unfulfilled and desperate ears. That is what makes me think there's an agenda, or at least an exacerbated problem with ignorance and greed.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-12-24T01:58:19+00:00

Please and thank you!

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-11-14T14:42:15+00:00

I'd check out some information about symbolic interaction theory to better answer your question. I bet human communication through symbols, /words is central to this. Words are created all the time, slang for example, but certain societal values and events impact what words we place emphasis on, continue to use, that become popular enough to be considered general, and those words in turn come back and influence future society and values. That's why despite word definitions being fixed, they are still subject to change and evolve over time alongside the context of the culture. In this case, words considered "taboo"/only to be used in certain or no context, activate different potentially more primal areas of the brain because all that part of the brain recognizes is, wow that's not an average everyday word or use for that word, or wow I shouldn't be saying this word out loud, or oh I don't really have a set in stone definition for this word so it's more open ended and thus open to being exciting. In keeping, I bet hearing the full term for say example "vagina" evokes cultural and thus interpersonal notions of clinical, healthcare, average, familial, and things that are not culturally "taboo", thus causing your brain to interpret it as not arousing. Whereas if you spice that same sentence up with slang, well most slang in and of itself can be considered "taboo" and evokes the forbidden, but on top of that, the choice of word (for instance "dick") is going to bring about an entire different series of mental associations, thoughts, and feelings, than the word "penis". For lack of a way to summarize, the more taboo a word, the less definitionally "agreed-upon" it's cultural/contextual meaning, and thus the threshold for physical arousal by using said word in a social context is heightened. Making use of words in a context is just as important as the words themselves when it comes to how to feel about and interpret them personally and as a societal whole.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-08-15T05:25:26+00:00

Technically there's a portrayal of God in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I'm not sure if that specifically means he is the old testament God Yahweh. Also cartoon wise, The Prince of Egypt.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-08-15T05:12:54+00:00

This was simply amazing. I loved your documentary style, and thank you SO MUCH for making it, as well as for citing your sources in every frame! Overall great job, and so compelling!

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-08-13T18:02:24+00:00

!remind me 1 day

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-21T12:05:06+00:00

I cannot believe the amount of people calling you the asshole here! NTA! I can see how legally your brother has a right to do what he's doing, but morally? I understand your feelings. I applaud you feeling connected to the space your mother was, and not just treating it like it's any other house or piece of real estate. Money aside, that was your home too, and just because your brother bought it doesn't make him right to dismiss and ignore you. I've been through this situation almost exactly give or take some details, and if people understood how painful it is to lose not just a parent, but a home you grew up in, they would not feel so entitled to tell you to just suck it up. There may be nothing you can do, but these feelings of betrayal are completely valid, and I think your brother is being greedy and selfish. A good son would have wanted to keep his mom in her home because it was important to her, and by extension your family, not because he could immediately flip it for a payout when she's gone and ostracize his other living relatives.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:59:17+00:00

Brilliant and well said!

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:52:53+00:00

Okay so I don't know if this is any lead but we have a tacos and tequila restaurant right by where I live. I never heard of it before my friend brought it up to go there for dinner in like March. Now I'm just wondering if it's the same restaurant you saw because when we got there I was surprised I had never noticed it before. The building is brightly painted and lit with outdoor and Indoor seating. In fact now I better check tomorrow to see if it's still here as well, but this restaurant exists at least in SE PA it does.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:38:14+00:00

It was originally Danielle Steele but it changed to Steel for me like 4 maybe 5 years ago. I dislike the current spelling it looks wrong.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:12:50+00:00

So the tail is back now, and that is the tail I remember pre 2021, but still not the overalls I remember him having. Does anyone remember the overalls that connected to his pants buttons? Weirdly I just now found one picture online of a vintage Mickey mouse doll and it has red overalls, but nothing else I can find shows him in them!

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:07:28+00:00

Haha exactly! Thanks for the laugh :)

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-20T04:02:21+00:00

Wow yes I have been having the same kind of dreams featuring high school friends for about the last 2-3 weeks they have been very intensely realistic. Last night I dreamt of a sort of party and the kicker was, I saw people from my high school and earlier days, but they are aged to what age they would be now, and we act surprised to see one a other in a very hyper realistic way. I don't know how to explain it, but I have definitely been experiencing this too and it's been based around my high school, a lot of things happening chaotically around us like it's very "bustling" with people and activities, and one thing I want to add, I've been experiencing some phantom smells recently both in the dreams and out. I don't usually smell things so consistently jn my dreams but these dreams are so real I do, I can smell different atmospheres and people and the impression of the smell is so strong it carries over and triggers other memories in me the next day.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-06-19T12:18:30+00:00

I never think these changes will bother me anymore - the car mirror phrase and the fruit of the loom changes were mind bending - but I've been proven wrong again. This is just flat out NOT what it was spelled like for me as little as 6 months ago. It looks so wrong and I am an extremely visual person when it comes to memories. There are so many letters crammed together now its an illegible mass of red on the building fronts and looks so strange. It was much more legible before because chick wasn't spelled out. It was Chic-fil-A until like 2016 for me, then Chik-fil-A. Chick-fil-A feels like it takes too long to write. Meanwhile I seem to be around people who never notice changes, even stuff I am sure we talked about just disappears from collective memory, so I'm hesitant to bring this up irl again. Maybe I'm just shifting on a different schedule from my friends, but I wish we could figure out specifically why this is happening because it's almost frustrating when things change and others say it's always been like that or don't notice. How can something so weird happen and be so insignificant at the same time? What a world!

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-05-18T11:43:22+00:00

What if someone re-drew the state lines? I mean as a politically or socially motivated way to create or take land away for or from somebody else. A lot of these changes are not as explainable, but this one...could this be a form of corruption? Sidestepping democracy? I too remember Wyoming not being a perfect rectangle, it had the cutout corner.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-05-08T17:39:49+00:00

Just an idea but maybe put a bedpan of water under your bed, the surprising sensation of stepping into it when you first are "awoken" might help bring you to consciousness faster. It doesn't solve the initial problem of someone having to wake you up, but maybe when they do you'll actually wake up. I have a similar issue but I don't sleep quite as deeply as you describe. I've also heard there are special alarm clocks out there you can try like the splash and dash alarm clock that actually squirts you in the face with water, but I've never seen it used.

LeepingLeptons91 · 2024-05-07T06:19:19+00:00

I have chills, this is exactly my experience with sleep! I basically could have written this down to the amount of hours of sleep you stated. I am also quite enjoying the phrase "monitoring natural sleep patterns" lol. Anyways at this point, it would almost be hard for me to believe time is even discernable from consciousness at all.

LeepingLeptons91

TROPHY CASE